I think I made a really big mistake, need advice


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mpiakleu is offline mpiakleu Post #1  November 4,2009, 8:04pm
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So I need advice. Here is the gist of the situation.

I met this girl around 6 months ago. She had just broken up with her boyfriend around a month before we meet and obviously we never talked about him so I did not know one thing about their previous relationship. Well I liked her from the first time we met, but the topic never came up till around a month later. She was actually the one to bring it up (that she liked me).

Well we started to get something going. However, I was going back away to college and never truly let us get involved because I was afraid the long distance relationship would not work out. Needless to say we never became exclusive.

Now I am away at college. I really like this girl and I know she really likes me.

Now here is the complication. She was (apparently) in love with her last boyfriend (the feeling is definitely not mutual and he is VERY manipulative and she is easily taken advantage of = bad combination). He broke up with her and, from what I hear, she was devastated afterward. Well... he's back in the picture. They talked and she wants him back even after all he put her through.

I feel like I have completely lost my chance with her.

So here's the advice I need:
Should I tell her how I feel?
Should I even bother?

(there is obviously more to this situation but I don't want to write a 3 page paper [even though I could probably write 100 pages])
Last edited by mpiakleu; November 6,2009 at 3:20pm.
 
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Rexy is offline Rexy Post #2  November 5,2009, 3:11pm
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Hey there, You should definately tell her how you feel. From then on however it can only be her decision, but at least she'll know the full story and be able to assess her options properly. If she doesn't choose you try not to be too upset, for some reason girls can't help themselves when it comes to bad guys. I myself am guilty of it. good luck and I hope it all works out in your favour. If not don't worry, there will be someone out there for you. You sound like a wonderful young man and someone will be glad to have you
 
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FirstStepMan is offline FirstStepMan Post #3  November 5,2009, 8:55pm
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I would suggest that you move on and let her deal with her own questionable emotions. Since your in school, use the opportunity to meet someone new and build from that.

Best of luck.
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #4  November 5,2009, 9:27pm
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mpiakleu wrote :
So I need advice. Here is the gist of the situation.

I met this girl around 6 months ago. She had just broken up with her boyfriend around a month before we meet and obviously we never talked about him so I did not know one thing about their previous relationship. Well I liked her from the first time we met, but the topic never came up till around a month later. She was actually the one to bring it up (that she liked me).

Well we started to get something going. However, I was going back away to college and never truly let us get involved because I was afraid the long distance relationship would not work out. Needless to say we never became exclusive.

Now I am away at college. I really like this girl and I know she really likes me.

Now here is the complication. She was (apparently) in love with her last boyfriend (the feeling is definitely not mutual and he is VERY manipulative and she is easily taken advantage of = bad combination). He broke up with her and, from what I hear, she was devastated afterward. Well... he's back in the picture. Around a month ago they met because he was leaving for Greece. They talked and she wants him back even after all he put her through.

I feel like I have completely lost my chance with her.

So here's the advice I need:
Should I tell her how I feel?
Should I even bother?

(there is obviously more to this situation but I don't want to write a 3 page paper [even though I could probably write 100 pages])
Did you expect her to wait around for you without knowing how you feel?
 
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SteveVance is offline SteveVance Post #5  November 5,2009, 9:41pm
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mpiakleu wrote :
So I need advice. Here is the gist of the situation.

I met this girl around 6 months ago. She had just broken up with her boyfriend around a month before we meet and obviously we never talked about him so I did not know one thing about their previous relationship. Well I liked her from the first time we met, but the topic never came up till around a month later. She was actually the one to bring it up (that she liked me).

Well we started to get something going. However, I was going back away to college and never truly let us get involved because I was afraid the long distance relationship would not work out. Needless to say we never became exclusive.

Now I am away at college. I really like this girl and I know she really likes me.

Now here is the complication. She was (apparently) in love with her last boyfriend (the feeling is definitely not mutual and he is VERY manipulative and she is easily taken advantage of = bad combination). He broke up with her and, from what I hear, she was devastated afterward. Well... he's back in the picture. Around a month ago they met because he was leaving for Greece. They talked and she wants him back even after all he put her through.

I feel like I have completely lost my chance with her.

So here's the advice I need:
Should I tell her how I feel?
Should I even bother?

(there is obviously more to this situation but I don't want to write a 3 page paper [even though I could probably write 100 pages])

You are in school, I stopped reading there. NO relationships from High School should be carried long distance to college. Period. Ive had friends who did that, they are now divorced. They also missed out on figuring out what they were looking for to a certain extent in college. Do NOT waste your college career pining over a what if with a girl who is easily manipulated. Even if you were with her, you would probably worry that someone else was manipulating her while you were gone. Get good grades, graduate, get a job, and use the rest of your time to get off the internet and meet people in person.

Sorry if that was harsh, i have too many buddies who just waited and waited for one girl in college, and now they are unhappy as hell.
 
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BikerBeagle is offline BikerBeagle Post #6  November 6,2009, 3:15am
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thinks everyone should just ask themselves, WWBBD?

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You were a rebound ...

BOING BOING BOING ...

This is a dead end for you. Let it go.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #7  November 6,2009, 4:44am
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She is not over her ex - enough said. All you are is a rebound, a distraction, a time filler, a doormat. Go have fun in college and forget her.
 
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bekka74 is offline bekka74 Post #8  November 6,2009, 5:03am
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I wont tell you to just forget about her becasue if you really care for her you can't. I do agree that since you are in school and this would be a long distance relationship that you let her know you care about her but you cant be expected to wait and see where you fit in her life. Go out and see other people, stay in contact with this girl. You said her ex is very manipulative, she may need you more as a friend right now to help her. If the realtinship between you two is destined for more it will happen. If you're just destined to be friends..thats just the way it is. But i do hate that guys automatically drop girls they liked hanging out with because the chance for romance is gone. Good friends are always welcome in my world...most people dont have enough
 
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Harvey7 is offline Harvey7 Post #9  November 6,2009, 7:10am

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Actually your in a good place and can have the best of both worlds. I would write to her (Pen & Paper style.) Tell her about school your activities and that you were thinking about her and would like to continue the friendship? When you get home you would like to see where it's at for the two of you with dating? Your leaving a door open for when you get home and see if the both of you can start with a clean slate. This also give the both of you the opportunity to get to know each other on a more personal level.

Harvey7.
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #10  November 6,2009, 8:17am
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Harvey7 wrote :
Actually your in a good place and can have the best of both worlds. I would write to her (Pen & Paper style.) Tell her about school your activities and that you were thinking about her and would like to continue the friendship? When you get home you would like to see where it's at for the two of you with dating? Your leaving a door open for when you get home and see if the both of you can start with a clean slate. This also give the both of you the opportunity to get to know each other on a more personal level.

Harvey7.
Best post so far. Five stars.
 
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