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beautifulgenius beautifulgenius is offline
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beautifulgenius Life feels like it's getting complicated....

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jayjay wrote :
He'll be expecting that to happen eventually. At least, it's in the Man Handbook to expect a woman in this situation to start wanting more. Though, usually this is shown indirectly in ways such as wanting to spend more time together, communicating more frequently etc. That's when many guys will bail in such a situation.
True or not, that's exactly what's going to happen eventually anyways, he will bail and she will cry foul. That's why it's a good idea not to start something like this in the first place. But I've had experience to know some men will want more too, and half expect it as well. It's a very tricky situation. One that rarely works.
- November 20th, 2009, 03:49 pm
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beautifulgenius wrote :
True or not, that's exactly what's going to happen eventually anyways, he will bail and she will cry foul. That's why it's a good idea not to start something like this in the first place.
I absolutely agree.
- November 20th, 2009, 03:59 pm
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D_Lion D_Lion is online now
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
I am sure that a great many are going to disagree with me on this one but ........

It is unlikely that a purely sexual relationship is going to turn into an emotionally based committed long term relationship. This is a concept that women tend to believe or hope for.

It is unlikely that any relationship is going to turn into an emotionally based committed long term relationship.

What sex does is give a woman a greater chance to get there, when that was all she could come up with at the time.

For sure, I think she is better off being an adult and contributing and showing return interest - but they prefer to chose sex.
- November 20th, 2009, 06:19 pm
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trixie1868 trixie1868 is offline
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I rather fear with this thread that we are in danger of overlooking the fact that men do fall in love with women that they start off "just" having sex with. It is not always so but it does happen and with more regularity than we are acknowledging here.

The 'hormone' entrappment of women is not the beginning and end of sex only relationships.
- November 21st, 2009, 02:05 pm
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jayjay jayjay is offline
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trixie1868 wrote :
I rather fear with this thread that we are in danger of overlooking the fact that men do fall in love with women that they start off "just" having sex with. It is not always so but it does happen and with more regularity than we are acknowledging here.

The 'hormone' entrappment of women is not the beginning and end of sex only relationships.
I'm sure it happens, though I don't know with what regularity. Offhand I can't think of any men I know who have fallen in love with their bootycalls. The ones that come to mind that I know don't have much respect for and rather quickly tire of their bootycall women.
- November 21st, 2009, 02:16 pm
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Usually not. I was in a "relationship" like that and it didn't work out. The thing is that it hindered me to be open myself for any real relationship. It was good at the time, but I realized I wanted something more for myself. I feel your pain. I had to finish it cause he wasn't ready to do anything and I was very convenient for him. My advice: do what your mind tells you to do, have a talk with him and if he finishes it it wouldn't have worked anyway...but be prepared to lose him.
- November 21st, 2009, 03:29 pm
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nightling nightling is offline
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trixie1868 wrote :
I rather fear with this thread that we are in danger of overlooking the fact that men do fall in love with women that they start off "just" having sex with. It is not always so but it does happen and with more regularity than we are acknowledging here.

The 'hormone' entrappment of women is not the beginning and end of sex only relationships.
It does happen. In men, the hormone that contributes to this is vasopressin. In women it's oxytocin and it seems to be faster acting. Some men are more susceptible to this sort of bonding/attachment than others. /shrug

I think it's immaterial though to the situation. What's happening here is two people who didn't see each other as long-term material in the first place because there were too many deal-breakers are none-the-less building up an attachment to each other through sexual intimacy. When in their right minds, so to speak, they would never agree to any sort of commitment to each other. If she eventually gets the guy ... what is she getting? Even if he was her ideal guy and she slept with him hoping to catch him ... she was not his ideal girl from the get go.

This sort of thing just doesn't usually end well, even when it gets to the committed state.
Last edited by nightling; November 23rd, 2009 at 11:30 am.
- November 23rd, 2009, 09:45 am
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sacredmezzo sacredmezzo is offline
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I was in a similar situation friends with benefits. It worked well with us. We went out to do fun stuff when neither of us had dates. Give each other dating advice. Then I had the hairbrain notion to date him and he agreed. But we fought and nitpicked at each other. Had a huge fight. It wasn't going to end up in marriage. He won't even talk to me now. So not only did I lose the friends with benefits, I lost a friend as well. I should have left it alone.
- November 23rd, 2009, 04:08 pm
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trixie1868 trixie1868 is offline
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sacredmezzo wrote :
I was in a similar situation friends with benefits. It worked well with us. We went out to do fun stuff when neither of us had dates. Give each other dating advice. Then I had the hairbrain notion to date him and he agreed. But we fought and nitpicked at each other. Had a huge fight. It wasn't going to end up in marriage. He won't even talk to me now. So not only did I lose the friends with benefits, I lost a friend as well. I should have left it alone.
This of course happens a lot. Sad isn't it?
- November 23rd, 2009, 05:06 pm
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TiffanyDiamond TiffanyDiamond is offline
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
I am sure that a great many are going to disagree with me on this one but ........

It is unlikely that a purely sexual relationship is going to turn into an emotionally based committed long term relationship. This is a concept that women tend to believe or hope for.
I agree 100%. Among the people I know I have never seen any of them start our in a purely sexual relationship and have it end up in a real relationship. Never. That is why if I am interested in a man or even think there may be something there - I wait to get to know them very well before we get intimate. I don't want to be anybody's booty call no matter what. Been there, done that. Not fun! And I don't care what anyone says, most of the women I know tell me that they have a hard time separating their emotions from the sex and they end up wanting more....and not getting it.
- November 23rd, 2009, 05:26 pm
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