She Keeps Old Boy Friends Phone Numbers


View Poll Results: Does having contact with past partners hurt your current relationship.
Yes, it has ended our relationship 1 9.09%
No, we are very much in love with one another and trust each other to do the right thing 2 18.18%
it eats at me thinking what He/She is doing when im not with her,but we are still together 1 9.09%
we both see our past partners while still in our current relationship with or without knowledge 0 0%
dosent bother me im the one my partner wants now 7 63.64%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 11. You may not vote on this poll

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SactoDoug is offline SactoDoug Post #11  November 2,2009, 7:29pm
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is wondering why he can't get no satisfaction.

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Until you put a ring on her finger, then she should keep those phone numbers. Once you do propose to her, make it clear that she needs to throw those numbers away and I'll bet she will do so gladly.
 
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Harvey7 is offline Harvey7 Post #12  November 3,2009, 3:55pm

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She has a back up for the back up and so on, at this time it has become a security issue for her to know that she always has a backdoor Jonny stashed and available to her for service.

The problem is her mind set and I would forget about getting engaged and ask her to add you to the list of old boyfriends! She has some issues that need to be dealt with in couples counseling or not at all.

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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #13  November 3,2009, 5:37pm
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I've never deleted a number from my phone memory (too much work), though I would delete old dating partners if a new one asked me to.

I think you have a legitimate concern. Her having the numbers in her phone is not a problem, her refusing to delete them is a sign she is not onboard with valuing you as an exclusive partner.

This is a difficult decision: I think I would leave her for the refusal, but I also would not have cared to ask about this in the first place.
 
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Bunnybear1234 is offline Bunnybear1234 Post #14  November 4,2009, 3:43pm
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Hi i dont agree with the others replies either, i believe leave the past in the past and move on to the future.

I dont keep any of my exes phone numbers and why should I, I'm with my boyfriend he is most important in my life.

My boyfriend did the same thing at first keep old love letters from exes and photos really made me upset he threw some of them away and kept a few .

Not an issue now, but you should tell her does she mind if you keep numbers of your ex -girlfriends and she how she responds.

But honestly to talk to her about it and see why she does.

I dont get why some girls do that?
 
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chrysalis08 is offline chrysalis08 Post #15  November 5,2009, 9:42am
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I agree with DL and I guess it would depend on where the relationship is at. When I was married and knew my husband inside and out, it would not have bothered me because I trusted him and knew it was just something he never bothered to do. If I felt there was something "off" in the relationship, or he was holding back somehow, it might make me a little unsure. But I wouldn't go looking in the phone for them, wouldn't be snooping around trying to see if he's hiding something unless there was reasonable cause for it. Trust your bat sense.
 
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bigfincat is offline bigfincat Post #16  November 5,2009, 7:59pm
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I disagree with the idea that we should leave people from our past behind.

When we get close to someone are we supposed to lose ourselves & the people that we enjoyed in the past.

I would never ask a woman to lose people from their past. I would also be put off by the underlying insecurity of her request for me to lose the past. I think that it is off-putting if someone is an opened book & a partner questions that honesty.

I don't want to become isolated when I become exclusive.

I would never lose old phone numbers, photos, letters, etc. I don't care if a partner cried like a baby for days & days. I have kept them for years & will continue to do so.

I remember those times & they were good times.

Would you throw away old photos from your past that were not mates? For me they represent the same things as old photos of old friends & experiences... because that is exactly what they are!

Would it make any difference if I transferred those phone numbers into an address book & then deleted them?? That is something that I might do. But what is the difference as I would still have the numbers.
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #17  November 5,2009, 8:27pm
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bigfincat wrote :
I disagree with the idea that we should leave people from our past behind.

When we get close to someone are we supposed to lose ourselves & the people that we enjoyed in the past.

I would never ask a woman to lose people from their past. I would also be put off by the underlying insecurity of her request for me to lose the past. I think that it is off-putting if someone is an opened book & a partner questions that honesty.

I don't want to become isolated when I become exclusive.

I would never lose old phone numbers, photos, letters, etc. I don't care if a partner cried like a baby for days & days. I have kept them for years & will continue to do so.

I remember those times & they were good times.

Would you throw away old photos from your past that were not mates? For me they represent the same things as old photos of old friends & experiences... because that is exactly what they are!

Would it make any difference if I transferred those phone numbers into an address book & then deleted them?? That is something that I might do. But what is the difference as I would still have the numbers.
I agree with this. I keep a lot of sentimental things not just photographs, either. Old tickets, a guitar pick, a dress, notes ... my past is part of what makes me myself. I value that, and I still value many of the people who passed through my life. I frankly would not mind hearing from them now and then and if they ever needed my help for some reason, I would hope they'd feel they could call me. Not that I want to get back together with them, but there will always be a certain amount of fondness for these old loves.

If your gf were in contact with these people on a regular basis and having an emotional affair with them, you'd have a right to be concerned, but what you describe is very far from that.
 
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moorehouse is offline moorehouse Post #18  November 5,2009, 8:38pm
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she once well three times cheated on me with her ex-love. But now says it's over. Several states devide us we live up north he is in the south. When he would call our homewe would start fussing on the phone and she would say that i was causing him to act that way by answering the phone and not putting her on.

Then her ex-boyfriend who lives here calls and we argue and because him a crack head (which he is a function one) she would get upset. But yet get mad at me because when they call they and i argue then she and i argue, but yet it's my fault because i let them get under my skin. But like i tell her "I'm not calling there house talking to there woman. So am i wrong. No woman call for me. And yes i do LOVE her.UPSET IN UPSTATE.
 
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