If you could change one thing about "relationships"....


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eHA_Admin_Lori is offline eHA_Admin_Lori — Advice Official Moderator Post #1  November 13,2009, 2:02pm
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If you had the power to change one thing about the "nature of relationships", or things people do in relationships -- etc. -- what would you choose to change.

What do you think would be the result of your intervention?
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  November 13,2009, 2:15pm
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The biggest issue I've had is outside factors intruding which a relationship just can't survice - economic inadequacy and stress, employment and education dislocations, other family concerns, legal concerns which make people reluctant, and the prevelence of obesity in society.

I think reducing these factors would encourage initial relationship formation, and reduce the rate of failure.
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #3  November 13,2009, 5:23pm

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eHA_Admin_Lori wrote :
If you had the power to change one thing about the "nature of relationships", or things people do in relationships -- etc. -- what would you choose to change.

What do you think would be the result of your intervention?
Maturity to handle past baggage.
No games.
 
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brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel Post #4  November 13,2009, 5:43pm
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would very much appreciate it if the rain would stop, now! Thanks!

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I know you said one thing, but I'm adding two because I think they go hand in hand.

Directness and honesty.

I think too many people avoid things that might be uncomfortable and aren't honest when it matters the most. If you can't be direct and honest in a relationship, then what's the point?
 
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Kinjia is offline Kinjia Post #5  November 13,2009, 6:15pm
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PY_2 wrote :
Maturity to handle past baggage.
No games.
I wanted to say something about expectations because we seem so quick to dismiss one another... but I think this is exactly what I was thinking about, PY. Thanks.
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #6  November 14,2009, 8:11am
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I would require everyone to go through all 4 seasons together before making a commitment. Spring, summer, fall, winter.

Result? Not having to hear people say "If I'd known who he really was I wouldn't have married him." Not having so many babies made on short acquaintance, who then have parents who hate each other.
 
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Mokkesofie is offline Mokkesofie Post #7  November 14,2009, 8:28am
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Communication is the key word.
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #8  November 14,2009, 9:25am

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Kinjia wrote :
I wanted to say something about expectations because we seem so quick to dismiss one another... but I think this is exactly what I was thinking about, PY. Thanks.
Actually expectation is good too.

You just inspired me to write another one: Don't expect perfection, especially if you ain't all that and a bag of chips yoself.

*by the way...go back to Everything Else forum and create more short stories!*
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #9  November 14,2009, 9:26am

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Sassafras54 wrote :
I would require everyone to go through all 4 seasons together before making a commitment. Spring, summer, fall, winter.

Result? Not having to hear people say "If I'd known who he really was I wouldn't have married him." Not having so many babies made on short acquaintance, who then have parents who hate each other.
This is a very good idea actually...then you can see them go through stress of holidays, family parties, etc.
 
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beautifulgenius is offline beautifulgenius Post #10  November 14,2009, 3:44pm
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Pretty sure that this has already been brought up, but mind games really bother me. I know a relationship red flag is when you have one person or maybe even both, trying to figure the other one out. You really shouldn't have to figure anything out. Just be honest and then keep it that way. You avoid a lot of deductive reasoning and doubts. We have enough things to think about as it is.
 
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