supergirl220 is offline supergirl220 Post #1  November 15,2009, 8:07pm
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Our relationship lasted for 4 months. i meet my bf in middle school. on our last day of high school, he asked me if I liked him and I admitted to having feelings for him for a while. We didn’t start dating right away since he was going out of state for college but we kept in touch. He moved back after four months and five months later, we officially started dating. We only saw each other once a month for the first two months due to our schedules but were always in touch. On our last date, he talked about him not being hot or anyone special. When I told him that he was special to me, he held on to me and said “that’s all that matters right?” I held on to him even tighter and I knew that I was totally in love with him. Everything was perfect between us, or so I thought. Six days after that day, he asks me why is it that I care about him. After telling him exactly how I felt about him, pouring my heat out, he throws it back in my face and tells me that he wished he felt the same but he’s found someone else and he’s really liking her so I needed to forget the heck about him and move. Those words tore me apart. I avoided human contact for almost two weeks. Not only did I lose my lover, I lost a good friend. I tried to at least keep our friendship since we knew each other for so long, but it failed. I later found out that he felt that he did nothing wrong to me and it was my fault for not seeing his warning signs. It’s been almost two months since then and I’m not sure where I go from here.
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #2  November 15,2009, 8:58pm
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Hey SuperGirl.... take it from WonderWoman... Time is your friend. You need some time to heal. To get over a broken heart, the only way out is through it. Feel the pain, let it wash over you, then let it wash away. Do not wallow in it, but feel it then let it go.

Not every love lasts a lifetime. It seems your guy was pretty lacking in the sensitivity department. It takes a man to be able to say kindly that you're a great woman but he's just not feeling it. It takes a coward to do what he did... lead you on, deny, then turn it back around on you and blame you for not reading his "warning signs." I know you don't feel it now, but you are lucky that he's revealed himself so clearly to you at this early stage. You would not want to live your life with a guy with a personality trait like that. By leaving you he has done you a favor... he has left you free to find someone who really does love you and cares about you.

So where do you go from here? You live your life in such a way that anyone (male or female) would want to know you. You do right by yourself. Are you taking classes, or working? Get out there and socialize with fellow students and/or coworkers. Make new post-high school friends. Expand your social circle. Enjoy being young while your responsibilities are relatively few.

And then, when the pain recedes enough so that you no longer feel as if there's a dagger in your heart... you climb right back in the saddle. You accept a date with that guy who sits next to you in class, or your coworker's available brother.... You make yourself available, and you'll open your heart again. You'll know when the time comes that you're ready.

Bur for right now... while you're still hurting.... here's a ((((hug)))).
 
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indigirl1975 is offline indigirl1975 Post #3  November 16,2009, 4:34am
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Well...Wonderwoman is right, you just have to hurt right now. I know it is not fair that you had an open heart and he crushed it but you are the only one that can heal it. He is gone now and that means a new start. You have to do that for yourself...just sit with the pain awhile and one day you will start to feel better. It is a hard thing to go through, but you can do it!
 
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Harvey7 is offline Harvey7 Post #4  November 18,2009, 8:41am

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I could not say it any better then Wonderwoman and expressed it with sensitivity as well. A lesson that will make you stronger in the future, let someone prove that they are trust worthy before you open your inner thoughts and feeling to them.

Harvey7.
 
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richey is offline richey Post #5  November 26,2009, 3:29pm
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Wonderwoman402 wrote :
Hey SuperGirl.... take it from WonderWoman...
hahahaha.. that was cute.

Richey
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #6  November 26,2009, 6:44pm
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supergirl220 wrote :
Our relationship lasted for 4 months. i meet my bf in middle school. on our last day of high school, he asked me if I liked him and I admitted to having feelings for him for a while. We didn’t start dating right away since he was going out of state for college but we kept in touch. He moved back after four months and five months later, we officially started dating. We only saw each other once a month for the first two months due to our schedules but were always in touch. On our last date, he talked about him not being hot or anyone special. When I told him that he was special to me, he held on to me and said “that’s all that matters right?” I held on to him even tighter and I knew that I was totally in love with him. Everything was perfect between us, or so I thought. Six days after that day, he asks me why is it that I care about him. After telling him exactly how I felt about him, pouring my heat out, he throws it back in my face and tells me that he wished he felt the same but he’s found someone else and he’s really liking her so I needed to forget the heck about him and move. Those words tore me apart. I avoided human contact for almost two weeks. Not only did I lose my lover, I lost a good friend. I tried to at least keep our friendship since we knew each other for so long, but it failed. I later found out that he felt that he did nothing wrong to me and it was my fault for not seeing his warning signs. It’s been almost two months since then and I’m not sure where I go from here.

His lack of empathy for you was astonishing, sweetie. Wonderwoman is right. He has done you an enormous favor by showing you his true self. You may not see it as such now, but that is a gift. You won't waste 25 years of your life with someone unworthy of your love who would perhaps have simply dumped you for a younger prettier girl way on down the line.

All those things wonderwoman said to do, I agree with. Build yourself a satisfying life with or without a partner, and when the time comes you will find someone who is just right for you, someone with a lot more kindness who genuinely cares about you.

(((((((((((((((((((((((hug)))))))))))))))))))))))
 
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