long distance relationships


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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #21  July 19,2010, 6:55pm
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greeneyedgir50 wrote :
While I am not a controlling person I would be interested to know how you would reword the highlighted phrases? Thanks.

I would consider changing the words which feel sub.missive to words which imply more of a sense of control and power. This is the terms I highlighted.

Note, I still think this is a good idea - showing interest is an excellent thing for a woman to do: you can stand out in a major way.

Again, this is from my perspective and taste. I am an outlier, and probably best not followed by most people.
 
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annother is offline annother Post #22  July 19,2010, 6:56pm
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Your letter is great! Good luck.
 
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stevex is offline stevex Post #23  July 20,2010, 11:52am
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A surprise visit is a sweet idea but considering your distance that you have to travel and his health it would be best to tell him ahead of time.
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #24  July 20,2010, 1:06pm
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That's an excellent letter. If I got something like that from a LDR match I'd like it a lot -- it's inviting without being invasive at all. Good luck with it!
 
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ian80au is offline ian80au Post #25  July 20,2010, 8:09pm
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I've been down this path before myself. I found it nothing short of a recipe for disaster. I think the tyranny of distance got to her more than it got to me.

I was willing to throw my life away and move over there to be with her. I was in Newcastle and she in Adelaide.

Yeah it hurt but it did make me think. What if you went over there and things didn't work out after the fact? I'd be moving back to Newcastle not only with my tail between my legs but a broken heart as well.
 
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Alli824 is offline Alli824 Post #26  July 21,2010, 10:16am
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I date primarily long distance, but am not a big fan of surprise visits or people dropping in unexpectedly. I feel obligated to drop everything when they do, and I feel it is somewhat presumptuous of them to think I have no life. Sorry, it is just how I feel. I don't care for people who stop by my house unexpectedly without calling either. It's just not polite. This may backfire. You need to tell him you're coming.
 
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Uncarved_Block is offline Uncarved_Block Post #27  July 22,2010, 8:26pm
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Alli824 wrote :
I date primarily long distance, but am not a big fan of surprise visits or people dropping in unexpectedly. I feel obligated to drop everything when they do, and I feel it is somewhat presumptuous of them to think I have no life. Sorry, it is just how I feel. I don't care for people who stop by my house unexpectedly without calling either. It's just not polite. This may backfire. You need to tell him you're coming.
Hey. Alli is like right on. My GF lives next door. I *never* assume a knock on the door is appropriate unless requested, or asked. Common courtesy. Manners. We show them when we care.

Save surprises for later, you'll need them to keep the magic alive.
If you wanna do the wild thing, you had better check (discretely) first.

The biggest surprise for most folks is just showing up, when requested.
 
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bc0001 is offline bc0001 Post #28  July 23,2010, 5:01am
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Ahh... You are getting bum advice I think. If I were in love with someone special and they popped in on me, I would be delighted - assuming you are in a committed relationship.
Not speaking for long periods of time - doesn't sound terribly committed....

But if you are...

People who have nothing to hide... hide nothing.
 
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greeneyedgir50 is offline greeneyedgir50 Post #29  July 26,2010, 7:12pm
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Well, looks like the plan backfired. I sent the email that I posted here and haven't heard back. Planned trip date is just 2 days away...not sure if I want to cancel or just go see some sights and forget about the rest. I'm thinking I don't know him as well as I thought and now seems like it's all a one-sided relationship. The part that sucks is I really do care about him and only do things that I think are nice, try to make him feel good and let him know that I do care about him. Everytime we talk things are good just the times are so far apart. I was reading a post on here that talked about guys (or ladies) just drifting away instead of ending a relationship..thinking that may be the case here. I feel sick... I know I shouldn't be confused...the writing appears to be on the wall.
 
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greeneyedgir50 is offline greeneyedgir50 Post #30  July 26,2010, 7:15pm
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Oops! almost forgot...thank you for all the input and well wishes..very much appreciated here.
 
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