Rhianna speaks out on domestic violence (interesting!)


Reply
  • Page 2 of 2
  • 1
  • 2
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
KungFuFtr is offline KungFuFtr Post #11  November 5,2009, 11:15pm
KungFuFtr's Avatar

I just saved a bundle on child support by switching to condoms!

Veteran

Joined: Dec 2008

San Antonio Texas

Posts: 1,025

See profile

There was a double standard in her case. She initiated the fight by hitting her boyfriend. He then beat her up. It's not cool to beat on your partner on any event; but why didn't she get any flack for assaulting him first?
 
  Reply With Quote
saulgoode is offline saulgoode Post #12  November 6,2009, 4:23pm
saulgoode's Avatar

Unregistered

Joined: Oct 2008

Posts: 1,308

See profile

Can't say. The only domestic violence I've ever seen is when a girl gets mad at me and starts hitting me.

Funny. One time, my girlfriend got ripping mad at me and started slugging away at me.

But, at the time, I was an active karate boy.

I went block-block-block, slapped down all her "attacks" and she never touched me.

She said, "I HATE YOU!"

Then she stormed into my house -- yes, my house -- and with my mom consoling her, she locked me outside in the yard.

Another time a girl beat the hell out of me. It was fifth grade, and I knew better than to hit a girl.

So I took it. She was this black chick with rings on every finger, and she marked me up good.

I got in trouble, had to run laps, detention, the whole bit. She got a hug and released back to playtime.

Another time, a girl in the drama club hit me, a close-fisted slug in the jaw. I didn't see that one coming! It was my brother's girlfriend, and it's safe to say she and I didn't get along.

I was a junior in high school.

Anyway, she hit me, and I never touched her.

So I got kicked out of the drama club, out of the play, detention for a week, and several licks from the principle.

She got to cry on the teacher's shoulder, never got in trouble.

My mom beat the hell out of my dad one night.

Anyway. There's your domestic violence...

Guys are EVIL. Thanks, Rhianna.


- Saul
 
  Reply With Quote
saulgoode is offline saulgoode Post #13  November 6,2009, 4:26pm
saulgoode's Avatar

Unregistered

Joined: Oct 2008

Posts: 1,308

See profile

KungFuFtr wrote :
There was a double standard in her case. She initiated the fight by hitting her boyfriend. He then beat her up. It's not cool to beat on your partner on any event; but why didn't she get any flack for assaulting him first?
One of my buddies is a serious boxer. I don't mean a playtime guy, either, I mean when he went into the Army, they didn't give him a gun, they gave him a pair of 16oz mitts and a pair of shorts.

His gf hit him one night and he reacted. I don't know if he meant it or not, but he hit her once, broke her jaw.

It was the second hit of the night, but he went to jail.

Anyway. That's why I try to avoid crazy b.tches. There is NOOOOOO defense against them.

It's the man's fault. Always.


- Saul
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #14  November 6,2009, 4:44pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

NJ

Posts: 30,721

See profile

These are great posts from Saul ...

But when a girl's hit bounces off you, the right response is nonplussed bemusement, and not to hit back at her.

That and dump her, of course, for the inequity you cited.
 
  Reply With Quote
meri75 is offline meri75 Post #15  November 6,2009, 9:10pm
meri75's Avatar

really wants a double dissolution in 2011!

Power Poster

Joined: Mar 2009

Australia

Posts: 5,112

See profile

eHA_Admin_Lori wrote :
I found this excerpt from the interview with Rhianna to be really interesting in particularly one respect:

-She blames herself for her situation, for "falling in love with that kind of person". I'd actually never heard a victim articulate that specifically -- I've heard them say they egged their abuser on, etc. (often convinced of that by the abuser), but never that they blamed themselves for falling in love.

Do you think many victims feel that way? If so is that part of why they stay in these abusive relationships far too long, often with deadly consequences? I feel every person who has been a victim of domestic violence, that his/her situation is unique. I did not feel that he was hitting me because I 'loved that kind of person'. I stayed because I could not believe this was happening to me. I thought if I amended my behaviour (removed the 'triggers') he would stop. I sort of stuck my head in the sand there for a bit until I woke up to the fact that it was not my fault, was never my fault and he would never change. Ever. I broke off the relationship. I have met other people who have known domestic abuse and each time the circumstances were different.

Overall, do you think Rhianna's speaking out will have a much-needed impact on women currently living in a violent household?
No, I don't. It is very hard to describe the feeling of shame, despair and revulsion experienced. I didn't want to talk about it. I still don't like to talk about it ... and I think that is where a big part of the problem lies with people being able to leave. An ingrained sense of being judged or looked down upon for not doing anything to remove yourself from the situation early on.

What I think is more likely to happen, is for women (and men) to compare their lives to Rhianna negatively. Such as: I don't have the support net in place she does. I don't have the financial security she does. People believed her, they don't/won't believe me!
Last edited by meri75; November 6,2009 at 9:12pm. Reason: Added word
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 2 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« what am i doing wrong? | Relationships | I think I made a really big mistake, need advice »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Would you date a feminist? CoteDuRhone Dating 410 July 14,2011 1:06pm
emotional challenges women leaving domestic violence niceguy2009 Relationships 9 August 21,2009 4:29pm
Domestic Violence Hairy Relationships 12 May 21,2009 12:10pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“The tennis ball story is a good analogy, RD, and that's how I interpret "gut feeling" -- a conclusion/sense of something that's a thought, not a feeling; though it will have feelings associated with ... ” –  Sassafras54

Join the “Is Your Gut Leading - or Misleading You?” discussion

“Agree. Given where you are emotionally, I would cease all communication with Mr. Trade Show. You're vulnerable. He's up for a challenge. It's playing with fire. You'll be in a bad place in the ... ” –  emma_hazards

Join the “Received lovely email from former poofer” discussion

“How about phone calls, then?” –  barbarella_42

Join the “Advice on Response time” discussion

“I have never spoken to a woman like he has. Yeah, I have never spoken to a woman like that either. It is a hard call to whether he is just as jerk, or whether he is a player. Both are feasible ... ” –  ScottK

Join the “So, men. Explain this to me, please!” discussion

“I have come to this same conclusion. Thank you.” –  bibittyboo

Join the “Confused about date #2” discussion

“Harmonygirl, I do not usually make up my mind on blanket situations but instead would examine each one on it's own merits, so I cannot answer your question. However, just in the going about of daily ... ” –  Ephemera

Join the “Atheism, Religion and Tolerance” discussion

“I was ok until the kiss on the cheek part....That doesn't sound like your defenses were up at all... It's one thing for a guy to walk up and start with the cheesy lines....But as soon as I say, "no ... ” –  Ingytravel

Join the “So this guy walks into a bar . . .” discussion

“ No. It is not wise. You have to throw all your eggs into one basket for love to work at all. Relationships are inherently riskier than careers. You can't use the same rules. You might lose ... ” –  harnomygirl

Join the “Becoming Exclusive” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 1:18am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0