Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Relationships Relationships: they have their ups and their downs. Share your joy or weather the storm in this discussion board.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
eHA_Admin_Lori's Avatar

eHA_Admin_Lori Welcome to eHA! :-)

Moderator

Join Date: Nov 2008

Posts: 2,068

See profile

Video: Rihanna Breaks Her Silence! (Tears Up On When Speaking On Chris Brown Hitting Her)

I found this excerpt from the interview with Rhianna to be really interesting in particularly one respect:

-She blames herself for her situation, for "falling in love with that kind of person". I'd actually never heard a victim articulate that specifically -- I've heard them say they egged their abuser on, etc. (often convinced of that by the abuser), but never that they blamed themselves for falling in love.

Do you think many victims feel that way? If so is that part of why they stay in these abusive relationships far too long, often with deadly consequences?

Overall, do you think Rhianna's speaking out will have a much-needed impact on women currently living in a violent household?

Last edited by eHA_Admin_Lori; November 5th, 2009 at 04:00 pm.
- November 5th, 2009, 02:01 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#1   Reply With Quote
eHA_Admin_Lori's Avatar

eHA_Admin_Lori Welcome to eHA! :-)

Moderator

Join Date: Nov 2008

Posts: 2,068

See profile

Oops, forgot to add a link to an article about this as well:

Rihanna speaks: 'Love is so blind' - CNN.com
- November 5th, 2009, 02:02 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#2   Reply With Quote
Dugl's Avatar

Dugl - Experience...it allows you to recognize a mistake when you make it again

Pacesetter

Join Date: Sep 2009

Posts: 350

See profile

Overall, do you think Rhianna's speaking out will have a much-needed impact on women currently living in a violent household?
No....there are psychological issues involved that cannot be cured by a suggestion from a pop singer. If it were that easy....siblings, parents and friends of victims would be eligible for Sainthood.
- November 5th, 2009, 04:13 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#3   Reply With Quote
D_Lion's Avatar

D_Lion - Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Join Date: Aug 2008

Posts: 10,914

See profile

Any and every two-party dynamic involves two parties.

It appears to be settled data that some persons choose to date aggressive / assaultive persons repetitively, implying a preference for such persons.
- November 5th, 2009, 04:31 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#4   Reply With Quote
melman's Avatar

Enthusiast

Join Date: Aug 2009

Posts: 943

See profile

I have absolutely no idea who this is.
- November 5th, 2009, 05:00 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#5   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

tweet37's Avatar

tweet37 has all the tools and can.....satisfy.

Virtuoso

Join Date: Sep 2008

Posts: 3,226

See profile

Yeah...what's a Rhianna?
- November 5th, 2009, 07:01 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#6   Reply With Quote
D_Lion's Avatar

D_Lion - Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Join Date: Aug 2008

Posts: 10,914

See profile

A celebrity, I think.
- November 5th, 2009, 07:05 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#7   Reply With Quote
Bluemay2's Avatar

Quick Study

Join Date: Aug 2009

Posts: 76

See profile

A young singer (20ish). The ex-boyfriend is also a singer. The incident happened this past February one night before the Grammys. They were both scheduled to attend and/or perform but did not. Media blitz followed. Oprah even had something to say.Yes, I spend way too much time catching up on celebrity news...
- November 5th, 2009, 08:40 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#8   Reply With Quote
peg099's Avatar

peg099 wishes she could sleep

Sage

Join Date: Sep 2008

Posts: 10,937

See profile

I think many victims - especially those who have fallen for other abusive men in the past - feel that way. They know on some rational level that they don't want to repeat the pattern of falling for the same type of guy, but then find themselves in the same situation.

I'm not sure that her speaking out will have much effect. Many women in abusive relationships feel they have no option but to stay - often because their self-esteem is so low they feel they wouldn't be able to make it on their own. They wouldn't equate Rhianna's circumstances in terms of financial resources, support systemes etc. with their own. In some cases it might even be discouraging to them to know that even someone who is so accomplished, attractive, and wealthy could have trouble leaving an abusive man. It might make their own circumstances even more daunting. On the plus side, for some, it might help them feel less worthless to recognize that even celebrities are not immune. So it might lead to an increase in women reporting abuse - but I don't think that would translate into an increase in women actually leaving.
- November 5th, 2009, 08:52 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#9   Reply With Quote
Bluemay2's Avatar

Quick Study

Join Date: Aug 2009

Posts: 76

See profile

Overall, do you think Rhianna's speaking out will have a much-needed impact on women currently living in a violent household? [/i]
No because women in such situations need to be psychologically and emotionally ready to leave. A celebrity cannot evoke this through a tv interview. Her speaking out may have an impact on her young fans (adolescents) by opening a dialogue for discussion with their parents/teachers/friends about dating and violence.
- November 5th, 2009, 08:57 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#10   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
emotional challenges women leaving domestic violence niceguy2009 Relationships 9 August 21st, 2009 05:29 pm
Would you date a feminist? CoteDuRhone Dating 402 July 1st, 2009 04:42 pm
Domestic Violence Hairy Relationships 12 May 21st, 2009 01:10 pm

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Or get screwed by the government when you work for them.... ” – shoopthedoop

Join the “Gimme some Friday Night Roll Call !!!!” discussion

“It is probably better to not say that you are committment minded. Some women don't know how to take that because it is not what they are used to or it doesn't fit the image of the guy in their ... ” – bigfincat

Join the “She does not want to be with me because I'm "too nice".” discussion

“Online dating is not a fast process. Many, many people will be losers, flakes, and worse. It matters a lot that you learn how to make a good profile and photos, and give it time - while keeping ... ” – D_Lion

Join the “What am I doing wrong?” discussion

“They are: A: Being nice B: Acknowledging you, that they received your close message.” – melcalrrt

Join the “Re-opening a Closed Match” discussion

“I have no idea if I am type A or type B. But whatever, I like girls that are a bit opposite to me though they don't much care for me. Oh wait pretty much no one cares much for me ” – Gr8Guyn2008

Join the “Are you type "A" or "B"? Which works best for you?” discussion

“OK. What I see is maybe your being quiet and shy is working against you. You don't feel comfortable approaching a woman you don't know. Who does, really? I'm sure any man here can tell you ... ” – j0hn8andy

Join the “Dating: Why Age is an Asset” discussion

“That's why I use the "politically correct" can't stand. It weeds out the uber-easily offended... ” – shoopthedoop

Join the “Dating and insecurity” discussion

“ ... And rejection seems to be more the norm, whether you are disabled or not. (Otherwise, why are all us fantastic people still single?) My dating experience has taught me resiliency amidst ... ” – Gr8Guyn2008

Join the “advice/encouragement on dealing with some fears” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:06 pm.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0