bekka74 is offline bekka74 Post #1  July 22,2010, 4:36pm
bekka74's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Apr 2009

penna

Posts: 48

See profile

awhile back i wrote how i was in love with my best friend and got wonderful advice thank you all...i stayd friends with him knowing it would hurt cause he did not feel the same way and i thought became friends with his family. this last month the word drama does not even begin to discribe what has been happening, but basically its been a HUGE game of he said , she said etc etc. heres the part im confused on..when i misquoted my friends sister she flew off the handle, however when i was misquoted (and could prove it, done on an email i saved) she still blew up and now even has my best friend not talking 2 me. i beleive she decided i was not good enough for her brother and found a way to get rid of me. my own brother said to text her and applogise (not cause im sorry) but 2 see her reaction. he said if i really want my best friend back i have to suck up to his sister cause my bf listens to her for advice. im confused what to do. i do not want to appoligise for someone else misquoting me, but my brother said she doesnt want to be proven wrong she wants control and just told she is right and then will tell her brother everything is alright. DO PEOPLE REALLY DO THIS? CANT ADULTS HAVE CONVERSATIONS AND WORK THINGS OUT? DO I REALLY HAVE TO SAY IM SORRY FOR SOMETHING I DIDNT DO AND CAN PROVE? i thought we were in our 30's not our teens. i do have to include his entire family looks to this one female for everything. she almost runs the entire family. i know this isnt about a male/ female relationships but i was hoping to start dating at some point and if i have to deal with this,with a male friend, then im thinking i will stay single. i'll never be able to do this stupid stuff w/ a boyfriend....all comments welcome and will answer any questions to make anything clearer..thank you
 
  Reply With Quote
littlebluemonkeymind is offline littlebluemonkeymind Post #2  July 22,2010, 6:38pm
littlebluemon…'s Avatar

Unregistered

Joined: Jul 2008

Posts: 13,649

See profile

If you stayed friends with him hoping it would turn into something else (and became friends with his family for the same reason) you were just hellbent on heartbreak.

I can't answer your question about the drama. I guess it all depends on which is more important to you: preserving the friendship or being right.

But, if you do apologize, mean it and then let it go. Otherwise, more drama is sure to follow. And if this woman is queen bee in the family, you can't hope to ever have any place in it (even as a friend) without winning her over.

Really, it's not a good idea to be 'friends' with someone hoping for it to be more.
 
  Reply With Quote
RoxyRedhead is offline RoxyRedhead Post #3  July 24,2010, 9:32am

Unregistered

Joined: May 2009

Northwest

Posts: 3,239

See profile

You sound terribly frustrated with the whole thing.

It may be time to simply back off from every one and every thing-and if you honestly don't think an apology is appropriate don't be bullied into making one. It will only make you resentful at everyone else in the future.

Drama really sucks-try hard to avoid getting into situations where its the norm. If this guy is so involved in family drama he may not be a good friend or potential match for you...would you want to live this way forever?

One of the things I have noticed in the past 15 years is how acceptable drama has become in friend and family groups....I think it's because of the drama seen on reality TV-that people believe it's normal. Drama isn't normal at all!

Back away from the situation as best you can and try to get this toxic drama out of your life-we all deserve better than this.
 
  Reply With Quote
Sassafras54 is online now Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #4  July 24,2010, 11:09am
Sassafras54's Avatar

Your Community Coordinator

Moderator

Joined: Oct 2009

San Pedro, CA

Posts: 9,081

See profile

Sounds like a dysfunctional family. It's easy to point at one family member and "she's the evil one" but in reality the whole family is playing the game.

Don't make the mistake of generalizing your experiences with one tiny little set of people to all people, all families, all men. Most people don't live at that high level of drama and dysfunction. Jerry Springer is not reality.

Go find other people to get involved with.
 
  Reply With Quote
annother is offline annother Post #5  July 24,2010, 7:36pm
annother's Avatar

Sage

Joined: Apr 2010

Alberta

Posts: 10,735

See profile

Sometimes people who get hot under the collar over misunderstandings and perceived insults also are very passionate in their affections. They are expressions in the extreme, no matter what the issue.

Can you live with that? Or, would you rather shake your head and say "It's just not worth it"?
 
  Reply With Quote
robv_la is offline robv_la Post #6  July 25,2010, 5:10am
robv_la's Avatar

Looking forward to another snow season

Veteran

Joined: Aug 2008

Long Beach, CA

Posts: 1,333

See profile

I agree with the responses for far. Back off from this situation and family. You won't want to be involved in this drama.

And even if you apologized, this type of thing would likely occur again and again with this family.

It's not worth it really. You want to surround yourself with friends who value you, who are willing to listen to you, not just talk.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« Oh Look! *points* Is That Baggage Over There? | Relationships | Passively provoking a break up »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Guys please help.....I'm SO confused... kmc1977 Dating 25 January 20,2012 6:55pm
Closure after a breakup????? yoga_gal Dating 62 July 22,2011 3:10pm
Women confuse me Atlguy38 Dating 56 June 13,2011 3:31pm
so confused ....want to hear a good advice fmss Ask a Dating Expert 5 May 20,2010 9:46am
Miles apart and confused askingsomething Relationships 3 March 7,2010 12:46pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“ ^This is the better plan.. My experience has been that love usually comes along when you least expect it, and when your heart is open enough to let it in. If you try to put a set time table on when ... ” –  TheThinker

Join the “Transition from dating to relationship” discussion

“ As Ingy mentions ...he's good with the lines and multitasking relationships.. All anyone can say is: don't get played again...especially by the same guy twice... Move on to someone who is decisive ... ” –  lynntlb78

Join the “Reuniting with EX” discussion

“This varies based on your age, gender, location, settings, and 29 dimensions. My settings are fairly narrow and I've always gotten a steady stream of matches. But, my location seems to have a lot ... ” –  dmi

Join the “Different Strategy” discussion

“I'm extremely allergic to cats, plus I just don't like 'em. So I won't date someone with cats. Dogs, I love. But I'm attracted to certain types of dogs. A guy with a little yorkie turns me off. ... ” –  ZisaGirl

Join the “What about a "PET BOX" ?? again this sounds simple or??” discussion

“If you get the opportunity, yes.” –  ThePriestess

Join the “Should I ever date in college?” discussion

“...and since you're Shaun Cassidy fan mitchell...this song is just for you! "Da Doo Ron Ron" I met her on a Monday And my heart stood still Da doo ron ron ron Da doo ron ron Somebody told me That ... ” –  legend29

Join the “Robin Gibbs Dead at 62...How Deep is Your Love?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 9:37am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0