Becoming more than friends and online dating


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BikerBeagle is offline BikerBeagle Post #11  March 18,2010, 5:42pm
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thinks everyone should just ask themselves, WWBBD?

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I'm sorry, but ...no ...guys aren't that complicated.

If he's looking for someone else online, rather than making a *real* move on what he *has* to see is right in front of him ...then he's just not that into you as anything more than a friend.
 
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ThePriestess is online now ThePriestess Post #12  March 18,2010, 6:00pm
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It's OK, Nanette ... you were probably just projecting your own desires =)
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #13  March 18,2010, 6:17pm
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wittykitty is offline wittykitty Post #14  March 18,2010, 6:19pm
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I tend to agree with BikerB, I'm afraid. Men are far less complicated and probably more forward than women in such matters. The recent events might have stirred up your emotions and now you expect more but it might have had the opposite effect on your guy, judging from his avoidant behavior. But, of course, I might be wrong. Is he a passive kind of guy?
 
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penpen2 is offline penpen2 Post #15  March 18,2010, 8:10pm
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Nanette wrote :
I find that most guys in their 20s are really sweet and open. They are easy to befriend and like to talk. I find this to be true for guys up until maybe their early 30s and it starts to decline.

I wouldn't take the attention and "chemistry" or how well you get along with a young guy very seriously. I wouldn't consider the kissing or whatever very significant, and I wouldn't pursue anything romantic with him, to be honest.

So true.

Yeah, doesn't apply here, but thanks!
 
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Sassafras54 is online now Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #16  March 18,2010, 8:55pm
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I agree with BikerB in general but you can't really apply generalizations to an individual. This guy could be different.

It seems premature to worry about whether to ask him if he's dating someone else, since you haven't established he wants to date you.

If you do find out he wants to date, then The Exclusivity Talk could happen, right?

Good luck!
 
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janettajayne is offline janettajayne Post #17  March 19,2010, 3:50am
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wittykitty wrote :
Is he a passive kind of guy?
With women, yes, at least for the most part. He's a big flirt but never really acts on any of it. He's even told me that before and that's been my observation. He says he wants a woman who knows what she wants and is willing to do what it takes to get it. I'm just afraid I haven't done that, even though I know exactly what I want. There's been things he's done that would make you think we were dating and that he wanted that kind of relationship and I just shrugged them off. (Why? I'm not sure. I guess I just didn't want to read too far into anything.) Now, he's losing interest and why not because as it stands right now our relationship isn't going anywhere.

Sassafras54 wrote :
It seems premature to worry about whether to ask him if he's dating someone else, since you haven't established he wants to date you.
Good point.
 
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janettajayne is offline janettajayne Post #18  March 20,2010, 4:02pm
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So I've thought about this some more. I'm not going to say anything about him seeing anyone else. However, do I tell him that I know he was a profile on the dating site or no? I have a profile too and I have no problem telling him I do, but should I? I don't really want to but I can see this becoming a problem and/or a trust issue.
 
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brainsandbeauty is offline brainsandbeauty Post #19  March 20,2010, 4:11pm
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If after two and a half months: you're acting like bf and gf- you need to make a decision. Because it will screw up dating/meeting someone for both of you if you stay in limbo.

I would NOT ask him if he has met someone. That's going to hurt if he did and he may feel cornered.

Rather, ask him where he thinks it's going. He'll either say 'no where', try to string you along longer, or get serious with you and commit.

You're friendship ended awhile ago, don't expect it to be the same again.

Good luck.
 
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