is football sacred to guys? should he have invited me?


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bumblebbee is offline bumblebbee Post #1  November 20,2010, 5:12am
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I have a boyfriend who I've been dating for a little over a month. We are exclusive. I'm feeling a little annoyed/upset this weekend cause he didn't invite me to a football game today. he has season tickets and his usual buddy couldn't go, so he called another guy friend and invited him, instead. I didn't even know that his usual friend couldn't go, until I mentioned how nice the weather was going to be today, and he brought up the game and said he was taking another friend, etc, and that friend was so surprised that he'd invited him, but that they'd have fun tailgating today.

he said that his parents had two tickets they weren't using today cause they won better seats in the suites at the stadium, so he was going to find friends to give those tickets to as well.

meanwhile, I was just thinking, "why isn't he inviting me? is it because he knows I'm not much of a football fan and I could ruin the day or something?" maybe it's just too much for me to meet his parents this soon? he also mentioned that about 25 friends of his and his parents show up for the tailgating each weekend. so maybe he isn't comfortable introducing me to so many friends of his parents right now? I assume he's okay with me meeting his friends cause he already has let me meet several of them on some of our dates, but not these tailgating friends in particular.

I didn't ask to go to the game. I know it's rude to invite yourself anywhere. But I did tell him yesterday that my mom could babysit my child if he wanted to do anything this weekend, but he didn't say anything when I mentioned it.

so...any opinions on this one? am I making a mountain out of a molehill? he's going to be out of town hunting next weekend, so this was our only weekend to do anything together until two weeks from now, so I'm kinda annoyed and stumped all at once. I know he still really likes me - heck, he just told me he loves me for the first time the other day. but not sure what to make of the non-football invite.
Last edited by bumblebbee; November 20,2010 at 5:15am.
 
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StPaulGirl is offline StPaulGirl Post #2  November 20,2010, 5:30am
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bumblebbee wrote :
he also mentioned that about 25 friends of his and his parents show up for the tailgating each weekend. so maybe he isn't comfortable introducing me to so many friends of his parents right now?
That's a lot for a month long relationship.

bumblebbee wrote :
am I making a mountain out of a molehill?
I think so, yes.
 
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nancymargritangelita is offline nancymargritangelita Post #3  November 20,2010, 5:38am
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You've only known each other for a month. You think you're exclusive and that's fine. What does he think of being exclusive? Have you talked about being exclusive with him?

If you think you're exclusive why didn't you ask if you could go to the game with him?

Yes - I think you're making a mountain out a mole hill. You've only known each other one month; give him one year before making mountains out of mole hills.
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #4  November 20,2010, 6:17am
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He would rather go to the game with his equally enthusiastic football buds, so?
It really has no bearing on his interest in you at this point.

However, If the thought of being a future "football widow" is already crossing your mind...perhaps compatibility may become an issue.

This:
nancymargritangelita wrote :
You've only known each other for a month. You think you're exclusive and that's fine. What does he think of being exclusive? Have you talked about being exclusive with him?

If you think you're exclusive why didn't you ask if you could go to the game with him?

Yes - I think you're making a mountain out a mole hill. You've only known each other one month; give him one year before making mountains out of mole hills.
 
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Raybork is offline Raybork Post #5  November 20,2010, 7:24am
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The other posters are right Don't read too much into not being invited to a football game. Especially as you hardly know each other yet, you have only been dating for one month.
For some friends of mine going to football games is a guy thing, their women would never stand a chance of being invited.

When I met my last girlfriend ( who became my wife) I spent all my free time with her. Football, hunting, or free beer would not have kept me away from her!
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #6  November 20,2010, 7:29am
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bumblebbee wrote :

meanwhile, I was just thinking, "why isn't he inviting me? is it because he knows I'm not much of a football fan and I could ruin the day or something?" maybe it's just too much for me to meet his parents this soon? he also mentioned that about 25 friends of his and his parents show up for the tailgating each weekend. so maybe he isn't comfortable introducing me to so many friends of his parents right now? I assume he's okay with me meeting his friends cause he already has let me meet several of them on some of our dates, but not these tailgating friends in particular.
It could be a little of all of these things..
If you've told him you don't care much for football, then he may feel you'd have been bored..
If I was dating someone and knew they liked football, I'd invite them to go, but, if I knew they didn't then perhaps, I wouldn't.

He may also feel it's too soon to meet your parents, or maybe these tailgate buddies are a little rough around the edges, and yeah, they're going to be drinking, no doubt...yeah...
Maybe ask him when he gets back if he had thought about asking you, see what his answer is...

I think after a month of dating, that's a fair question.

No sense in stewing about it.
Last edited by TheThinker; November 20,2010 at 7:31am.
 
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CaliforniaDreams is offline CaliforniaDreams Post #7  November 20,2010, 7:35am
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I completely agree with you - I would feel the same way. However, my advice would be to let it go. If you're together a year and still never been to a game, then I'd say you have something. I would be hurt that I wasn't involved in the party too but I think its important so save a little face, be cool, and go with the flow. Go have a great day with your child and don't give it another thought. And don't be texting him the whole time! Be quiet and don't do anything but respond to him reaching out to you.

Also, in light of the other posts who are examining your relationship, they might be right, they might not - don't let them make a mountain out of a molehill!!
 
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Tipitina is offline Tipitina Post #8  November 20,2010, 7:48am
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Don't stress over it.

It's likely that his thought process was this:
1. I have an extra ticket
2. Of my many football-loving friends, who would want to go?
3. (maybe, just maybe) Bumblebbee doesn't like football. She'd be bored so I won't invite her.
4. (Thinks of friend.) Joe told me to call him if I had a ticket available. I'll ask him.

See? No thinking about whether you should be meeting his friends/family, whether you're good enough to introduce to them, or whether you'll ruin the day. In other words, it's not about you.

If you feel strongly enough about it, let him know that next time there's a ticket available, you'd be happy to go with him. Don't make an issue of it -- as many have inferred, he probably didn't put half as much thought into the situation that you have. At this point, you're not helping very much if you blow things out of proportion.
 
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CaliforniaDreams is offline CaliforniaDreams Post #9  November 20,2010, 8:00am
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Tipitina wrote :
Don't stress over it.

It's likely that his thought process was this:
1. I have an extra ticket
2. Of my many football-loving friends, who would want to go?
3. (maybe, just maybe) Bumblebbee doesn't like football. She'd be bored so I won't invite her.
4. (Thinks of friend.) Joe told me to call him if I had a ticket available. I'll ask him.

See? No thinking about whether you should be meeting his friends/family, whether you're good enough to introduce to them, or whether you'll ruin the day. In other words, it's not about you.

If you feel strongly enough about it, let him know that next time there's a ticket available, you'd be happy to go with him. Don't make an issue of it -- as many have inferred, he probably didn't put half as much thought into the situation that you have. At this point, you're not helping very much if you blow things out of proportion.
Two thumbs up!
 
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Spider is offline Spider Post #10  November 20,2010, 9:34am
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After only a month or so? Nah, not a big deal. He knew you didn't like football, and he has an established "crowd" that he meets with for games, so I don't see a problem at all.

But then, I don't think that couples need to see each other all the time anyway. (I'm currently spending a blissful weekend without the Sweetie while he's out of town. I get to watch my hockey game tonight, guilt-free! Yay!)
 
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