Make Up or Break Up? Seven Questionable Scenarios

Make Up or Break Up? Seven Questionable Scenarios

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Make Up or Break Up? Seven Questionable Scenarios


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PreachersSon is offline PreachersSon Post #1  May 18,2011, 7:07am
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Like Ben Franklin, wonders if it is a rising or a setting sun.

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I don't mean to be cynical, but I couldn't help but notice that the male with issues got the boot, but men are supposed to stick it out with the perpetual flirt, and Ms. Unstable.  I'm sure there's no gender bias there, though.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #2  May 18,2011, 7:47am
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PreachersSon wrote :
I don't mean to be cynical, but I couldn't help but notice that the male with issues got the boot, but men are supposed to stick it out with the perpetual flirt, and Ms. Unstable. I'm sure there's no gender bias there, though.
I didn't notice this.
 
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jimmyh452 is offline jimmyh452 Post #3  May 18,2011, 8:07am
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
I didn't notice this.
Neither did I, per se, but I found it to be a bold faced double standard that a a woman should ditch a man for "looking" but a man should keep a flirty woman. These are more or less two sides of the same coin.

To me, any expectation that you're somehow supposed to never look at other women is absurd, naive, and in direct conflict with biology. That's not to excuse someone totally disregarding their girlfriend's feelings and just completely staring at every attractive woman. But every man will always check out other women no matter what. To pretend this isn't the case in self deception and setting up totally unrealistic expectations.

As for the flirty woman, different people define flirtiness differently. I can deal with small amounts of insecurity with a woman. constantly fishing for compliments gets old very very quickly though. And as for flirting with other men when in a committed relationship, this is far worse than men (or women for that matter) simply "looking". It's actively seeking something, where looking is passive.

When does noticing become looking and looking become staring/gawking? Where does conversation and normal interpersonal behavior become flirting? I guess it's just another case for clear communication and getting on the same page with expectations.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #4  May 18,2011, 8:32am
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All of these traits are not gender specific.
1) The "Lookiloo" - Could be that the person is simply aware of their surroundings . Seems like the girl in this example just may have a bit of a self-confidence issue.
2) Agree, someone who avoids a one on one connection in the dating world is not someone to waste time on if you are looking for anything long term.
3) Agree, a controller early on is a sign of bad news to come.
4) Disagree with this one. People have all kinds of relationships. You need to look at all the people in their life. If they are close to their family, have had the same close friends for a lifetime this is a sure sign that they are capable of forming long term relationships.
5) Being thrifty and being a miser are not the same thing.
6) Agree, but not gender specific.
7) Disagree. This trait is not about flirting it is about insecurities. The person needs to work through their insecurity before joining the world of dating.
 
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Rat_Lady is offline Rat_Lady Post #5  May 24,2011, 4:27pm
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PreachersSon wrote :
I don't mean to be cynical, but I couldn't help but notice that the male with issues got the boot, but men are supposed to stick it out with the perpetual flirt, and Ms. Unstable. I'm sure there's no gender bias there, though.
Um...what? Mr. Lookiloo (male counterpart to Ms. Flirt) and Mr. Penny Pincher all get to stay. Only Mr. Power Play gets the boot. And I'm assuming by "Ms. Unstable" you're talking about Ms. Freedom.

There's quite a difference between being a person who hasn't yet settled down and a steamrolling big-mouth who hijacks conversations. And gender's got nothing to do with it. They exist in both. Just sayin'.
 
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Lilibelle598 is offline Lilibelle598 Post #6  May 29,2011, 5:06pm
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After dating for 9 mos. (living together for 6 of them) my SO has decided he does not have time with me.  He is "neglecting his son" by spending time with me.  Always has an excuse or line as to how he can't be with me "24/7" ... I am not an idiot, and realize this is unreasonable!  However, he still "loves me with all his heart" and "misses me" when we are not together.  I finally took the hint! C-ya!!!
 
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misskitty12 is offline misskitty12 Post #7  June 8,2011, 10:36pm
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On the article #7 Ms Flirt. What  if the table were turned as Mr. Flirt. She notices he seems to really need attention from other women. Should she run for the hills?  I happen to know one man who fits the scenario as Ms Flirt. Should the woman give this guy a chance and be patient and honest with him?
 
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schm1539 is offline schm1539 Post #8  June 8,2011, 11:06pm
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PreachersSon wrote :
I don't mean to be cynical, but I couldn't help but notice that the male with issues got the boot, but men are supposed to stick it out with the perpetual flirt, and Ms. Unstable. I'm sure there's no gender bias there, though.

I sense the same bit of gender bias here as well.
 
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WhoYaGonnaCall is offline WhoYaGonnaCall Post #9  June 9,2011, 1:30am
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If you meet Ms. Flirt, RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY !!!

That is unless you enjoy being with a woman who is unfaithful to you.

Actually, this type is incorrectly identified in the article. Her correct title is Ms. Low Self-Esteem. The need for constant attention comes from low self-esteem.

Her low self-esteem is a deep issue most often originating in child hood, very likely from an absent or unhealthy relationship with her father. As a guy romantically interested in or involved with such a woman, you will be unable to help her work through this issue. It is a deep seated dysfunction which requires a very long time of concerted effort on her part to overcome with professional help.

It is obvious these article are written by amateurs who lack a real understanding of psychology, human nature, and relationships. Rather, they just spout anecdotal observations that may or may not be useful.

Reader be ware!

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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #10  June 9,2011, 7:26am
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Gee, I wonder why someone moved this thread from the dating board. The eHarmony staff placed the article that this thread references under the DATING heading
 
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