Mike74 is offline Mike74 Post #31  October 16,2011, 3:54pm
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littlebluemonkeymind wrote :
Now my former MIL is less convinced that the divorce was all my fault.
A moral victory well worth the cost of multiple wedding presents, I'm sure!
 
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Co6aka is online now Co6aka Post #32  October 16,2011, 4:18pm
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littlebluemonkeymind wrote :
Sounds like your life's been a bit more adventurous.
Might make a great horror flick... something like "Mommie Dearest" with the creature from "Alien" as Joan Crawford. ()

I gauge what they did and didn't do by what I would and wouldn't do; they failed miserably and for the most part continue to disappoint. Along the lines of "Ya can't soar like an eagle when surrounded by turkeys" they're not the kind of people I want to be associated with. I don't and won't wish them ill, but I'll never wish them well. (When someone has wished your life destroyed, and tried to make that happen, and almost succeeded, I think my attitude is very reasonable.) But if history had been different... so would my attitude towards them.

Anyway, everyone's situation is unique; YMMV.
 
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littlebluemonkeymind is offline littlebluemonkeymind Post #33  October 16,2011, 4:49pm
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Mike74 wrote :
A moral victory well worth the cost of multiple wedding presents, I'm sure!
I am, on occasion, a rather clever Monkey!
 
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szgorzelski is offline szgorzelski Post #34  October 18,2011, 8:35pm
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Unless there are other reason why you would contact this person, such as having children together, calling them up or emailing them to congratulate them is pretty much a no-go unless you have hopes of rekindling something. The next time by chance that you happen to communicate with them for unrelated reasons, that's when you congratulate them, especially since you have a boyfriend.
 
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jen055 is offline jen055 Post #35  October 18,2011, 10:04pm
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He was brought up over lunch by way of this whole story about how successful he's been lately, so I decided to say "hey, that's great, if you happen to run into him, tell him congratulations for me". Casual and, really, what are the odds that message will reach him? They're small. But I feel like I at least sent that positive message his direction, even if he doesn't necessarily know it or hear it from me directly Thanks for your input, everyone!
 
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Xable is offline Xable Post #36  October 19,2011, 3:42am
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jen055 wrote :
He was brought up over lunch by way of this whole story about how successful he's been lately, so I decided to say "hey, that's great, if you happen to run into him, tell him congratulations for me". Casual and, really, what are the odds that message will reach him? They're small. But I feel like I at least sent that positive message his direction, even if he doesn't necessarily know it or hear it from me directly Thanks for your input, everyone!
This, in and of itself, I find odd. I don't talk about my ex and I don't let my friends and family talk about my ex around me. If someone I know brings up my ex, other than the most casual of comments or questions, I very politely but firmly tell them I rather not discuss him.

I much rather discuss my current guy with my friends and family! Not my ex.
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #37  October 20,2011, 3:14am
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Xable wrote :
This, in and of itself, I find odd. I don't talk about my ex and I don't let my friends and family talk about my ex around me. If someone I know brings up my ex, other than the most casual of comments or questions, I very politely but firmly tell them I rather not discuss him.

I much rather discuss my current guy with my friends and family! Not my ex.
I don't hear updates about my wife's old boyfriend. Why? Because she doesn't talk to him. Case closed.
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #38  October 20,2011, 3:50am
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Ask yourself why you want to do this?.... Hang on / stay in touch, whatever?....it reeks of unfinished business rather than "you're so over it".
Not harming you?.....except looking like you can't let go and his success is still any of your concern.

Also, what would your current boyfriend think of it? Why don't you focus on that relationship instead?...not doing that is also "harming you" and your chances for future success of your own ....think about it.

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jen055 wrote :
Either way, it's not harming me, so what's the big deal, right?

I'm currently with someone, so I have no intention of trying to get back together with said ex. Maybe if it's making me so uneasy, I shouldn't do it?
 
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olneyjeeps is offline olneyjeeps Post #39  October 20,2011, 9:44am
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littlebluemonkeymind wrote :
I sent my ex-husband wedding present(s).

As long as you're clear in your intentions, it's a good thing. It would be considerate of you to tell your current guy to make him comfortable about it.
 
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