tazzy62 is offline tazzy62 Post #1  March 20,2010, 11:01pm
tazzy62's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Dec 2009

Posts: 19

See profile

So i have posted before about some situations with my bf that some of you seem to keep track of everytime i post. We finally broke up and its been the hardest thing for me. He was selfish but i loved him so much he was more then just a bf i want him back, And idk what to do. He broke up with me but yet it was mutual i felt like i can't force him to be with me if he didnt want to. and if he needed space but i cant take the feeling. We were together for over a year but everything i do reminds me of him. And alot of his friends became my friends and they still want to hang out. And it hurts sooooooo much. I havent really spoken to him because i know talking to him will hurt more but i wish i knew how he was doing if he was hurting like me. Idk what to do. idk
 
  Reply With Quote
robv_la is offline robv_la Post #2  March 21,2010, 1:35am
robv_la's Avatar

Looking forward to another snow season

Veteran

Joined: Aug 2008

Long Beach, CA

Posts: 1,333

See profile

Emotionally you have to face it completely, that it's over between you two. You have to allow your heart to fully let go of all the feelings you had towards him, good and bad. This takes time, but each day it becomes easier. In the end you will realize how selfish he was and how you are better off without him. Then you will find someone that will treat you better.
 
  Reply With Quote
computerfox is offline computerfox Post #3  March 21,2010, 9:49am
computerfox's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Mar 2010

Posts: 51

See profile

I am so sorry to hear about your break up, but with time you will start to move on. Again it will take some time. Right now concentrate on you and taking care of yourself. Surround yourself with positive people and friends that you can talk to.

In my experience I have found that still talking to an ex soon after a break up makes it more painful and harder to get over. I know it's tempting, but don't contact him at all costs. I know things will look up eventually, but for now here's a hug. *hug*
 
  Reply With Quote
Nanette is offline Nanette Post #4  March 21,2010, 10:04am
Nanette's Avatar

~ giving gentle smack-downs... vewy vewy gentle

Power Poster

Joined: Jun 2008

Posts: 7,451

See profile

tazzy62 wrote :
So i have posted before about some situations with my bf that some of you seem to keep track of everytime i post. We finally broke up and its been the hardest thing for me. He was selfish but i loved him so much he was more then just a bf i want him back, And idk what to do. He broke up with me but yet it was mutual i felt like i can't force him to be with me if he didnt want to. and if he needed space but i cant take the feeling. We were together for over a year but everything i do reminds me of him. And alot of his friends became my friends and they still want to hang out. And it hurts sooooooo much. I havent really spoken to him because i know talking to him will hurt more but i wish i knew how he was doing if he was hurting like me. Idk what to do. idk
Really, I would take "him" out of your life completely, including whether or not he is "hurting" like you are.

I remember feeling like this over guys and it stinks. Time really does help. Age helps it too.

It won't feel like this forever.

Get busy with things that you like to do. I know it's so much easier said than done, but just keep reminding yourself that time will help this. And I promise you you will not want to be kicking yourself later for all of the time that you spent grieving this relationship that you can never get back. I know people loathe this cliche but life is short. I wish I could get back half the time I spent being bummed over some guy that probably didn't even give me a second thought.
 
  Reply With Quote
Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #5  March 21,2010, 10:19am
Wonderwoman40…'s Avatar

L'Chayim!

Virtuoso

Joined: Jan 2009

Omaha, NE

Posts: 4,495

See profile

Don't contact him! This wasn't "mutual," he broke up with you. He really broke up with you when he asked for the "break."

You need to get angry. Realize you deserve to be treated better than he treated you.

There are stages to grief that apply when a break up occurs, too. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance. The stages don't usually occur in lineal order, they overlap and you may visit one stage many times before being able to move on. I see signs of Denial and Bargaining in your post.

Grief is something you have to go through to get over. Let yourself have time to mourn the end of this relationship, but keep in mind the Universe has something better in store for you.
 
  Reply With Quote
theprincessbride is offline theprincessbride Post #6  March 21,2010, 12:06pm
theprincessbr…'s Avatar

is happy.

