Scared of commitment or just a hermit?

I met someone online this spring, after long e-mail conversations we met up in person. One date turned into two, which turned into weekends away and him introducing me to all his married friends. We never had ‘the conversation’ but he stated that if he was looking for ‘just a friend’ he’d be looking for someone in his town.

This summer, I spent a weekend at his family’s cabin. I met everyone…cousins, aunts and uncles, mom and dad and even grandma. I thought it went great, and multiple times during the weekend he echoed the same. After I left for the weekend he continued to spend the next few weeks with his family.

Since he was with his family, I didn’t expect him to keep conversing with me as often as usual. However, we still kept texting back and forth every day for about three days. Then all of a sudden he stopped. A week later I sent him a random text and never heard back so I shot him an e-mail a few days later in case his phone stopped working. No response, so the next day I called and it went right to voicemail, I assumed the phone was off. So finally (two weeks after talking to him) I called and left a message that I was concerned about his safety and understood that he wanted to spend time with his family, but just to shoot me a text and let me know he was okay. I received an e-mail reply within the hour.

The e-mail apologized for not being around and he stated that he ‘needed time by himself to think about things’ and that he would also need the next two weeks for the same.

I’ve been in a few relationships before, and to me this spells ‘I’m just trying to find a way out.’ But wouldn’t he have done that BEFORE introducing me to the family? He hasn’t met my family, it’s not like I pressured him into anything. And if he really wanted to drop off the face of the earth, why did he send an explanation e-mail so quickly? Should I leave him alone, or try to get in touch after his ‘time by himself’ has passed? I really like this guy and we click on every level. I want him to know I care, but I don’t want to be the clingy stalker girl.

But wouldn’t he have done that BEFORE introducing me to the family?

Then all of a sudden he stopped. A week later I sent him a random text and never heard back so I shot him an e-mail a few days later in case his phone stopped working. No response, so the next day I called and it went right to voicemail, I assumed the phone was off. So finally (two weeks after talking to him) I called and left a message that I was concerned about his safety and understood that he wanted to spend time with his family, but just to shoot me a text and let me know he was okay. I received an e-mail reply within the hour.

The e-mail apologized for not being around and he stated that he ‘needed time by himself to think about things’ and that he would also need the next two weeks for the same.

I’ve been in a few relationships before, and to me this spells ‘I’m just trying to find a way out.’ But wouldn’t he have done that BEFORE introducing me to the family? He hasn’t met my family, it’s not like I pressured him into anything. And if he really wanted to drop off the face of the earth, why did he send an explanation e-mail so quickly? Should I leave him alone, or try to get in touch after his ‘time by himself’ has passed? I really like this guy and we click on every level. I want him to know I care, but I don’t want to be the clingy stalker girl.

...it depends on when he met the woman who he's even more interested in than you.

That's pretty much what I sum this up to be ...there's someone else in the picture now and he needs the time to see where that is going to go. Rather than simply end it with you, he's relegated you to the back-burner in case the other thing doesn't work out.