Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Relationships Relationships: they have their ups and their downs. Share your joy or weather the storm in this discussion board.

Reply
Page 2 of 2 1 2
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
peg099 peg099 is offline
peg099's Avatar

peg099 has fallen and he landed beside me :)

Sage

Join Date: Sep 2008

Posts: 11,948

See profile

You need to work on your self-esteem, on communication, and on establishing healthy boundaries.

In a healthy relationship, each partner is responsible for identifying their own needs, communicating them to the other, listening to the partner's response, and evaluating that response in determining further course of action

You say you do not call him because you do not want to bother him. This shows poor self-esteem. It also shows poor boundaries by assuming what his response will be. That is unfair to both of you.

Healthier ways of approaching this would be to
1) Call him and let him tell you if that is not a convenient time. Just because he was tired once when you called doesn't mean you should never call. he is an adult; he can set his own boundaries.
2) alternately, you could express your far to him and listen to his response. Frankly though, I don't know anyone who wants to always be the one initiating contact.

Bottom line is if you want a healthy relationship, you need to have a healthy self-esteem and ability to communicate. You can't make assumptions that you being in his life is a burden or bother to him. If it were, he wouldn't be with you.
- November 6th, 2009, 01:35 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#11   Reply With Quote
Reply
Page 2 of 2 1 2

Bookmarks

« Advice! met great guy who happens to be felon | Array | Rhianna speaks out on domestic violence (interesting!) »
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
I called him by the wrong name! Help! teacher22 Using eHarmony 20 November 27th, 2009 06:51 am
did I do something wrong?? nicoleak3 Ask a Dating Expert 6 September 24th, 2009 04:55 pm
Wrong number landstar59 Everything Else 4 July 25th, 2009 09:09 pm
Am I the wrong one? Should I stay or just call it a day? living_in_a_dream Ask a Dating Expert 3 June 6th, 2009 09:52 pm

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Don't over analyze it man...she gave you a call after a week...and told you that she heard that you left the group, either somebody told her or she asked what's going on. Really man, who cares ... ” – PY_2

Join the “Met this girl at an activity group and confused once again.” discussion

“ EH reps say: after a week give a nudge, then close in another week if no reply. That's not what it says on the site, which is that people have varying schedules and you should be patient.” – mrflyer

Join the “Close or leave open?” discussion

“..and this is only one reason of many why I love this site. The classic dating problem of competition is deliciously turned on its head. I have no problems getting contacts that communicate, even ... ” – Rustman

Join the “What am I doing wrong?” discussion

“MicMan, I think MrFlyer is missing the point altogether that what was done to you was needlessly cruel and thoughtless, not to mention crass, classless, tactless and trashy. No, you are missing the ... ” – mrflyer

Join the “Stay Classy Matches” discussion

“ So you don't care at all what your dates look like? I would believe you, but only if you were blind.” – mrflyer

Join the “New pics and not attracted” discussion

“ Your racial concerns are your issues. They have nothing to do with her or her past. Our histories and our cultural indoctrination are difficult things to overcome, but the only solution is to either ... ” – OldManNoah

Join the “Getting Over My Girlfriend's Past Lovers?” discussion

“ It means that the strip club is the wrong place to take her for your first date. I would interpret it as "no sex before marriage" (or perhaps being engaged).” – mrflyer

Join the “"I must have someone who is reserved and traditional in their sexual needs."” discussion

“Moral of this sad tale: When it comes to FB and the person you're dating, neither a friender nor friendee be! I just made the idiotic mistake of accepting a friend request from a woman I've just ... ” – rocchio

Join the “Female Facebook Friends. Need Advice.” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:26 am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2010, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0