peg099 is offline peg099 Post #11  November 6,2009, 12:35am
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You need to work on your self-esteem, on communication, and on establishing healthy boundaries.

In a healthy relationship, each partner is responsible for identifying their own needs, communicating them to the other, listening to the partner's response, and evaluating that response in determining further course of action

You say you do not call him because you do not want to bother him. This shows poor self-esteem. It also shows poor boundaries by assuming what his response will be. That is unfair to both of you.

Healthier ways of approaching this would be to
1) Call him and let him tell you if that is not a convenient time. Just because he was tired once when you called doesn't mean you should never call. he is an adult; he can set his own boundaries.
2) alternately, you could express your far to him and listen to his response. Frankly though, I don't know anyone who wants to always be the one initiating contact.

Bottom line is if you want a healthy relationship, you need to have a healthy self-esteem and ability to communicate. You can't make assumptions that you being in his life is a burden or bother to him. If it were, he wouldn't be with you.
 
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