TinkerBelle007 is offline TinkerBelle007 Post #1  October 29,2010, 8:10pm
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I tend to date men that I have no interest in simply for a reason to get dressed up and get out of the house. I end up getting hurt by someone I don't even like. There really aren't any other hobbies that replace dating. Anybody else?
 
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annother is offline annother Post #2  October 29,2010, 9:11pm
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Ok, TinkerBelle. I'll bite.

Sometimes I date men who seem interested in me because it is flattering and because I have nothing better on offer.
 
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primarilyconfused is offline primarilyconfused Post #3  October 30,2010, 12:25am
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I often think that it beats staying home doing laundry.....then at the end, I should have stayed home with the laundry.
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #4  October 30,2010, 2:36am
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1) If you have no interest, how are you getting hurt?

2)A lot of people do this because they think they should or well meaning family and friend tell them to "just get out there" (again).

TinkerBelle007 wrote :
I tend to date men that I have no interest in simply for a reason to get dressed up and get out of the house. I end up getting hurt by someone I don't even like. There really aren't any other hobbies that replace dating. Anybody else?
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #5  October 30,2010, 6:01am
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I would rather stay home than get dressed up for somebody I have no interest in. I just don't see it as a hobby...

While it is flattering for a man to demonstrate interest...it seems only fair I actually be interested in him...if I'm going to take up his time without wasting my own.

But that's just me.

j8a
 
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OverAnalyzer is offline OverAnalyzer Post #6  October 30,2010, 6:48am
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TinkerBelle007 wrote :
I tend to date men that I have no interest in simply for a reason to get dressed up and get out of the house. I end up getting hurt by someone I don't even like. There really aren't any other hobbies that replace dating. Anybody else?
A few months ago this was me.

j0hn8andy wrote :
I would rather stay home than get dressed up for somebody I have no interest in. I just don't see it as a hobby...

While it is flattering for a man to demonstrate interest...it seems only fair I actually be interested in him...if I'm going to take up his time without wasting my own.

But that's just me.

j8a
Now this is me.

So I amped up my exercising and started writing more, and have noticed my fiction contains more sex.
 
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StuckOnYou is offline StuckOnYou Post #7  October 30,2010, 7:07am
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My father raised me to believe one should never play fast and loose with people's feelings, something I've taught my boys as well. Dating someone for whom you know you have no interest isn't just trampling on their feelings, it's potentially downright cruel.

IMO, decent people don't do things like this.
 
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Alli824 is online now Alli824 — Advice Member-Moderator Post #8  October 30,2010, 8:56am
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I have better things to do with my time. It would be painful spending even fifteen minutes with someone I have no interest in. Why waste my time and theirs?
 
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OverAnalyzer is offline OverAnalyzer Post #9  October 30,2010, 10:35am
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okay, I have to clarify. It wasn't that I had no interest because I did. As a matter of fact, one man I was really hot for ended up not at all being what he profiled, or revealed during our phone conversations and texts. Sad end to an highly anticipated date.

Second time, guy was nice, we had great conversation and a fun time. He had a few drinks and I didn't, since I really don't like to drink. Apparently that was an issue with him. Sad end to date #2.

Now, I feel like I'm going to the other end. If I don't see it / feel it during the conversations, I won't go out. Does it short-change me or him? Maybe. Am I wrong in not getting to know him better? Maybe. Am I home more than I would like to be? Definitely. And I'm not looking for reasons to not go out, I just want a relationship and unless I plan on doing him the first date, why dangle us both from a string?
 
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lindseyk is offline lindseyk Post #10  October 31,2010, 4:03pm

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To the OP:

Don't you think the men you are dating out of boredom and just to get out of the house might be aware that you aren't really interested in them, so they end it rather than prolonging a go-nowhere relationship? How can you be hurt by someone you aren't even interested in? From the way your OP is written, it sounds much more likely that the men you are dating would be the ones getting hurt, or at the very least a little burned by your behaviour.

When did dating become a hobby?
 
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