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KungFuFtr KungFuFtr is offline
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There was a double standard in her case. She initiated the fight by hitting her boyfriend. He then beat her up. It's not cool to beat on your partner on any event; but why didn't she get any flack for assaulting him first?
- November 6th, 2009, 12:15 am
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saulgoode saulgoode is offline
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Can't say. The only domestic violence I've ever seen is when a girl gets mad at me and starts hitting me.

Funny. One time, my girlfriend got ripping mad at me and started slugging away at me.

But, at the time, I was an active karate boy.

I went block-block-block, slapped down all her "attacks" and she never touched me.

She said, "I HATE YOU!"

Then she stormed into my house -- yes, my house -- and with my mom consoling her, she locked me outside in the yard.

Another time a girl beat the hell out of me. It was fifth grade, and I knew better than to hit a girl.

So I took it. She was this black chick with rings on every finger, and she marked me up good.

I got in trouble, had to run laps, detention, the whole bit. She got a hug and released back to playtime.

Another time, a girl in the drama club hit me, a close-fisted slug in the jaw. I didn't see that one coming! It was my brother's girlfriend, and it's safe to say she and I didn't get along.

I was a junior in high school.

Anyway, she hit me, and I never touched her.

So I got kicked out of the drama club, out of the play, detention for a week, and several licks from the principle.

She got to cry on the teacher's shoulder, never got in trouble.

My mom beat the hell out of my dad one night.

Anyway. There's your domestic violence...

Guys are EVIL. Thanks, Rhianna.


- Saul
- November 6th, 2009, 05:23 pm
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saulgoode saulgoode is offline
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KungFuFtr wrote :
There was a double standard in her case. She initiated the fight by hitting her boyfriend. He then beat her up. It's not cool to beat on your partner on any event; but why didn't she get any flack for assaulting him first?
One of my buddies is a serious boxer. I don't mean a playtime guy, either, I mean when he went into the Army, they didn't give him a gun, they gave him a pair of 16oz mitts and a pair of shorts.

His gf hit him one night and he reacted. I don't know if he meant it or not, but he hit her once, broke her jaw.

It was the second hit of the night, but he went to jail.

Anyway. That's why I try to avoid crazy b.tches. There is NOOOOOO defense against them.

It's the man's fault. Always.


- Saul
- November 6th, 2009, 05:26 pm
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D_Lion D_Lion is offline
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These are great posts from Saul ...

But when a girl's hit bounces off you, the right response is nonplussed bemusement, and not to hit back at her.

That and dump her, of course, for the inequity you cited.
- November 6th, 2009, 05:44 pm
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meri75 meri75 is offline
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eHA_Admin_Lori wrote :
I found this excerpt from the interview with Rhianna to be really interesting in particularly one respect:

-She blames herself for her situation, for "falling in love with that kind of person". I'd actually never heard a victim articulate that specifically -- I've heard them say they egged their abuser on, etc. (often convinced of that by the abuser), but never that they blamed themselves for falling in love.

Do you think many victims feel that way? If so is that part of why they stay in these abusive relationships far too long, often with deadly consequences? I feel every person who has been a victim of domestic violence, that his/her situation is unique. I did not feel that he was hitting me because I 'loved that kind of person'. I stayed because I could not believe this was happening to me. I thought if I amended my behaviour (removed the 'triggers') he would stop. I sort of stuck my head in the sand there for a bit until I woke up to the fact that it was not my fault, was never my fault and he would never change. Ever. I broke off the relationship. I have met other people who have known domestic abuse and each time the circumstances were different.

Overall, do you think Rhianna's speaking out will have a much-needed impact on women currently living in a violent household?
No, I don't. It is very hard to describe the feeling of shame, despair and revulsion experienced. I didn't want to talk about it. I still don't like to talk about it ... and I think that is where a big part of the problem lies with people being able to leave. An ingrained sense of being judged or looked down upon for not doing anything to remove yourself from the situation early on.

What I think is more likely to happen, is for women (and men) to compare their lives to Rhianna negatively. Such as: I don't have the support net in place she does. I don't have the financial security she does. People believed her, they don't/won't believe me!
Last edited by meri75; November 6th, 2009 at 10:12 pm. Reason: Added word
- November 6th, 2009, 10:10 pm
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