Staying friends with matches when in committed relationship


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Monica1 is offline Monica1 Post #1  June 12,2010, 10:43am

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In the "Dating multiple people at once" thread on the dating board I had posted an additional question based on the topic and thought starting a new thread would be a good idea. It went something like this:

What about those matches that you've gotten to know online and would like to truly stay friends with? Is that appropriate? Is that a threat to a committed relationship being that you met with intention to possibly date and ended up becoming friends?

Of course there must be certain boundaries with friendships with the opposite sex when in a committed relationship. Just wondering what people think about what I said above.
 
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AndieIsMe is online now AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #2  June 12,2010, 10:53am
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I see no problem with staying friends with people you've met through an e-dating site.

But, that goes to say everyone has a good head on their shoulders and won't become all jealous and whatnot.
 
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Sassafras54 is online now Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #3  June 12,2010, 11:05am
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I don't see it as any different from being friends with people you might have dated that you met offline.

As long as everyone involved knows what's what and keeps boundaries, it could work I think.

OTOH ... if you have just recently started dating someone, and they're getting inundated with stories of the last 10 people you met via EH that you're now just-friends with ... that probably will not go over well!
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #4  June 12,2010, 11:13am
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In my experience, and the people of my generation using online dating, remaining a friend with an ex-partner is very rare.

So, I would find it weird if someone made reference to their "friends" from a dating site.

In my opinion, to the extent you need to refer to opposite sex friends (especially available, ostensibly conpatible, opposite sex friends), that you not say anything at all about how you first met.
 
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Alli824 is online now Alli824 — Advice Member-Moderator Post #5  June 12,2010, 11:51am
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There are several people that I've dated that I just wouldn't work well with in a relationship. While my intent is not to find friends on line or turn romantic prospects into friends, (I have plenty,) we both agreed that we were quality people and have continued to stay in touch. One man I have known for a year. We speak every day, sometimes twice a day, see each other at least once on the weekend, and have even vacationed together. We are not intimate, nor have ever been intimate - not even a kiss. I've been up front with him that once I'm in a committed relationship the vacationing and time spent together will be curtailed. At this point, I have a pleasant and attractive dinner companion, and conversationalist, and he feels the same. While the romantic spark is not there a comfortable friendship has developed.
 
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