gothustartus is offline gothustartus Post #11  July 19,2010, 5:53am
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greeneyedgir50 wrote :
Thanks for your input. I really don't want to tell him I am visiting cuz that is the surprise! What do you think of telling him I have a 'special delivery' for him but need to know if he will be home on a certain date? Does that give it away?
Tell him you'd like to call him on that date, then when the time comes phone his number and tell him to open his door.
 
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annother is offline annother Post #12  July 19,2010, 8:30am
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D_Lion wrote :
I think there is something "wrong" when a person is afraid to make a suprise visit to a partner, due to fear that the partner is involved with another, Annother!

Have some optimism!
I know. I'm bringing too much caution to bear here. Sorry about that. Actually, my thought was that he might think that she thought he was involved with someone else, but clearly I am overthinking this whole thing!

I still don't like surprise visits much, though.
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #13  July 19,2010, 9:37am
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If you're sure he's feeling better right now ... why not? Do what appeals to you. Have an alternate plan just in case he's out of town or sick. Who knows, it could be the nicest trip you ever take. Or a total disaster! If you can take uncertainty, go for it.

Personally, I do not like to be dropped in on, let alone have a houseguest show up uninvited. But not everyone's like that.
 
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MsKatt is offline MsKatt Post #14  July 19,2010, 1:26pm
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I agree with the others, you shouldn't just show up there unannounced. If you lived closer to each other then you could take that gamble but there is too much distance for things not to go your way when you get there.

I understand he's sick but I think not speaking to him for weeks at a time is a bit odd.
 
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greeneyedgir50 is offline greeneyedgir50 Post #15  July 19,2010, 3:46pm
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Ok, I thank all of you for your input and I've thought more about what all of you have said and think too that it should not be unannounced because of the distance and health issues. Even if it's not a good time for him I may go...found this really cute B&B and would like to go explore the area. Thought I would let him know in these words .....

I've been wanting to surprise you with me making a visit to Ontario. Surprise! I guess the surprise is now just me letting you know I want to do something special for you. My plans are to stay in ****** and call you to see if you'd have dinner with me… hoping, of course, that you would join me. It is something I'd really like to do and hope that you would like to as well. My expectations are nothing more than a relaxing dinner with some good conversation. Other surprises have crossed my mind but are totally dependent on how you are feeling.

I have done some research on the area, mapped my route, checked on the ferry, made a reservation at the place I'd like to stay and checked out some places to have dinner. I am very much ready for the trip but would like your approval as I am not sure it would be good to surprise you with an unannounced visit. I will be arriving on a Thursday and staying 2 nights. As I said, I will stay in *******and would be happy to pick you up in ******, not necessarily at your home but somewhere in town is fine, to drive you to dinner..an old fashioned date..a little in reverse I guess you would say.. with the lady picking you up...smiles.

Ok folks, what do you think?
 
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lunabeach is offline lunabeach Post #16  July 19,2010, 4:06pm
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I think that sounds really nice - it's enthusiastic, makes it clear that you have no intention of burdening him, just want to do something nice, and that the trip is also for your own enjoyment.
 
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greeneyedgir50 is offline greeneyedgir50 Post #17  July 19,2010, 4:32pm
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lunabeach wrote :
I think that sounds really nice - it's enthusiastic, makes it clear that you have no intention of burdening him, just want to do something nice, and that the trip is also for your own enjoyment.
Thanks luna, I hope it's good.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #18  July 19,2010, 6:04pm
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greeneyedgir50 wrote :
I've been wanting to surprise you with me making a visit to Ontario. Surprise! I guess the surprise is now just me letting you know I want to do something special for you. My plans are to stay in ****** and call you to see if you'd have dinner with me… hoping, of course, that you would join me. It is something I'd really like to do and hope that you would like to as well. My expectations are nothing more than a relaxing dinner with some good conversation. Other surprises have crossed my mind but are totally dependent on how you are feeling.

I have done some research on the area, mapped my route, checked on the ferry, made a reservation at the place I'd like to stay and checked out some places to have dinner. I am very much ready for the trip but would like your approval as I am not sure it would be good to surprise you with an unannounced visit. I will be arriving on a Thursday and staying 2 nights. As I said, I will stay in *******and would be happy to pick you up in ******, not necessarily at your home but somewhere in town is fine, to drive you to dinner..an old fashioned date..a little in reverse I guess you would say.. with the lady picking you up...smiles.

While I think your overall idea is excellent, I highlighted some phrasing that seems weak to me.

I tend to have a personality which uses more of a controlling tone, and asking or hoping are not how I speak.

So, you may wish to dismiss my post as representing a different value than your's / your partner's.

Just indicating my reaction.

***

I thnk the specific plans described is a great way to do it.
 
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greeneyedgir50 is offline greeneyedgir50 Post #19  July 19,2010, 6:25pm
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D_Lion wrote :
While I think your overall idea is excellent, I highlighted some phrasing that seems weak to me.

I tend to have a personality which uses more of a controlling tone, and asking or hoping are not how I speak.

So, you may wish to dismiss my post as representing a different value than your's / your partner's.

Just indicating my reaction.

***

I thnk the specific plans described is a great way to do it.
While I am not a controlling person I would be interested to know how you would reword the highlighted phrases? Thanks.
 
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Lostintranslation is offline Lostintranslation Post #20  July 19,2010, 6:32pm
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I think you are on the right track with this plan! Make sure it is fun for you and no obligations. Of course, I, too, hope that you are able to spend time together in a way that is enjoyable and delightful!

As for the wording - you two have been corresponding for a long time - he is used to your way of communicating. I see what DL is saying - sometimes I have a habit of tending to go on and repeat myself - so edit as you will.
 
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