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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #1  June 2,2008, 6:10pm
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I forgot that I even posted this thread over a year ago. Some of the responses? Incredibly harsh. I was pretty shocked at a few that were also phenomenally presumptuous.

I just want to add this (without bumping this thread!):

I married a man that was all of the things that I said, but was also highly educated, intelligent, very stable in his employment (I think he had been there for 15 years or so when I met him) and a great father to his kids. As far as I am concerned, he could very easily have been most anyone that posts on these forums. For anyone to even suggest that I have issues that require therapy because I thought that he was as changed a person as he professed to be is beyond the realm of reasonable as far as I am concerned.

And besides that, Elizabeth Taylor has been married 5 times. lol (its a joke)
Last edited by Nanette; August 4,2009 at 10:37pm.
 
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Im So Money is offline Im So Money Post #2  June 6,2008, 12:39am
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This is his FIFTH marriage? I hate to be so harsh, because I realize you got into this with all seriousness and good intentions... but did you think the fifth time around he would have learned how to be a husband? Walk away from this one.
 
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bluegrass is offline bluegrass Post #3  June 6,2008, 4:37am
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I think two people should try and save a marriage if it's possible and both are willing to try and do that. Obviously your husband isn't willing to do that. The fact he's been married so many times demonstrates his feelings towards marriage most likely. Don't waste any more time trying to hold onto something that just isn't there. Allow yourself to move onto something that can truly bring happiness to your life. Prayers for your pain and loss.
 
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2ndsojourn is offline 2ndsojourn Post #4  June 6,2008, 5:19am

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Didn't 'yall hear....?? The fifth time's a charm !
 
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Jevon is offline Jevon Post #5  June 6,2008, 5:37am
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Nanette, wrote :

Hi everyone


*


My ex husband and I met on eharmony a little over 2 years ago. We married fairly quickly, and he just divorced me in January of this year. We are both born-again Christians


There were no biblical grounds for divorce. I refused to sign the divorce papers because of this. I believe that we were at a critical juncture in the relationship. Marriage is difficult and it takes time to adjust to the other person.


I can't really go into all of the details, but as of right now there is no communication at all from him. I have been praying for us as a couple, but i am not sure whether or not I should wait around for him to come around or just move on.


I DO NOT take marriage lightly. It was my first marriage and his fifth. I am thinking that he is just not capable of making a commitment to anyone. I feel for him. He had a horrible childhood (yes, I know this is no excuse) and I still consider him a friend, but its almost as if he thinks that someone that would stick with him must not be worth much.


He goes back and forth a lot on his feelings. One month he says he misses me and wants to see me, the next there is no contact at all.


I am laboring this decision because once I move on thats it. I am done and I will never ever look back. Ever.


*
Without providing more information about this person, yourself, your relationship and the things which lead to the breakup, you're not going to get anything other than the trite advice, varying in length and complexity, you've received thus far. As it stands it seems like you've already made your decision and are just seeking validation from a group who is least likely to provide you with quality feedback tailored to your situation, or which scrutinizes your own behavior.
 
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greendot is offline greendot Post #6  June 6,2008, 5:49am
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I am sorry and I am with another poster, I too don't want to seem harsh but to me it would be a major red flag. Really what were you thinking? Especially saying you are a Christian. Also why would EH even let him be a member after that many marriages?
 
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kim9610 is offline kim9610 Post #7  June 6,2008, 6:06am
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Im So Money,133440 wrote :

This is his FIFTH marriage? I hate to be so harsh, because I realize you got into this with all seriousness and good intentions... but did you think the fifth time around he would have learned how to be a husband? Walk away from this one.
OOooooohhhhh... Fifth marriage?!


Marriage obviously does not mean the same thing to him as it means to you. Sorry!
 
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tishsuz is offline tishsuz Post #8  June 6,2008, 9:58am
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I would have seen the big red flag after the 4th marriage, but what is done is done. You are not obligated to this man in a biblical sense, since he is the one who will not fulfill his obligation. As hard as it will be, you need to move on and find someone who will take you and marriage seriously.
 
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hazmat is offline hazmat Post #9  June 6,2008, 10:03am
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Need to borrow an ink pen ?
 
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JHerndon is offline JHerndon Post #10  June 6,2008, 10:16am
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Well Biblically if he abandoned the marriage you have a right to move past it and seek another husband. Remember Nanette that whatever his words speak actions show a persons heart. He can say anything under the sun but unless he accepts you as a wife and performs his duties as a husband he is not being faithful in his covenant before God.


The truth is, the Lord is the only one who can change his heart, and the Lord is the only one who can bring him back. I'd pray and listen to what the Lord tells you. Remember that when it comes to emotion: There is a way in a mans heart that is right, but in the end it leads to destruction.
 
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