nick222 is offline nick222 Post #61  January 11,2012, 8:24pm
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[QUOTE=cristie86;1478652]
olneyjeeps wrote :
Although I am not a big Facebooker, personally, I view as a declaration to world and self of the validity of a relationship (very much what a marriage does).QUOTE]

Wow! Ummm... OK. Well, I've heard it's the same as bringing your partner home for the first time but marriage??? Where do you get you FB Marriage License?
I would actually agree that marriage is the closest comparison. When you take somebody home to meet the family, you're only introducing them to a few people, and you aren't declaring any level of commitment. When you say you're "in a relationship" with them on facebook, you're declaring a level of commitment to them to pretty much everyone you've ever known in your life. I don't plan to do that with anyone unless I'm marrying them.
 
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moonette is offline moonette Post #62  January 11,2012, 9:42pm
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Marriage legally and financially binds two people.
Facebook doesn't.
 
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olneyjeeps is offline olneyjeeps Post #63  January 12,2012, 7:46am
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[QUOTE=nick222;1479114]
cristie86 wrote :

I would actually agree that marriage is the closest comparison. When you take somebody home to meet the family, you're only introducing them to a few people, and you aren't declaring any level of commitment. When you say you're "in a relationship" with them on facebook, you're declaring a level of commitment to them to pretty much everyone you've ever known in your life. I don't plan to do that with anyone unless I'm marrying them.
It is nothing more than the new PDA
Does one "need" it? = Does one need to say / hear "I Love you"?
Feeling comfortable enough with someone to "declare" it publicly is feeling comfortable with the relationship (IMO)
 
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mitchell175 is offline mitchell175 Post #64  January 12,2012, 12:25pm
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D_Lion wrote :
You claimed a binary condition - married or single - to your relationships status, and thus a right to present yourself as "single" until you're married.

I pointed out (probably the normal view) that if I observed my partner self-classify as "single," when I was in fact her partner, that it's her I'd be "getting over."
D_Lion, you don't really require marriage to consider a certain level of commitment to your partner. I do. For you, marriage is much more of a financial arrangement than anything to do with love. For that reason, I can understand why it would be important to declare yourselves "In A Relationship" with each other vs. "Single" (as in "Unmarried" in my terms).

I'm with Nick on this one:
nick222 wrote :
When you say you're "in a relationship" with them on facebook, you're declaring a level of commitment to them to pretty much everyone you've ever known in your life. I don't plan to do that with anyone unless I'm marrying them.
For me, declaring myself as "In A Relationship" is not the same thing as "The Guy I Have Been Dating For A Couple Of Months".

olneyjeeps wrote :
It is nothing more than the new PDA
Well, I'm not too much into PDA. I can bring my BF home to meet my parents - but I'm not gonna make out with him in front of them.
 
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nick222 is offline nick222 Post #65  January 12,2012, 3:03pm
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moonette wrote :
Marriage legally and financially binds two people.
Facebook doesn't.
That's why I said "the closest comparison" rather than saying "a perfect comparison". I can't think of any other situation where people declare to the world that they are a couple. Pre-facebook that was only done when people became married, or at least engaged. Increasingly people are returning to that, as most are leaving their relationship status blank until then.
 
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brokensmile76 is offline brokensmile76 Post #66  January 17,2012, 7:34pm
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olneyjeeps wrote :
Not comparing to, placing as step
would you marry someone that would not have sex with you?
I would not marry someone who was not proud (enough) of me to declare their love publicly
I totally agree. My ex-bf would not show his status on FB even though I showed my status and was linked to him; yet just 4 weeks after we ended things he was proudly displaying he was in a relationship with a new woman. That stung!

My now bf immediately linked to me and displayed he was in a relationship with me. I needed that validity. I needed to know he was ready to show his friends, family and would be girl interests he wasn't just dating around anymore, he is getting serious.
 
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meanminicooper is offline meanminicooper Post #67  January 20,2012, 7:07pm
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Dont be on facebook: Problem solved.
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #68  March 19,2012, 7:43am
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True, a lot of dating through FB. Recently won't allow the word "facebook" on eH profiles...people were leaving clues how to find them and communicate directly,circumventing the eH system.
szgorzelski wrote :
Now there's apps on Facebook for dating like Are You Interested? Just because one person takes Facebook seriously and doesn't use it for dating doesn't mean others can't.
 
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VolGal is offline VolGal Post #69  March 21,2012, 5:09pm
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@ SuzyBlueEyes - your solution is precisely what I did. I deleted the post. Anyone who cares about my relationship status can just go to my profile and learn for themselves.

For my ex and his entire entourage -- they are blocked from my profile. And I don't publish ANY public status updates or pics.

And until I can legally be "in a relationship" with my job, or married to my local confectioner, I don't much care for "relationship status" things.

Seriously, though, I am "in a relationship" and we both are mutually on each other's pages.

There is a sinister side to this - my grown son had a female post "you handsome man" and granny started snooping around on the girl's page, found the girl's "relationship status" linked to my son's, and granny's son (my grown son's dad and my ex) confronted my son. And all hell broke loose! He had kept it out of his profile just because of that. He's a private young man, and this is his first serious relationship, and he's a late bloomer.

Just be careful, grannies, please!
 
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