is it love or infatuation?


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krystal101 is offline krystal101 Post #11  November 25,2009, 10:41pm
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Do you at least do web cam? I once had a "relationship" start over the phone. The conversations lasted for hours and were great! I thought he was someone I could fall for. We finally went out in person-- well, he had really horrible eating manners and made some noises while eating that I had never heard before and never want to hear again, he was not a gentleman at all, he had crazy road rage for no reason, he was hanging all over me to where it was uncomfortable-- not just holding hands or touching me, but literally weighing me down and groping, he was extremely needy, he tried to make jokes out of everything, couldn't stop talking about sex... so different from when he was on the phone. My friend had an email/web cam "relationship" and when she finally met him, all the lies were revealed and he didn't live where he said he lived and didn't have the job he said he had... You just never know with people. some can write so beautifully but can't look you in the eye when talking to you. Go out with him and find out if it is love or not. It could be. Who knows?
 
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shellyg is offline shellyg Post #12  November 27,2009, 5:33am
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I wouldn't say it is stupid. I would say it is unrealistic and idealistic. You two should try and meet if you feel this way though.
 
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TheZohan is offline TheZohan Post #13  November 28,2009, 4:37pm
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The Zohan says - Infactuation and if this makes sense, you're feeling the excitement/anticipation of when you actually do meet them.

A few years after an ex girlfriend and I broke up (I had moved on but we were still friends), I found out she had taken on the official title of "girlfriend" with this other guy and the two had never met. Long story short, the two met after about 6 months of phone calls and e-mails and shortly after meeting (3 days), she dumped him.
 
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Cathy61 is offline Cathy61 Post #14  November 29,2009, 6:26pm
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When it comes to relationships, phone, online and mail don't count. The only thing that counts is the time you spend in person. So far you have not spent any time with him that counts.
 
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livenlearn is offline livenlearn Post #15  December 4,2009, 8:09am
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Think about this.
No matter what it is you have been tied up with this situation for a year. Could you maybe be missing out on the real thing? Has it maybe kept you from noticing or looking for someone else who is willing to actually go out on a real live date with you? In other words, are you ripping yourself off by allowing this going no where situation to continue?
 
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livinagin is offline livinagin Post #16  December 4,2009, 8:41am
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You have "email fantasy syndrome". . .

You don't even know this guy! I had a few emails back and forth with a guy about two hours away -- perhaps we emailed for a few weeks before deciding to meet. And then, at the last moment he decided to call me before we were to meet. Thank you, Lord. He sounded about 20 years older than his emails. Lots of "ah's" like he was thinking about what to say next. Literally drove me crazy in the matter of a one hour phone conversation. We agreed not to meet and never to email each other. lol

I, personally, like to meet after very few emails. I don't want anyone to get their own ideas about who I am. And I want to use all of my natural instincts when I meet -- not just let my fingers do the talking . . . .
Last edited by livinagin; December 4,2009 at 11:42am.
 
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melman is offline melman Post #17  December 4,2009, 2:28pm
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If you know all about "email fantasy syndrome", then why at you spending an hour on the phone? Or any time on the phone at all?

Meet. Then you'll know.
 
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livinagin is offline livinagin Post #18  December 4,2009, 3:34pm
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melman wrote :
If you know all about "email fantasy syndrome", then why at you spending an hour on the phone? Or any time on the phone at all?

Meet. Then you'll know.
Yes. I am there. That hour on the phone was about six months ago. Then I started cutting off the emails after just very few. What I discovered is that you don't have as many preconceptions about what the other person is like AND (most important) if the guy has no preconceptions about you he is more likely to show some of his true colors. You would have to hear about my date that lasted 10 minutes to understand that situation. It is on the thread in GTKY.
Last edited by livinagin; December 4,2009 at 11:42pm.
 
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TiffanyDiamond is offline TiffanyDiamond Post #19  December 4,2009, 5:28pm
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I also think it's infatuation. You sound like you are in love with the idea of being in love. You definitely need to meet, spend time together and see if there are any sparks. Since you have never met him you have no idea how he behaves in person, how he would treat you, if he practices good hygiene, how he behaves around other people. These are important things to know before you can say you are in love with someone.
 
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