Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Relationships Relationships: they have their ups and their downs. Share your joy or weather the storm in this discussion board.

Reply
Page 2 of 3 1 2 3
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
nightling nightling is offline
nightling's Avatar

nightling -- there is pain, there is rain. No one's ever completely sane.

Veteran

Join Date: Sep 2009

Posts: 1,332

See profile

clearlyoblique wrote :
My voice squeaks when I lie. My sister's voice squeaks for the same reason.

I come from a family of truth telling terrible liars. We do the Southern Social thing ... and those lines pass muster out of practice ... but an outright lie? Hmmm ... but my sister is good at poker ... I wonder how she does that. The liar. lol.
I rather think lying has its place. Like when the Gestapo comes knocking, it's nice if you can believably lie about Anne Frank not being in your attic.
- November 4th, 2009, 07:06 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#11   Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 Gr8Guyn2008 is offline
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

Gr8Guyn2008 I wanna know what love is, I want you to show me

Power Poster

Join Date: Jan 2008

Posts: 9,311

See profile

kevin76 wrote :
The thing about which direction they look always bothered me too, but for different reasons.

The idea is that people look to their left when accessing memories and to their right when accessing imagination.
That may be true in the vast majority of cases, but I think there could always be exceptions. What if a person is really imaginative in the way they think, and use their imagination as a 'jump-start' for their memory? What if the memory is so clear it takes no effort to recall it, but they are imagining how you might react to what they're saying?
What if they're imagining you naked to calm themselves down?

The 'science' is probably pretty accurate, but the brain is complex and so are people. Would you condemn someone to the electric chair based on which direction they looked when you asked them a question?

Mnemonic: Eye Direction and Lying
I think the operative words in your referenced article are "normally organized".
- November 4th, 2009, 08:52 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#12   Reply With Quote
clearlyoblique clearlyoblique is offline
clearlyoblique's Avatar

clearlyoblique wears the skirt in the relationship

Virtuoso

Join Date: Jan 2009

Posts: 2,522

See profile

Yeah. We all want people to show courage when it matters. Adrenaline mixed with courage enables different outcomes for anyone.

But if someone asks me if I don't drink out of public water fountains out of fear of germs? And I say no? *squeak*
- November 5th, 2009, 06:33 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#13   Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 Gr8Guyn2008 is offline
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

Gr8Guyn2008 I wanna know what love is, I want you to show me

Power Poster

Join Date: Jan 2008

Posts: 9,311

See profile

Hmm, very interesting, I cannot comment on kevin76's post.

Well what I said is that in his reference the operative words are "normally organized".
- November 5th, 2009, 07:12 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#14   Reply With Quote
Mokkesofie Mokkesofie is online now
Mokkesofie's Avatar

Veteran

Join Date: Nov 2008

Posts: 2,224

See profile

Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
Hmm, very interesting, I cannot comment on kevin76's post.
But was he looking left or right when he wrote it?
- November 5th, 2009, 07:23 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#15   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

saulgoode saulgoode is offline
saulgoode's Avatar

Unregistered

Join Date: Oct 2008

Posts: 1,310

See profile

Really, it doesn't matter one little bit whether or not you're lying or telling the truth.

All that matters is whether they ~think~ you're telling the truth.

"I never slept with her!"

See? It doesn't matter what I said, or whether or not it's the truth. It just matters what you ~think~ is the truth.

Perception is reality. Innocence and guilt have no bearing if you stand accused -- you're guilty by accusation.

Period.

Haven't you ever been caught trying to force a bold-faced truth on someone?

Haven't you passed off an honest lie?

Truth doesn't matter one bit. All that matters is whether they believe you, or disbelieve you.


- Saul
- November 5th, 2009, 07:48 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#16   Reply With Quote
gigi11 gigi11 is offline
gigi11's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Nov 2009

Posts: 2

See profile

One is meant to “enhance” the truth, the other to hide it, or replace it with a totally false version of reality. Self-flattery is no crime, but outright lies are dangerous. They usually obscure facts that, if known, would threaten the relationship—other romantic commitments, severe financial difficulty, even criminal behavior.

