What comes first, sex or monogamy? Also, guys how long will you wait?


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Dafearon is offline Dafearon Post #41  November 4,2010, 6:47am
Dafearon's Avatar

Veteran

Joined: Jul 2008

Maryland

Posts: 2,181

See profile

TinkerBelle007 wrote :
I thought this was common knowledge, but I still like discussing it. Monogamy in a relationship comes first. It is usually discussed while dating. However, if for some reason 2 people are dating and have not discussed monogamy or had sex and sex occurs, that sex means the relationship is now monogamous.
This is a problem here.

Just my posting here, can you absolutely be sure that sex means relationship for me? You can't, because everyone's view on sex is different. Sex = relationship for you. It isn't common sense here. It is individual preference and perception. Sex could mean a highly intimate and precious thing to someone, or sex could be as mundane as taking out the trash.

Because of that, you can't automatically assume sex = relationship unless you talk about it.

Note, i'm not advocating multiple sexual partners here. I'm just advocating that making assumptions is what gets a relationship off on the wrong foot. Its also a little manipulative if you hold sex as a bargaining chip to get what you want (ie relationship/monogamy). Instead of assuming sex= monogamy or sex=relationship, communicate better.
 
  Reply With Quote
Dropdeadredtx is online now Dropdeadredtx Post #42  November 4,2010, 8:40am
Dropdeadredtx's Avatar

Still listening for the jingle of dog tags that isn't there...

Board Leader - Books

Joined: Apr 2010

Houston

Posts: 14,637

See profile

TinkerBelle007 wrote :
I thought this was common knowledge, but I still like discussing it. Monogamy in a relationship comes first. It is usually discussed while dating. However, if for some reason 2 people are dating and have not discussed monogamy or had sex and sex occurs, that sex means the relationship is now monogamous.
No, it doesn't mean that AT ALL. If two people have sex all it means is that two people with mutual desire decided to have sex. That's all. Everything else that it could mean is individual, unique, subjective and unfortunately often erroneous.
The rotation of the earth is common knowledge. The above is not. That's why there is such a plethora of miscommunications and emotional grievances - there is no 'common knowledge' in matters of love and lust.
 
  Reply With Quote
May70 is offline May70 Post #43  November 4,2010, 12:10pm
May70's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Oct 2010

Posts: 7

See profile

Dropdeadredtx wrote :
No, it doesn't mean that AT ALL. If two people have sex all it means is that two people with mutual desire decided to have sex. That's all. Everything else that it could mean is individual, unique, subjective and unfortunately often erroneous.
The rotation of the earth is common knowledge. The above is not. That's why there is such a plethora of miscommunications and emotional grievances - there is no 'common knowledge' in matters of love and lust.
I agree with Dropdead. People who equate sexual relations with monogomy are making an assumption. It is always best to ask your partner first.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« Is Having Virtual Sex Cheating? | Relationships | Will the physical attraction come? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
How long should you wait for a response? Gigolz Using eHarmony 19 June 30,2010 6:12pm
I long should I wait before communicating again? esweetie Dating 10 June 10,2010 8:38am
How long is too long to wait for a response? Testingthewaters80 Using eHarmony 9 March 22,2010 2:06pm
If you think he's the right guy, wait a long time borebore Dating 211 January 7,2010 5:25pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“ ^This is the better plan.. My experience has been that love usually comes along when you least expect it, and when your heart is open enough to let it in. If you try to put a set time table on when ... ” –  TheThinker

Join the “Transition from dating to relationship” discussion

“ As Ingy mentions ...he's good with the lines and multitasking relationships.. All anyone can say is: don't get played again...especially by the same guy twice... Move on to someone who is decisive ... ” –  lynntlb78

Join the “Reuniting with EX” discussion

“This varies based on your age, gender, location, settings, and 29 dimensions. My settings are fairly narrow and I've always gotten a steady stream of matches. But, my location seems to have a lot ... ” –  dmi

Join the “Different Strategy” discussion

“I'm extremely allergic to cats, plus I just don't like 'em. So I won't date someone with cats. Dogs, I love. But I'm attracted to certain types of dogs. A guy with a little yorkie turns me off. ... ” –  ZisaGirl

Join the “What about a "PET BOX" ?? again this sounds simple or??” discussion

“If you get the opportunity, yes.” –  ThePriestess

Join the “Should I ever date in college?” discussion

“...and since you're Shaun Cassidy fan mitchell...this song is just for you! "Da Doo Ron Ron" I met her on a Monday And my heart stood still Da doo ron ron ron Da doo ron ron Somebody told me That ... ” –  legend29

Join the “Robin Gibbs Dead at 62...How Deep is Your Love?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 9:44am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0