Quick Study

Joined: Mar 2010

Here not there

Posts: 195

See profile

tazzy62 wrote :
So i have posted before about some situations with my bf that some of you seem to keep track of everytime i post. We finally broke up and its been the hardest thing for me. He was selfish but i loved him so much he was more then just a bf i want him back, And idk what to do. He broke up with me but yet it was mutual i felt like i can't force him to be with me if he didnt want to. and if he needed space but i cant take the feeling. We were together for over a year but everything i do reminds me of him. And alot of his friends became my friends and they still want to hang out. And it hurts sooooooo much. I havent really spoken to him because i know talking to him will hurt more but i wish i knew how he was doing if he was hurting like me. Idk what to do. idk
What you are going through SUCKS. But it's part of life. The easiest way to move on -- and you should -- is to find a REPLACEMENT; that is, the next "one" who will fill the void left in your heart. Time will cure most things... but it takes time to do so. You need to find "someone else" to connect with, even if it is just "being friends" first. Good luck!
 
  Reply With Quote
mrflyer is offline mrflyer Post #7  March 21,2010, 12:10pm
mrflyer's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Dec 2009

my computer

Posts: 2,948

See profile

So men aren't allowed to break up with women? Interesting.
 
  Reply With Quote
Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #8  March 21,2010, 1:32pm
Wonderwoman40…'s Avatar

L'Chayim!

Virtuoso

Joined: Jan 2009

Omaha, NE

Posts: 4,495

See profile

mrflyer wrote :
So men aren't allowed to break up with women? Interesting.
How on earth do you take that comment away from reading this?!??
 
  Reply With Quote
trixie1868 is offline trixie1868 Post #9  March 21,2010, 1:42pm

what the bejeezus is going on round here?!

Virtuoso

Joined: Aug 2009

London

Posts: 4,703

See profile

mrflyer wrote :
So men aren't allowed to break up with women? Interesting.
Could this be passed as a law or something? Because I'd be very much behind it.

In the meantime, Lucinda Williams has it covered.

YouTube - Lucinda Williams - Overtime (live).

It does hurt. Cry a bit, get it out of your system. Then try to move on. No short cuts or words that can take the hurt away.
 
  Reply With Quote
beautifulgenius is offline beautifulgenius Post #10  March 21,2010, 4:11pm
beautifulgeni…'s Avatar

Celebrating life without regrets...

Veteran

Joined: Nov 2008

Albany, Oregon

Posts: 1,357

See profile

You have to do other things that don't remind you of him. You can't keep going back to the same routines as you did before, all that does is keep the wounds open. I know it's hard to forget about someone who has meant the world to you, but you will find someone else in due time. Take a vacation if you can, go see your parents, do something that is totally something new, like rock climbing sign up for a class, meet new people. Just do something, before this drives you crazy...

Take care

BG
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« Was I to Harsh | Relationships | Am I In the Wrong? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Best Break Up Songs of All Time! justme27 Music 128 February 9,2012 7:07am
After the Break Up: Beware of the Rapid Rebound Monica1 Dating 24 June 5,2011 10:26pm
I guess the best way to get over a break up is....... RoxyRedhead Love in the Fast Lane 9 January 23,2010 10:59pm
What does "taking a break from dating" mean? qt_py Dating 25 January 10,2010 12:12pm
How do you break up with a really nice guy? missy2u2002 Relationships 46 October 1,2009 7:59pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“ ^This is the better plan.. My experience has been that love usually comes along when you least expect it, and when your heart is open enough to let it in. If you try to put a set time table on when ... ” –  TheThinker

Join the “Transition from dating to relationship” discussion

“ As Ingy mentions ...he's good with the lines and multitasking relationships.. All anyone can say is: don't get played again...especially by the same guy twice... Move on to someone who is decisive ... ” –  lynntlb78

Join the “Reuniting with EX” discussion

“This varies based on your age, gender, location, settings, and 29 dimensions. My settings are fairly narrow and I've always gotten a steady stream of matches. But, my location seems to have a lot ... ” –  dmi

Join the “Different Strategy” discussion

“I'm extremely allergic to cats, plus I just don't like 'em. So I won't date someone with cats. Dogs, I love. But I'm attracted to certain types of dogs. A guy with a little yorkie turns me off. ... ” –  ZisaGirl

Join the “What about a "PET BOX" ?? again this sounds simple or??” discussion

“If you get the opportunity, yes.” –  ThePriestess

Join the “Should I ever date in college?” discussion

“...and since you're Shaun Cassidy fan mitchell...this song is just for you! "Da Doo Ron Ron" I met her on a Monday And my heart stood still Da doo ron ron ron Da doo ron ron Somebody told me That ... ” –  legend29

Join the “Robin Gibbs Dead at 62...How Deep is Your Love?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 9:28am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0