Dating the wrong guy? or it's me?


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anabel is offline anabel Post #1  June 22,2008, 6:56am
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I dated this guy for a while. Since I met him, he was always critizing even his family. His dad passed away about 5 years ago and still talks about him like it there is no tomorrow. He doesn't hold a job but states that he doesn't need one because he has plenty of money in the bank, etc. After not seeing him for 6 months he asked me out once again and we planned for a getaway weekend in a very exclusive resort. The deal was that I was going to pay for the room and he was going to pay for all other expenses. Well, he paid for the first dinner and drinks and breakfast the next morning. However, he was too full for lunch so I had to order room service for me and I charged it to my room and my credit card. We wanted drinks at the pool and were also charged at my room (resort policy). Next morning we ordered breakfast at room service and it was charged to my room account. He then paid for dinner the second night, and I paid for the lunches and other drinks on the thrid night. He complained about the bed not been comfortable but took naps all day long and I was basically by myself at the pool and walking on the beach. He comlained about been too full and I had to listen to his contants complaints. Even if he burped, I had to listen to his "ouch".Last night, I had a little bit more of drinking and he was complaining that I changed personalities, how off beat I was, and so on. I terminated the weekiend by saying that he had to leave. So he left and I ended paying all room services, and taking a cab home for $80.00.


He complained that I have a busy life and kids, etc. I'm divorced. He said that my routine was a rollercoaster but I truly disagree with him. He was constanlty saying "Baby, please slow down", when I do slow down when I was with him, but I can't sleep all day and go out at night. Also, I liked going to the Casino and was a non negotiable item for him that needed his deep criticism.


He called himself generous and women try to take advantage of him. What I have seen since the day I met him was the opposite and I just had it. The thing is that I had forgotten why did we break up in the first place and this second time made me get so depressed. I'm a very happy person but feel that he was absorbing my personality and trying to shape me to whatever his ideal lover would be.


What do you think? Thanks in advance for your advice or point of view.
 
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MagyarSHU is offline MagyarSHU Post #2  June 22,2008, 9:24pm
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He is a cynic and a user. Don't let yourself be manipulated. If he is constantly unhappy with his life, he is not ready for any type of serious relationship. He needs therapy. If his ego (which manifests itself in his bitterness and criticisms) is deeply rooted , he won't even think he needs help. He will get hostile or deflect if you bring it up, so there's no use trying unless you know what you're doing. Simply walk away, and tell him nicely that he isn't ready for you if he grills you about why you're leaving. There's no sense in torturing the tortured soul. You know him far better than any of us, so whether to tell him to find a psychologist or God is up to you.
 
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TravelingMel is offline TravelingMel Post #3  June 23,2008, 9:50am
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I kept reading "He complained...he complained...he complained." Put on your running shoes!
 
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Red Sox Girl is offline Red Sox Girl Post #4  June 23,2008, 9:59am

It's almost time folks.....

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He's definitely the wrong guy for you - but the issues aren't with you!
 
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sabete2002 is offline sabete2002 Post #5  June 23,2008, 9:59am
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Have to agree with TravelingMel. He sounds wholly unpleasant and a user to boot. You surely want better than that.
 
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kim9610 is offline kim9610 Post #6  June 23,2008, 10:09am
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Dump him.
 
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lm124 is offline lm124 Post #7  June 23,2008, 10:26am
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He is not nice, not fun and whiny!


Three strikes, baby!!!
 
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SuzanneInHouston is offline SuzanneInHouston Post #8  June 23,2008, 10:44am
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I'm sort of surprised that you agreed to go on a weekend get-away after not having heard from him for six months. Next time remember that you are worth waiting for! And I agree with the other responses....some pretty smart people here!
 
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eliz1111 is offline eliz1111 Post #9  June 23,2008, 12:41pm
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massaganist massaganist massaganist


That's the type of dude who hates women, really. And tries to manipulate your feelings and make you feel depressed. They try to tell you what to think, and if you think different, you are stupid or something's wrong with you.


Screw that! Next time you want to go on vacation, go with your kids or with the girls. Life's too short to spend with people who make you feel less then happy. The guys you date are just luxuries- if they don't make you happy, get rid of them.
 
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lada is offline lada Post #10  June 23,2008, 12:53pm

hello? hello? ios this fphone still working?

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uh..it's 'misogynist'
 
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