Confused by ex who made contact


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TAG95 is offline TAG95 Post #31  August 2,2010, 1:53pm
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I hope he gives some thought to what I said and wrote to him earlier. I need some advice on whether or not this doesn't sound stupid what I wrote him: I thought I could be friends with you at this time but my feelings are still strong. With no communication with you in the last few weeks was helpful in getting over the disappointment. I find it much easier for me to not have contact with you for a period of time as to allow myself to hget over you. Contact, may be just checking on how each other is doing may be easy for you but difficult for me. That is why I deleted you . I found it difficult to see status updates of yours moving on...I'm sure I can be become friends again with you but now I just cant do so...
 
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cathy63 is offline cathy63 Post #32  August 10,2010, 7:01am
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If you have feelings for this guy then tell him. First, get your own center, feel good about who you are, not needy or desperate... Tell him that you continue to have feelings for him and that you feel confused when he calls. That it is better for you that if he does not feel the same way, then it would be better that he didn't call you. Leave it at that... I believe it is okay to tell a man how you feel as long as it is without any hint of drama, anger, or neediness. It makes you more attractive when you care about yourself enough to express your feelings and set some boundaries. And you are telling a man exactly how you feel without having to make him guess. Men don't like having to guess what a woman is feeling... so stand up and tell him how you feel and set a boundary. Empower yourself!!!!
 
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TAG95 is offline TAG95 Post #33  August 11,2010, 4:26am
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Thank you Cathy. I have told him how I feel and he has also told me that he cares for me as well as attracted to me. I do believe people should know how you feel about them. I did tell him that thinking through the no contact was not properly thought through and I'm not oppose to contact as "ignoring" him is not what I want but boundaries need to be set up. It's getting better the fact that I have been "dumped" but my feelings for him have not diminshed.
 
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annother is offline annother Post #34  August 11,2010, 6:07am
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I'm confused. I thought you had ended it and wanted to stop him contacting you.Now you are rekindling the relationship by sharing "I care about you" messages with each other.

This is NOT setting boundaries. This is hoping he will leave the other woman and come back to you.

The only way to get over him and get on with your life is to cut all communication with him. And, yes, you have to ignore him to do that.
 
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