I think I made a really big mistake, need advice


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mpiakleu is offline mpiakleu Post #11  November 6,2009, 10:33am
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SteveVance wrote :
You are in school, I stopped reading there. NO relationships from High School should be carried long distance to college. Period. Ive had friends who did that, they are now divorced. They also missed out on figuring out what they were looking for to a certain extent in college. Do NOT waste your college career pining over a what if with a girl who is easily manipulated. Even if you were with her, you would probably worry that someone else was manipulating her while you were gone. Get good grades, graduate, get a job, and use the rest of your time to get off the internet and meet people in person.

Sorry if that was harsh, i have too many buddies who just waited and waited for one girl in college, and now they are unhappy as hell.
Thanks everyone, these reply's have really helped. Just wanted to say to SteveVance it was not a high school relationship, I am in my third year of college. This relationship with me and her just came about in the summer before my junior year after we meet through a friend. Your advice is good though. Thanks everyone.
 
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SteveVance is offline SteveVance Post #12  November 6,2009, 5:30pm
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Oh, my bad, so part of my advice is still good, but disregard the carrying it forward from high school part. But do pay attention to the manipulation part!
 
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charlie990 is offline charlie990 Post #13  November 6,2009, 5:55pm
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Consider this NOT a 'mistake' but a 'learning experience'.. there is always a reason why situations dont work out..let it go:- she was on the rebound..you were unsure.. concentrate on the studies and be open to allow a new romance when the time is right..
 
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brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel — Advice Member-Moderator Post #14  November 7,2009, 8:44am
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It sounds like you were a rebound relationship from her ex, and that she still had feelings for him. Even if I'm wrong in that assertion, if you don't tell a person how you feel about them, how are they going to know? Any kind of a relationship requires honest communication, and if you don't share your concerns and feelings, the other person isn't going to know. He made himself available to her, even if he isn't the best choice for her, and you didn't--it kind of sounds like you put her in the dreaded "friend zone" from which there's little hope of ever escaping, whether you intended to or not!

I think if you want to have a chance with her, you need to stop relying on what you've heard and talk with her.

Best wishes to you. I hope it all works out the way you're hoping it will.
 
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