I'm almost shocked, hurt and relieved at the same time. I didn't know a lot of guys in the military could be like this.


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
DreamingOfAtlantis is offline DreamingOfAtlantis Post #31  November 2,2010, 7:04pm
DreamingOfAtl…'s Avatar

finally finished writing the screenplay "Dreaming of Altantis!"

Virtuoso

Joined: May 2008

Richmond, Virginia

Posts: 2,509

See profile

I didn't make it through the entire first post. I started reading it and logged "abusive man, woman keeps coming back for more" in my head, then I started scanning and even skipped the later parts of it.

But there's one sentence in that first post that stands out, and I'm not going to quote it exactly, but it's close to: "He told me I'd never be as important to him as a girlfriend that died 7 years ago." Actually it reminds me of Meatloaf's "I want you, I need you, but there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you. Now don't feel sad, two out of three ain't bad."

Two out of three is pathetic. And, bluntly, if you are willing to settle for a man who is "settling" for you, then you are asking for serious trouble. That one sentence is enough to tell you he does NOT value you.

Also, the rest of the post, and the rest of the thread tells me the OP does NOT value herself and see herself as a precious and valuable person. Bluntly, and I've said this before, but GET SOME HELP! I don't mean this as an insult, but see a counselor, someone who can help you see your own value.

None of us deserve to be used and abused and that is what he does. The cycle is crystal clear: start nice, then stop pretending and when things get so bad your partner leaves or fights, make nice again, until they feel safe -- then you can go on and be yourself and abuse them again.

The abuse and bad relationships like this will only continue until you stand up and say, "I'm better than this and deserve better and I'm going to get better, even if I need help to do it!"
 
  Reply With Quote
DreamingOfAtlantis is offline DreamingOfAtlantis Post #32  November 2,2010, 7:07pm
DreamingOfAtl…'s Avatar

finally finished writing the screenplay "Dreaming of Altantis!"

Virtuoso

Joined: May 2008

Richmond, Virginia

Posts: 2,509

See profile

Oh, and one other point.

I taught in treatment for a while. In the psych hospital where I worked, which is in Richmond, nowhere near a military base, most of the patients were in military families.

Thinking that just because someone is in the military or a church or any other group so they'll be okay is ignorant. And that's a kind way to put it. While I'm a pacifist and, due to my religion, I can't join the military, many extended family members are vets and I respect them, but there are many abusive or cruel people who go in the military, too. They want to hold the weapons and be the ones in charge or in power. So until the person proves his or her self, don't accept their affiliation with ANY group as a sign of safety.
 
  Reply With Quote
frogprince is offline frogprince Post #33  November 3,2010, 4:02am
frogprince's Avatar

is at home.

Enthusiast

Joined: Jul 2010

Posts: 774

See profile

jayhawkgirl wrote :
I read the whole thing. You said he tried to break up with you (before you cheated on him), but that you continued talking, etc. as if nothing had changed, and you also said the reason you hadn't seen him for four months was that he was supposedly too busy. That doesn't sound like you were broken up.

I didn't mean to sound so harsh in my post. I just think you are rationalizing way too much at every turn. This particular issue just bugged me more than the others.

Please read what LittleBlueMonkeyMind has written and take it to heart. Good luck to you.
If someone doesn't talk to you for four months you are broken up. Unless they are being held captive somewhere that is.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« Love Economics and LDRs | Relationships | I can't stand my Sisters Boyfriend.... »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“ ^This is the better plan.. My experience has been that love usually comes along when you least expect it, and when your heart is open enough to let it in. If you try to put a set time table on when ... ” –  TheThinker

Join the “Transition from dating to relationship” discussion

“ As Ingy mentions ...he's good with the lines and multitasking relationships.. All anyone can say is: don't get played again...especially by the same guy twice... Move on to someone who is decisive ... ” –  lynntlb78

Join the “Reuniting with EX” discussion

“This varies based on your age, gender, location, settings, and 29 dimensions. My settings are fairly narrow and I've always gotten a steady stream of matches. But, my location seems to have a lot ... ” –  dmi

Join the “Different Strategy” discussion

“I'm extremely allergic to cats, plus I just don't like 'em. So I won't date someone with cats. Dogs, I love. But I'm attracted to certain types of dogs. A guy with a little yorkie turns me off. ... ” –  ZisaGirl

Join the “What about a "PET BOX" ?? again this sounds simple or??” discussion

“If you get the opportunity, yes.” –  ThePriestess

Join the “Should I ever date in college?” discussion

“...and since you're Shaun Cassidy fan mitchell...this song is just for you! "Da Doo Ron Ron" I met her on a Monday And my heart stood still Da doo ron ron ron Da doo ron ron Somebody told me That ... ” –  legend29

Join the “Robin Gibbs Dead at 62...How Deep is Your Love?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 9:36am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0