Would you be ok with someone else meeting your SO's sexual needs?


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
truth32 is offline truth32 Post #1  March 4,2011, 3:54pm
truth32's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Oct 2010

Posts: 208

See profile

My local radio has a program they do once a week where they "prank call" a SO of someone to offer them a romantic date for free...and see who they name to come with them. Their faithful SO is on the line secretly, and the object is to see if the one called is cheating (they usually are).
I heard a few weeks ago a story I can't forget: a husband had them call his wife. He'd been in a bad accident 6 months after they married; and was permanently paralyzed from the waist down. They came to an agreement later on that she was allowed to sleep with men that he "screened" (he didn't watch or anything) in order to meet her sexual needs. They didn't date or do anything else. Just sex.

His concern was that she was sleeping with other men that he didn't know about, and maybe even developing relationships with them.

Question: if this happened to you, or your SO, would you consider the above as an option?
Last edited by truth32; March 5,2011 at 12:04pm. Reason: typo
 
  Reply With Quote
Xable is offline Xable Post #2  March 4,2011, 4:06pm
Xable's Avatar

gives up.

Virtuoso

Joined: Mar 2010

Texas

Posts: 2,607

See profile

Absolutely not. If my SO was paralyzed I would not take up his offer to allow me to sleep with other guys to meet my sexual needs. I would be highly offended if he even offered.

On the same token, if I was paralyzed, I would not allow him to sleep with someone else to meet his sexual needs. If I found out he was cheating on me to meet those needs, it would be grounds for divorce.

There is much more to a relationship then sex. If I find that our relationship falls apart without sex, then it wasn't much of a relationship to start with. Also, I would hope we would try our best to please each other sexually to the best of our abilities. Perhaps we couldn't actually have sex but oral is still possible.
Last edited by Xable; March 4,2011 at 4:38pm.
 
  Reply With Quote
tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #3  March 4,2011, 4:07pm
tweet37's Avatar

has all the tools and can........satisfy

Power Poster

Joined: Sep 2008

New Jersey

Posts: 7,608

See profile

I don't do hypotheticals.
 
  Reply With Quote
beccaf87 is offline beccaf87 Post #4  March 4,2011, 4:18pm
beccaf87's Avatar

Board Leader - Travel

Joined: Sep 2010

Posts: 1,134

See profile

My local radio station does something similar. It is called War of the Roses. They "offer" a free dozen roses and see who the person sends it to.

But to answer your question, I would not let my SO do that and wouldn't do that to my SO.
 
  Reply With Quote
LDJ is offline LDJ Post #5  March 4,2011, 6:05pm
LDJ's Avatar

Veteran

Joined: Jul 2010

Venus, apparently

Posts: 1,524

See profile

"For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health"

What a ridiculous way to canvass for listeners. Guess its ratings comepetition week.
 
  Reply With Quote
truth32 is offline truth32 Post #6  March 4,2011, 6:41pm
truth32's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Oct 2010

Posts: 208

See profile

I'm glad y'all all say that, haha! Sometimes when I hear other people's stories, I think "how can people think this is ok?"
People were even calling in and saying they "understand why they had that arrangement, sometimes you have to make unexpected sacrifices" etc...
I was curious to see what some people on here would think.

but I just thought "isn't marriage more than sex? isn't it a commitment to love that person ALWAYS?"...like LDJ said, "for better or worse". i do think its a terrible thing to happen; but what i thought was even worse is that now they are ruining their marriage proactively, because of what happened. They don't seem to really understand what their vows meant, IMO.
 
  Reply With Quote
annother is offline annother Post #7  March 4,2011, 7:06pm
annother's Avatar

Sage

Joined: Apr 2010

Alberta

Posts: 10,735

See profile

I would say that anyone in any marriage should do whatever they can to meet the needs of the other. Whatever they work out between them is nobody else's business, providing that they are open and honest with each other.
 
