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savman is offline savman Post #21  October 27,2011, 8:43am
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If you want a relationship defined, there is really only one way to do that, discuss it.

Any reasonable man, after seeing someone for 5 weeks, and sleeping with them, is not going to have a problem being exclusive if he wants a long term relationship, and sees you as having long term relationship potential.

If he balks at it, it means that either he is not ready to settle down with one person, or that person is not you.
 
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Sassafras54 is online now Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #22  October 27,2011, 12:05pm
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"Wanting to be exclusive after 5 weeks" and "want someone who's looking for a longterm relationship" are 2 different things.

It sounds like you're not ready for exclusivity, but you do want to know that he's looking for longterm? Is that right?

So talk to him about that.

(And I do agree with savman that most people will know after 5 weeks including sex whether there's a shot at the longterm with this person, so would want exclusivity then. But not all people will know that after 5 weeks, sex or no-sex.)
 
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parakeetjordan is offline parakeetjordan Post #23  October 27,2011, 1:51pm
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AndieIsMe wrote :
I hope you realize, Pam2Pam, that he can see every time you log in and look at his profile. Unless you know the trick of how to get to it through the big orange button, you are putting a note up on his front page that saying that you've been looking at him.

Why can't you just bring up the exclusivity question? Seems kinda backwards to just assume all these things (he doesn't want a relationship, it's more a FWB thing, etc) when you're able to play between the sheets with the guy.

Bring it up. Say something. Show your commitment to the relationship. Show your maturity.
If we are talking about Match.com, he won't be able to see her checking to see if he logged in if she just searched for his profile, but does not click onto his profile.
 
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AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #24  October 27,2011, 8:09pm
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I thought we were talking eHarmony here. But, either way, why check in on his so much. Just talk to the man. If you can sleep with a guy you can talk to him, right? (not judging her on this. I think we've all been in situations where the cart came before the horse and we weren't sure what to do!)
 
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