Confused about an Exes behavior


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Travis85 is offline Travis85 Post #1  July 28,2010, 8:39pm
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Short Synopsis
My ex broke up with me just over a month ago via text message. (We dated 15 months) I resisted at first but she firmly stopped my gestures. I finally told her I agree, the break up is for the best. A week later I got an email, telling me to stop calling people about her. (I wasn't, a misunderstanding) which led to some nasty emails back and forth until I finally blocked her. (I didn't take any cheap shots in my last email)

It was very difficult for me, a new experience.

Anyway, 3 weeks passed. I was feeling good, so I decided to send her a friendly email because it ended so badly. ie blah, blah how are you, hope there still isn't any resentment.

I was expecting maybe a block, or no response but hoping for a friendly "I'm doing good, sorry it didn't work out, I've moved on" type
Instead, she responded by saying, actually there is still a lot of resentment, gave me a low blow. And proceeding to tell me how she is doing "really well" and added that she is on vacation at a cabin that "puts mine to shame"

I don't get it... Any thoughts would be great
I was the one who was dumped, through a text no less...
 
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RoxyRedhead is offline RoxyRedhead Post #2  July 28,2010, 10:03pm
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I've found it best to just not interact with an ex if at all possible.

Of course we have no way of determining why she would send that dig at you-though I could hazard a guess. She's still smarting over something, even if she is the one who broke up with you, there is an irritation that hasn't yet healed.

We frequently get posters here wondering how to either get back or get even with an ex..and usually the best suggestion is to try and keep your distance.

I get that you were trying to be nice, and maybe hope that there was a chance that she had gotten over whatever she broke up with you over, but she hasnt' and you got hurt.

Don't sign up for any more of this. Take a break from dating for a while, think about what went wrong and try to figure out how to not make the same mistakes again ....then ask another woman out to coffee and see if you can find someone else.

And please don't email her back, asking what she meant by what she said...no need to get into a discussion about the cabin. It's some sort of symbol to her of something else.

Sorry you were hurt-but try to pick yourself up and move forward now.
 
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frontline is offline frontline Post #3  July 29,2010, 5:50am
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Travis85 wrote :
Short Synopsis
My ex broke up with me just over a month ago via text message. (We dated 15 months)
that's all i needed to read move on and forget about her, Imo there is a special place downstairs for people who dump via text message.

a woman did that to me after four years, the bad thing i was more upset she did it over a text than that we were braking up (what can i say im a odd duck)
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #4  July 29,2010, 6:18am
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Eh, she's just trying to get the last word in, and feel better by taking potshots are you.

Don't let it get to you. Block her number and email, and if you do have to contact her, wait 6-12 months before you do. And go out on a few dates, it will help your self-confidence.
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #5  July 29,2010, 6:25am
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RoxyRedhead wrote :
I've found it best to just not interact with an ex if at all possible.
^^^^this^^^^

What is there to get? The only thing you're getting is
confused..

I always find it's best not to reach out to exes that broke up with me.. If they want to reach out to me and try to be social, then great, but I'm not going to chase people down to bring up bad memories.
 
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stevex is offline stevex Post #6  July 29,2010, 7:51am
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An ex is an ex, do not interact with the ex because it only turns out bad. Remove them from your phone and forget the number. Do not text them when you are lonely or drunk do not talk to them if you pass them on the street or in the store. I promise you, affiliating with an ex is bad. There are rare cases when two people can remain friends, but that doesn't seem to work out for most people and is even harder if one of the parties are single and the other is dating someone.

If you want to remain friends you should still give a bit of a cooling off period and if you want to be just friends you can't talk about the past relationship.
 
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Raw_Truth is online now Raw_Truth Post #7  July 29,2010, 9:18am
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You sent that "friendly" email because you're still interested in her/want to get back together; whether you consciously realize this or not I'm not sure.

Either way, she knew this is why you sent the email and given she had/has zero respect for you (as evidence how she broke up) she sensed the power of her position and used it to make her feel good about herself at your expense.

FWIW, cowardly break-up = chances are she was cheating on you, and probably exactly what is going on at her "better" cabin. Even if not you gain nothing with ever contacting this person again (as is the case with an ex).
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #8  July 29,2010, 9:45am
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It's painful to have someone you loved or at least liked a lot start attacking.

Usually best to let exes recede into the past ... don't have contact.

Print your post and stick it up on the wall near your computer so next time you feel like "oh I think I'll just send her an email" you'll see it.
 
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Travis85 is offline Travis85 Post #9  July 29,2010, 10:08am
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I think she may have been cheating that night, and that's why she wouldn't talk to me at all.

A week later in those emails I said some nasty things, "I don't care, I've met new people" "You never meant that much too me" I'm starting to think it didn't work out, and now she is bitter.

She was always the one who put a lot of effort into us, just a month before she spent a lot of money on things for my apartment saying, 'hopefully we can buy stuff for our place someday'
I think it didn't work out, and knowing that I've moved on she resents me.
 
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Travis85 is offline Travis85 Post #10  July 29,2010, 10:09am
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I think she may have been cheating that night, and that's why she wouldn't talk to me at all.

A week later in those emails I said some nasty things, "I don't care, I've met new people" "You never meant that much too me" I'm starting to think it didn't work out, and now she is bitter.

She was always the one who put a lot of effort into us, just a month before she spent a lot of money on things for my apartment saying, 'hopefully we can buy stuff for our place someday'
I think it didn't work out, and knowing that I've moved on she resents me.
 
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