  Reply With Quote
Alli824 is online now Alli824 — Advice Member-Moderator Post #8  March 4,2011, 7:26pm
Alli824's Avatar

thinks common sense is a gift and intelligence something one is gifted with!

Volunteer Community Leader

Joined: Nov 2007

Fort Lauderdale

Posts: 1,263

See profile

annother wrote :
I would say that anyone in any marriage should do whatever they can to meet the needs of the other. Whatever they work out between them is nobody else's business, providing that they are open and honest with each other.
I'm with you. Hard to be judgmental when you're not in that position. There are many non-traditional marriages out there. Whatever works for you. The traditional ones are at the 50% divorce rate. Not condoning anything, just saying it's between the husband and wife.
 
  Reply With Quote
Xable is offline Xable Post #9  March 4,2011, 8:51pm
Xable's Avatar

gives up.

Virtuoso

Joined: Mar 2010

Texas

Posts: 2,607

See profile

Alli824 wrote :
I'm with you. Hard to be judgmental when you're not in that position. There are many non-traditional marriages out there. Whatever works for you. The traditional ones are at the 50% divorce rate. Not condoning anything, just saying it's between the husband and wife.
I'm not being judgmental. People are free to do whatever they please (as long as it doesn't infringe on my own right to do as I please). And I don't need to actually be in that position to know exactly what I would do. It isn't even a "let me stop and think about it" situation for me.

What is your source that says "traditional" marriages end in 50% divorce rate? And what is the definition of a "traditional" marriage in that statistic?
 
  Reply With Quote
Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #10  March 5,2011, 2:07am
Wiseman2's Avatar

Power Poster

Joined: May 2009

Posts: 6,313

See profile

This is copied from : Lady Chatterley's Lover

D.H. Lawrence


truth32 wrote :
My local radio has a program they do once a week He'd been in a bad accident 6 months after they married; and was permanently paralyzed from the waist down. she was allowed to sleep with men
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« Breakup to See Other People | Relationships | Problems with "I Love You" »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
First Meeting PHILLYKATE Dating 8 January 6,2011 7:45am
Is it OK on a first meeting to say "I am a bit nervous"? AmericanCrocHunter Dating 18 December 12,2010 8:29pm
Another last minute first meeting cancellation... SweetKisses Dating 22 October 3,2010 6:12am
weight insecurity when meeting new people reenz Ask a Dating Expert 21 August 26,2009 7:36am
Sexual incompatibility? annabella33 Relationships 61 May 30,2009 7:30pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“ ^This is the better plan.. My experience has been that love usually comes along when you least expect it, and when your heart is open enough to let it in. If you try to put a set time table on when ... ” –  TheThinker

Join the “Transition from dating to relationship” discussion

“ As Ingy mentions ...he's good with the lines and multitasking relationships.. All anyone can say is: don't get played again...especially by the same guy twice... Move on to someone who is decisive ... ” –  lynntlb78

Join the “Reuniting with EX” discussion

“This varies based on your age, gender, location, settings, and 29 dimensions. My settings are fairly narrow and I've always gotten a steady stream of matches. But, my location seems to have a lot ... ” –  dmi

Join the “Different Strategy” discussion

“I'm extremely allergic to cats, plus I just don't like 'em. So I won't date someone with cats. Dogs, I love. But I'm attracted to certain types of dogs. A guy with a little yorkie turns me off. ... ” –  ZisaGirl

Join the “What about a "PET BOX" ?? again this sounds simple or??” discussion

“If you get the opportunity, yes.” –  ThePriestess

Join the “Should I ever date in college?” discussion

“...and since you're Shaun Cassidy fan mitchell...this song is just for you! "Da Doo Ron Ron" I met her on a Monday And my heart stood still Da doo ron ron ron Da doo ron ron Somebody told me That ... ” –  legend29

Join the “Robin Gibbs Dead at 62...How Deep is Your Love?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 9:51am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0