I can't stand my Sisters Boyfriend....


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annother is offline annother Post #11  November 2,2010, 4:37pm
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ozlady wrote :
...
By the way my daughter is still with him but I have learnt to step back and having just recently had a daughter she has just reinstated contact with me. I now no longer question bruises and am polite to him. Right or wrong this gives her the knowledge I do care and although our relationship is stiff still I believe she does know she can come to me if needed.

Don't lose all contact, not knowing can be a lot worse than knowing.
This is a very moving story, ozlady. Thanks for sharing it with us.
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #12  November 3,2010, 4:31am
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Below is an excellent point.
The first thing an abuser / user will do is isolate the person from support.

He has already accomplished this with your unwitting cooperation.

He will Gaslight (insidious brainwashing through creating doubt) her against you, by pretending to be loving, supportive and subtly point out that you and your husband are intrusive, controlling, etc.. (ironically all the things he is)

These people are slick, you need to get into his head to combat this, he doesn't operate / think the same way your sister, you or your husband do.


Mythical wrote :
I Talk to her, let her know you care, etc. but that you want to be there for her.

If you disown her, she's going to turn her back on you, and then she's going to do what she wants anyway. Wouldn't you rather have her come to you when she's feeling down? Love her and be there for her. That's what she needs the most.
 
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