I guess what I find disturbing is the above. Outright lies, and nothing but lies are dangerous. Especially because of severe financial difficulty and criminal behaviour. Not to be the heavy here, but sociapathy is alive and well out there, what they are cutely called as players. Dangerous indeed.

Most of us do lie, to enhance, but not consistently and for the express purpose of getting into someone's life and destroying it. Have a care everyone and read up on anti-social personality disorder, which is the term now used by psychiatrists for sociopaths.
- November 5th, 2009, 08:48 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#17   Reply With Quote
coachglove coachglove is offline
coachglove's Avatar

Join Date: Nov 2009

Posts: 4

See profile

The "if he looks up and to the right" is only partially true.  You need to set a baseline before you can determine the likelihood of lying vs truth.  if you ask "Hey what color is that shirt?" or "What is your mom's birthday?" and they look up and to the right, then that is their baseline and a look up and to the left may be the danger sign because they are accessing a different part of their cerebral cortex. 


 


The "trust your gut" is quite true.  So many people get caught up in the game of trying to prove someone is lying.  If your gut says the person is not being honest, then there is a reason for that...and you should listen.

- November 5th, 2009, 09:20 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#18   Reply With Quote
Sherita1981 Sherita1981 is offline
Sherita1981's Avatar

Sherita1981 Longs for Christmas break...

Newbie

Join Date: Jan 2009

Posts: 19

See profile

What about people who have created a fanatsy world -- have lied so much to themselves they believe it is all true? Or people who put up a "front" -- for a long time, their behaviour suggests they are well-adjusted, smart, and well-rounded, but after a few months, that mask starts slipping...but they are unaware of it?

- November 7th, 2009, 07:33 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#19   Reply With Quote
PY_2 PY_2 is offline
PY_2's Avatar

Enthusiast

Join Date: Oct 2009

Posts: 774

See profile

Can_I_just_be_Jo wrote :
I look down and bite my lower lip when answering questions
If a woman does this during our date (particularly towards me) I'd be nervous!
- November 7th, 2009, 10:06 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#20   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Reply
Page 2 of 3 1 2 3

Bookmarks

« What says I love you men vs women | Array | Smothering—Can You Love Too Much? »
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“sounds like things are going great! i'd suggest that you just keep doing whatever it is you are doing. and don't sweat the little things.” – notyet

Join the “always so paranoid” discussion

“"Billed in one installment of $239.40" means, "Billed once for $239.40." Pardon me for saying this, but if I had less than $40 in my bank account, buying an eHarmony subscription will be the least ... ” – Coca-Cola

Join the “eHarmony payment plans” discussion

“ Call them!” – Coca-Cola

Join the “FCW - Interesting Problem” discussion

“It appears the OP hasn't participated in EhA since she login and posed her question initially. We all come to these advise boards with so many different backgrounds...in fact I wrote another post on ... ” – RoxyRedhead

Join the “Frustrated & Confused: Is He A Sexual Addict???” discussion

“Darn..is that it..the first sign of awkwardness and kapowie/ shoot the relationship down.Here we haver 2 introverts without, apparently, heaps of experience, looking not for a way to end it, but for ... ” – RoxyRedhead

Join the “what to do... second guessing myself” discussion

“Lil lamb, I mentioned God in this topic for a number of reasons. 1. He is the Author of marriage. 2. The OP expressly emphasized God 3. The nature of this group. 4. A few more......... Perhaps ... ” – lil_lamb

Join the “Letter: National migration towards legalization of same-sex marriage” discussion

“Maybe I'm missing something too, but I had closed my match and she finally asked to reopen...but looks like if you've closed somebody before you can't reopen it as a non-paying member. Not that it ... ” – PY_2

Join the “Free Communication Weekend” discussion

“hmm. well, i've got a nasty streak of religiosity. as in, i believe chastity is not only for the unmarried. do i qualify? anyways, i'd say it's hard to talk about "advantages." being religious is, ... ” – lil_lamb

Join the “Gods will and sex vs abstinence for older folks” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:09 am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0