Bad Match or Just a Rough Patch?

Bad Match or Just a Rough Patch?

This discussion is based on an Advice article:
Bad Match or Just a Rough Patch?


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
LovLynn40 is offline LovLynn40 Post #71  August 16,2009, 3:32pm
LovLynn40's Avatar

Joined: Aug 2009

Queens

Posts: 1

See profile

I'm going through a very difficult time right now.  My fiancee and I separted 3 1/2 weeks ago - we were together for seven years.  We were not getting along for awhile.  We fought constantly, mainly b/c of the distance between us, we live six hours apart.  He wanted to be together fulltime but I kept putting it off for one reason or another.  We had a huge fight a few days before July 4th and we didn't talk for 4 weeks. He sent me 2 emails asking for the ring back, when I called him, he told me he moved on and was seeing someone else. I was crushed. I have yet to accept that he has moved on and is with someone else. I never thought he and I would be in this sitution. He has stopped all communication with me. How do I move on and forget that he is with someone else now. 
 
  Reply With Quote
sandyshores is offline sandyshores Post #72  January 25,2010, 7:12am
sandyshores's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jan 2010

Chilliwack B.C.

Posts: 2

See profile

All that is fine and dandy but the base for the whole thing comes down to this: if the work and pain is not worth the pleasure it is a waste of both your times and one of you has to be mature enought to end it to save both of you from a life time of pain.
If the work is hard going and stressful and is more than just occasional strife then it is too much. Such as a friend of mine said who just left a recent marriage. Everyday she felt like a salmon fight it's way up river and she was to tired to enjoy the relationship because it was like an never ending competition. She ended it --he was devastated and she is happy she is out of that stress.
Are you becomming a clone of the other person. Are you losing your identity. If you are and sturggling with that feeling and the other person is not listening to your cries of wanting to be your own person, then it is time to bail.
 
  Reply With Quote
HanceMayBiee is offline HanceMayBiee Post #73  April 22,2010, 9:22pm
HanceMayBiee's Avatar

wish good days arrive soon

Quick Study

Joined: Apr 2010

Miri, Malaysia

Posts: 69

See profile

It's a good article to wake everyone up from keep on stay in wrong relationship.
There's no point for you to keep staying at the same point while the other person is not there giving you support or ever work it out together. It's hard and cruel to face reality and truth, though you've throwing lots of efforts in it.
Wise friends, c'mon move on.  Good luck for those willing to work it out together.
 
  Reply With Quote
Kaspar11 is offline Kaspar11 Post #74  April 24,2010, 8:33am
Kaspar11's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Aug 2009

Posts: 13

See profile

darnit1022 wrote :
Boy, I guess I fit in this situation perfecly. I had been dating this wonderful woman for 7 months, I fell hard for her, harder than anyone else in my life. I am 47 and she 44. We were in love and around the holiday's I could sense a change. A friend of hers was dying, she had a huge exam to study for, a 16 year old son and a relationship with me and not to mention other daily stress. Well, she broke up with me the day before Valentines Day, OUCH !!! Two days later calls me and apologies went on for 3 hours on the phone not to mention her desire to give 100% to our relationship, wanted me to be her prince and grow old together. Less than 10 days later, the 'I love you's" stopped, the phone calls were infrequent and time together was none. I finally asked her, what did I say, do or is it something else? Her reply was she wanted to break up, be friends and because she wanted that feeling back like when we first dated and she wasn't. Since then, I have sent cards and emails, and I was instructed by her to not call, stop in at home or work. It's been three weeks now, it's getting better but I can't get her off my mind. I know I have to move on but those things she said, she doesn't sya what she means. I am so heartbroken, but I am eating, sleeping and being funny again. Come on, some pity for me????
I'm not sure if I can give you pity, but I can speak from recent experience. Sometimes, when people are dealing with a lot of stressors that are out of their control, they try and take away the things that are in their control, even if they are going well. It sounded like that's what she did there, changed her mind, then realized that she had done the relationship irreparable harm and ended it for good. I've been going through something similar with my girlfriend, but we both decided to deal with the stress by going in and talking to professionals to learn how to cope with the stress. We've also slowed things down some and not worried so much about "we should be here in the relationship". That's helped out a lot.

The other thing she said is that she wants the feeling back from when you guys first started dating. It's always tough when you move into that next phase of the relationship and it doesn't sound like she was ready to let go of the feelings from the first phase, where everything is new and wonderful. It's tough and it takes work from both sides. Lord knows that it's been stressful since we realized that we're in that phase, but we're working to get through it together. If she's not willing to work at it, and wants to cut you out of her life completely, that's her issue.

My advice is to stop chasing her and move on. If she decides to come back to you, then you can talk it through, but it's not worth stressing over.
 
  Reply With Quote
disneydancer76 is offline disneydancer76 Post #75  December 9,2010, 8:00am
disneydancer7…'s Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Dec 2010

San Diego

Posts: 9

See profile

OMG.....this is me! Ouch, I'm in the wrong relationship? I've been with him for a year. We fight a lot and I don't feel fulfilled in the relationship. When I'm not spending time with him and doing my daily tasks, I don't miss him. I just thought this was normal. More stressors come into my life when he and I spend too much time together.
I don't want to go back to the dating world in search of that mutually compatible person, crap...now what??
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« Do you stay friends with an ex that cheated on you? | Relationships | When Friends Get Jealous »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“ ^This is the better plan.. My experience has been that love usually comes along when you least expect it, and when your heart is open enough to let it in. If you try to put a set time table on when ... ” –  TheThinker

Join the “Transition from dating to relationship” discussion

“ As Ingy mentions ...he's good with the lines and multitasking relationships.. All anyone can say is: don't get played again...especially by the same guy twice... Move on to someone who is decisive ... ” –  lynntlb78

Join the “Reuniting with EX” discussion

“This varies based on your age, gender, location, settings, and 29 dimensions. My settings are fairly narrow and I've always gotten a steady stream of matches. But, my location seems to have a lot ... ” –  dmi

Join the “Different Strategy” discussion

“I'm extremely allergic to cats, plus I just don't like 'em. So I won't date someone with cats. Dogs, I love. But I'm attracted to certain types of dogs. A guy with a little yorkie turns me off. ... ” –  ZisaGirl

Join the “What about a "PET BOX" ?? again this sounds simple or??” discussion

“If you get the opportunity, yes.” –  ThePriestess

Join the “Should I ever date in college?” discussion

“...and since you're Shaun Cassidy fan mitchell...this song is just for you! "Da Doo Ron Ron" I met her on a Monday And my heart stood still Da doo ron ron ron Da doo ron ron Somebody told me That ... ” –  legend29

Join the “Robin Gibbs Dead at 62...How Deep is Your Love?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 9:21am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0