Hurt and Confused

I have been with the father of my three younger children for about 6 years. The entire time we've been together has been one lie after another. The most significant lies are about other women. He has
cheated probably the whole time we've been together. I know he's still doing it but when I confront him of course he lies. I tell him its over and I tell him to go be with whatever it is he's looking for. He won't leave. I feel like I'm just a safety net for him. Just someone to fall back on when his flings are over. Other than the confrontations we don't talk about anything! He don't know what it's doing to me or maybe he knows but just don't care. When he asks if I'm crying I'll tell him no. I'm afraid to tell him how I'm really feeling because if he knows what hurts me he'll do things to hurt me on purpose. I love him with all of my heart but it's killing me to think I'll never be what he really wants. He comes home and plays house and we do have an active sex life. I just feel like its all a lie! So to get even I find myself flirting more, giving out my number to other guys, talking to other men as if I am single. But I only do it because he's doing it. If he could be faithful I'd never even look at another man. I guess I just want him to feel the pain I'm feeling hoping it will make him stop cheating. But like everything else he could care less. He gets mad at me when he finds numbers in my phone and we argue. I've told him I only do it because he does it, but he still won't stop what he's doing. I'd like some advice on whether I should fight for the man that I love or just let go. And how do I let go? I don't want to hurt no more!

I have been with the father of my three younger children for about 6 years. The entire time we've been together has been one lie after another. The most significant lies are about other women. He has
cheated probably the whole time we've been together. I know he's still doing it but when I confront him of course he lies. I tell him its over and I tell him to go be with whatever it is he's looking for. He won't leave. I feel like I'm just a safety net for him. Just someone to fall back on when his flings are over. Other than the confrontations we don't talk about anything! He don't know what it's doing to me or maybe he knows but just don't care. When he asks if I'm crying I'll tell him no. I'm afraid to tell him how I'm really feeling because if he knows what hurts me he'll do things to hurt me on purpose. I love him with all of my heart but it's killing me to think I'll never be what he really wants. He comes home and plays house and we do have an active sex life. I just feel like its all a lie! So to get even I find myself flirting more, giving out my number to other guys, talking to other men as if I am single. But I only do it because he's doing it. If he could be faithful I'd never even look at another man. I guess I just want him to feel the pain I'm feeling hoping it will make him stop cheating. But like everything else he could care less. He gets mad at me when he finds numbers in my phone and we argue. I've told him I only do it because he does it, but he still won't stop what he's doing. I'd like some advice on whether I should fight for the man that I love or just let go. And how do I let go? I don't want to hurt no more!

I have been with the father of my three younger children for about 6 years. The entire time we've been together has been one lie after another. The most significant lies are about other women. He has
cheated probably the whole time we've been together. I know he's still doing it but when I confront him of course he lies. I tell him its over and I tell him to go be with whatever it is he's looking for. He won't leave. I feel like I'm just a safety net for him. Just someone to fall back on when his flings are over. Other than the confrontations we don't talk about anything! He don't know what it's doing to me or maybe he knows but just don't care. When he asks if I'm crying I'll tell him no. I'm afraid to tell him how I'm really feeling because if he knows what hurts me he'll do things to hurt me on purpose. I love him with all of my heart but it's killing me to think I'll never be what he really wants. He comes home and plays house and we do have an active sex life. I just feel like its all a lie! So to get even I find myself flirting more, giving out my number to other guys, talking to other men as if I am single. But I only do it because he's doing it. If he could be faithful I'd never even look at another man. I guess I just want him to feel the pain I'm feeling hoping it will make him stop cheating. But like everything else he could care less. He gets mad at me when he finds numbers in my phone and we argue. I've told him I only do it because he does it, but he still won't stop what he's doing. I'd like some advice on whether I should fight for the man that I love or just let go. And how do I let go? I don't want to hurt no more!

FIrst of all, I am concerned for your health. If he is having unprotected sex with these women and then with you then you are at risk for who knows what. Has either of you been tested?

Second, if this has been going on the entire time you have been together then you never have had much of a relationship. I wonder why you feel the need to stay with a man that has never been faithful and that does things to hurt you ON PURPOSE. No one should have to deal with that and no one should allow someone else to treat them that way. Have you talked to a counselor? Have you tried to do couples counseling?

Third, the example being set for your children is unbelievably unhealthy. Their image of how partners should treat each other is not going to be good, no matter how hard you try to hide it. Please for their sake do SOMETHING to stop this ongoing misery. They deserve better too.

Fourth, STOP flirting with men and taking their numbers. Just because he is doing it is no excuse. Try to be a better person than that. What kind of person do you want to be? I think you should want to be someone that is no longer a victim and no longer reacts to what others do but instead finds the right thing for you. Becoming a cheater yourself doesn't seem to be the right choice.

I know I have been blunt but I don't want to just tell you what you want to hear. Please do right by yourself.

All the best to you and your children.