LizziePooh is offline LizziePooh Post #1  December 7,2009, 9:36pm

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Have you noticed some common denominators or patterns in relationships that make them successful or not? If so,...

Name one thing you have noticed that successful relationships have/do?

Name one thing you have noticed that unsuccessful relationships have/do?
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #2  December 7,2009, 9:49pm
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wrote :
Name one thing you have noticed that successful relationships have/do?
Compromise/Negotiation

wrote :
Name one thing you have noticed that unsuccessful relationships have/do?
having to be right all of the time/power struggles
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #3  December 7,2009, 10:11pm
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Name one thing you have noticed that successful relationships have/do? Respect---for me, Respect is key. I have to Respect the Man.

Name one thing you have noticed that unsuccessful relationships have/do? Contempt---no Respect, it's just a matter of time.

But that's just me.

j8a
Last edited by j0hn8andy; December 7,2009 at 10:12pm. Reason: I've also noticed alot of shadowy silhouettes running around, but that's for another whole thread someday!
 
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dahlimema is offline dahlimema Post #4  December 8,2009, 12:44am
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Successful= putting the same amount of effort in working towards you established goals .

Unsuccessful= One partner taking the other for granted.
 
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livinagin is offline livinagin Post #5  December 8,2009, 3:11am
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j0hn8andy wrote :
Name one thing you have noticed that successful relationships have/do? Respect---for me, Respect is key. I have to Respect the Man.

Name one thing you have noticed that unsuccessful relationships have/do? Contempt---no Respect, it's just a matter of time.

But that's just me.

j8a

Once the respect for each other is gone it is SO OVER!
 
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Mekel is offline Mekel Post #6  December 8,2009, 5:22am
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Success: being each others best friend.

Failure: being together simply to fill a void or a personal need or desire.
 
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justme27 is offline justme27 Post #7  December 8,2009, 5:53am
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I never quite understood this whole preoccupation with "respect." To me it seems people who don't respect themselves, try to look for that respect from others. I mean I don't care if someone respects me as long as they are courteous. To me being courteous is more important than respect.
 
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MelinCali is offline MelinCali Post #8  December 8,2009, 5:59am
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justme27 wrote :
I never quite understood this whole preoccupation with "respect." To me it seems people who don't respect themselves, try to look for that respect from others. I mean I don't care if someone respects me as long as they are courteous. To me being courteous is more important than respect.
Someone will be courteous to you because they are showing you respect. Respect comes from within---courtesy is merely how it is shown through a person's behavior.
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #9  December 8,2009, 6:11am
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justme27 wrote :
I never quite understood this whole preoccupation with "respect." To me it seems people who don't respect themselves, try to look for that respect from others. I mean I don't care if someone respects me as long as they are courteous. To me being courteous is more important than respect.
It's not a matter of paying respect. It's being Worthy of Respect.

But that's.....just me.

j8a
 
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geegirl79 is offline geegirl79 Post #10  December 8,2009, 6:56am
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LizziePooh wrote :
Have you noticed some common denominators or patterns in relationships that make them successful or not? If so,...

Name one thing you have noticed that successful relationships have/do?

Name one thing you have noticed that unsuccessful relationships have/do?
Take it slow and avoid casual sex at all cost. One thing I have noticed is that successful relationships generally move along at a slower pace. The ones wherein the couple use the words " I love you" too soon will move into a shaky place sooner than in the 'healthy' relationship where the love is based upon knowledge of each others strengths and weaknesses. Premature expression of love, including entering into the most private and sacred of physical unions, will deny the couple the chance to make meaningful memories to fall back on in order to help them through the testing time which every healthy couple experience.. Love takes time and anyone who is not willing to give it that time either has no clue about it, or is way too eager and just can't wait. Waiting or being able to wait for something good, the reward of persistence, diligence, selflessmess. If you really want to grow you've got to have an equal amount of time spent doing healthy things, and time without that person. Take it easy! is often difficult but absolutely essential in a successful relationship. No matter how close a couple feel, there will and should always come some time of testing or distancing, and the other partner needs to be able to recognize this and not freak out. Rec Recognize the natural ebb and flo of healthy relationships and realize that the other person NEEDS space. Avoid giving yourself away out side of marriage, or face the pain of rejection when the other person NEEDS to take a break. Healthy love allows for this thing and goes with it. The problem with the couples that are having sex and have given everything is that when the other seems to tire of her or him, and does not communicate what's going on, it will HURT more. They will experience deep pain of rejection.There's a bond and no promise to return. When couples have taken the time to really love and respect each other, they will choose to communicate when they need some space. The more you hold back and protect, the less hurt you will feel when the normal distancing occurs and the more likely, less pressured the 'distancer' will feel. Take it easy.Do the right thing by yourself. Take care of yourself.
 
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