is it love or infatuation?


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paula2 is offline paula2 Post #1  November 19,2009, 10:51pm
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am I in love with this guy online? we chat more than a year but never met yet or is it just infatuation? is it stupid to fall in love with someone you never met in person yet?
 
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Andrea8823 is offline Andrea8823 Post #2  November 19,2009, 11:27pm
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i think it would be very hard to fall in love with someone who you've never even had any physical contact with. we as humans crave physical intimacy... it's necessary for any relationship
 
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ell is offline ell Post #3  November 20,2009, 7:54am
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I would not call you stupid.
Honestly you really won't know until you meet in person. Online relationships are mostly in your head, so, yes, that would be more infatuation.
 
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Dafearon is offline Dafearon Post #4  November 20,2009, 8:14am
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I like to say love begins when infatuation ends. But since you've never met this guy, I'm going to go with Infatuation.

Its not stupid to fall in love with someone you haven't met. But think about it from another perception. What exactly are you falling in love with? The person, or the idea of the person behind the words?
 
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GooRoo is offline GooRoo Post #5  November 20,2009, 8:59am
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Why a year?
 
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Mokkesofie is offline Mokkesofie Post #6  November 20,2009, 9:17am
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You have chatted for a year without meeting up? I would go for it's infatuation. You have a fantasy image of him and nothing to back up that he is what he says he is. I'm not saying he is not real and honest but he could be married with 8 children and writing to you as an escape from an unhappy or boring life. Meet up with him first, you might be pleasantly surprised and find what you hoped for or you might meet someone that is good with words but not what you hoped for in real life.
Good luck with it.
 
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Harvey7 is offline Harvey7 Post #7  November 20,2009, 1:04pm

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paula2 wrote :
am I in love with this guy online? we chat more than a year but never met yet or is it just infatuation? is it stupid to fall in love with someone you never met in person yet?
You are infatuated with idea of being in love. But you are not in love. You have an online friendship and nothing more and until you guys meet face to face and develop a hold me, touch me, kiss me relationship your just fooling yourself.

Harvey7.
 
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claire09 is offline claire09 Post #8  November 20,2009, 1:29pm
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paula2 wrote :
am I in love with this guy online? we chat more than a year but never met yet or is it just infatuation? is it stupid to fall in love with someone you never met in person yet?
One word. Yes and Yes.

WHen I meet men online I have a requirement that we speak on the phone a few times to get a feel for the real person, then we meet and date for a while to make sure we are compatible. Men are different in person than they are over the email, texting and even the phone. You get to know their idiosyncrasies, their faults, their moods, etc. When you have the comfort of a computer, that barrier allows him to be whomever he wants.

I have had many situations where over email the guy seemed marvelous but when we met he became a totally different person because he had no where to hide. Be very cautious and believe me, its not love its infatuation. You barely know if you love someone in person let alone across a computer.
 
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Fleuellen is offline Fleuellen Post #9  November 20,2009, 2:00pm
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love and infatuation are merely two sides of the same coin

but that said; you been cyber taling for a year and not met ... that isnt healthy ... you've develop a imaginary view of a person ... they will be / are much different. A pen freind yes. But go and date some real folk ... Now!
 
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PR_Princess is offline PR_Princess Post #10  November 20,2009, 5:18pm
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I would say that you love the idea of him. What you can get out of this situation is now it is a year later and you have a clearer idea of what it is you are looking for in a relationship and partner so study those communications and jot down some notes as it will give you better insight into yourself.

I don't know what the circumstances are surrounding this on-line "relationship" and other than the fact that he is stationed outside of the U.S. and will be coming back soon I also would consider this unhealthy and encourage you to meet people face to face as someone else here suggested.

My online "personality" is taller, thinner, smarter, sexier, classier and nicer (at least in my mind ) but that doesn't mean I am that way in real life. Not that I am a Hunch Back of Notre Dame or anything but when people speak to me over the phone or read my written work and then finally meet me I never fail to get that quizzical look. This is coming from a person who is very honest (you'll have to take my word on it) and a forthright communicator. So what does that tell you about a person who is not on the up and up.

IMHO...love is really a test of time (you get a better picture of a person interacting with them over time and different situations). Infatuation is just the spark that ignites it.
 
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