OverAnalyzer is offline OverAnalyzer Post #1  October 30,2010, 3:39am
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Let's say sex for men = affection for women.

However, some women get turned off if pre-date or first date conversation is about sex because they want the relationship to be more than that before the sex, but knowing there will be sex eventually.

But, if the conversation is stimulating, intellectual, fun, and she feels like this is going somewhere, and they have sex but she is regularly not fulfilled, the relationship will most likely end.

All this is probably true for some men.

And if the sex is tantamount to a glorious relationship the couple will then do all they can to keep it lively and hot by having more sex.

So, maybe the men are right from the get-go.

Now, before you say what you think you should rather than opposed to who you really are, be truthful about this. If your partner was amazing in all ways but was a sexual dud, would you stay?

If your answer is no, then maybe when/where/why/how to have sex doesn't matter, because in the end, that's what we really all want.

Maybe we should just go for it.

What do you think?
Last edited by OverAnalyzer; October 30,2010 at 5:40am. Reason: had to stick in the word "sex" one more time
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  October 30,2010, 5:19am
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I'd say you're basically right.

I think much of the social conventions which still hold many people have long ago ceased to make any sense (in an era of birth control, STD testing, etc.) I do, however, consider a partner's faithfulness to be a requirement.

I would leave a partner who was unable or unwilling to satisfy me. This seems impossible, though - even if inexperienced, a person unable to learn and progress at something would be incompatibale on that basis alone. I think it's best to establish this earlier.
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #3  October 30,2010, 6:56am
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No.
OverAnalyzer wrote :
If your partner was amazing in all ways but was a sexual dud, would you stay?
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #4  October 30,2010, 7:00am
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I don't know!
I need more test data!

Workin' on that.
 
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StuckOnYou is offline StuckOnYou Post #5  October 30,2010, 7:11am
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OverAnalyzer wrote :
/...snip/ If your partner was amazing in all ways but was a sexual dud, would you stay? /snip.../
I have in fact broken up with two women in my (past) life for exactly this reason, so the answer is NO.
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #6  October 30,2010, 7:22am
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OverAnalyzer wrote :
So, maybe the men are right from the get-go.
Now we're getting somewhere.
 
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socalgal55 is offline socalgal55 Post #7  October 30,2010, 7:25am
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OverAnalyzer wrote :
Let's say sex for men = affection for women.

However, some women get turned off if pre-date or first date conversation is about sex because they want the relationship to be more than that before the sex, but knowing there will be sex eventually.

But, if the conversation is stimulating, intellectual, fun, and she feels like this is going somewhere, and they have sex but she is regularly not fulfilled, the relationship will most likely end.

All this is probably true for some men.

And if the sex is tantamount to a glorious relationship the couple will then do all they can to keep it lively and hot by having more sex.

So, maybe the men are right from the get-go.

Now, before you say what you think you should rather than opposed to who you really are, be truthful about this. If your partner was amazing in all ways but was a sexual dud, would you stay?

If your answer is no, then maybe when/where/why/how to have sex doesn't matter, because in the end, that's what we really all want.

Maybe we should just go for it.

What do you think?
Interesting, I was just pondering this and writing a totally different post than this one. So, in my experience, limited as it is, I have been married to or in a relationship with selfish and cheap men. These guys never exhibited this until married or long into the relationship. Granted, not all of my dating experience has been with these types of men. We all learn and grow.

So the above type of man is incapable of giving in a lovemaking session. Kind of pondering all of this, not apt to change my way of doing things, just find it interesting.
 
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NoCommonWench is offline NoCommonWench Post #8  October 30,2010, 7:38am
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I think that being sexually compatible is extremely important in a relationship. For different people that means different things. For some it means having sex every day and being very adventurous. For others, it means having sex once a month! The trick is to know what you want so that you can find someone who is the right match. I think the sooner you know, the better. And talk is cheap. The only way to know is to have sex with the person. The problem is when. No woman looking for a serious relationship wants to end up feeling like a guy just used her for sex.
 
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StuckOnYou is offline StuckOnYou Post #9  October 30,2010, 7:43am
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NoCommonWench wrote :
I think that being sexually compatible is extremely important in a relationship. For different people that means different things. For some it means having sex every day and being very adventurous. For others, it means having sex once a month! The trick is to know what you want so that you can find someone who is the right match. I think the sooner you know, the better. And talk is cheap. The only way to know is to have sex with the person. The problem is when. No woman looking for a serious relationship wants to end up feeling like a guy just used her for sex.
ITA and will add, from the other side of the gender divide, that no man looking for a serious relationship wants to end up feeling like the woman just used sex to lure him in and now has no further use for it. And yes, it does happen.

Isn't there an old joke about this:
How do you stop a girl from putting out?
You marry her!
 
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NoCommonWench is offline NoCommonWench Post #10  October 30,2010, 8:06am
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Good point StuckOnYou.
However, I know a few married women that have a lot of built-up anger and resentment towards their husbands for various reasons. Not having sex appears to be their way of venting! I don't agree but that is their way of dealing with it.
Also, I think that a lot of women downplay the importance of sex in a relationship. As a result, they date & marry men that don't satisfy them sexually because everything else about the guy is ok.
 
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