Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Relationships Relationships: they have their ups and their downs. Share your joy or weather the storm in this discussion board.

Reply
Page 6 of 8 « First 4 5 6 7 8
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
buffengineer buffengineer is offline
buffengineer's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Oct 2009

Posts: 21

See profile

I personally could never stand a women who thinks "shes always right". What kind of wife would she make. Personally I don't think she would make that good of a wife. I personally think the man in the relationship should take the leadership position and when the women always has to be "right" in some ways its a disrespect to the man. Men above all else want respect from the women in their lives. While the men are supposed to love the wives. I could never see someone that is unwilling to compromise last that long in a serious relationship since relationships are always about compromise.. Personally I think its a very arrogant stance. Is this person married happily??? Or are they single.. I never take advice from single people.. Always from happily married couples..
- November 13th, 2009, 06:53 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#51   Reply With Quote
Pocketmorgan Pocketmorgan is offline
Pocketmorgan's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Nov 2009

Posts: 3

See profile

A real man should pretty much just step down from the arguement if he knows whats best for him. If he loves her he needs to realize woman are hardwired to be emotional and will always win the battle. WE WILL ALWAYS WIN... Its just our way.

So I say step down, but when she is in a nuetral mood communicate and say very politly and caringly what you think was unfair and PLEASE BE OPEN WITH YOUR FEELINGS. Then we will understand a whole lot better where your coming from. If you love her let her think she is right, there is no use in making her feel like shes not. That will bring her confidence down and who wants that?

If there is somthings that really need be discussed that are hurtung you are making you feel down on yourself you need to talk to her while she is in a nuetral mood, and say it with a kind and caring voice tone. DO NOT blame because she will raise the red flags and become defensive. Reason to her with no ego involved and she'll probly feel bad. Do not use this tool to turn things on her that are truly not her fault though.. Use it wisely my friend
- November 13th, 2009, 07:52 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#52   Reply With Quote
muddymo muddymo is offline
muddymo's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Jul 2009

Posts: 3

See profile

In my muddy opinion:

If you find yourself on opposite sides of an issue/argument having no real right or wrong answer, for example chicken for dinner or fish, then "be happy vs be right" should be heavily considered.

Having said that, using the same scenario, if you find that you never , or almost never, get what you want for dinner then that may be a sign of something more serious like you partner being a controller or abuser.

Now, having said that if you don't get what you want for dinner BUT she never gets to watch what she wants on TV it may be a good balance or it may be time to talk compromise.

If you easily and regularly see holes in your partners logic or wisdom for other issues and this is causing discomfort for either of you it is likely only a matter of time before the situation becomes undesirable for both of you.

You will be better off finding a partner matching your intelligence and/or maturity. But, be careful not to over shoot as you will find yourself on the other side of the same boat.
- November 13th, 2009, 08:47 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#53   Reply With Quote
Jacquesne Jacquesne is offline
Jacquesne's Avatar

Jacquesne knows the answer...42

Volunteer Community Leader

Join Date: May 2008

Posts: 1,335

See profile

Pocketmorgan wrote :
A real man should pretty much just step down from the arguement if he knows whats best for him. If he loves her he needs to realize woman are hardwired to be emotional and will always win the battle. WE WILL ALWAYS WIN... Its just our way.

So I say step down, but when she is in a nuetral mood communicate and say very politly and caringly what you think was unfair and PLEASE BE OPEN WITH YOUR FEELINGS. Then we will understand a whole lot better where your coming from. If you love her let her think she is right, there is no use in making her feel like shes not. That will bring her confidence down and who wants that?

If there is somthings that really need be discussed that are hurtung you are making you feel down on yourself you need to talk to her while she is in a nuetral mood, and say it with a kind and caring voice tone. DO NOT blame because she will raise the red flags and become defensive. Reason to her with no ego involved and she'll probly feel bad. Do not use this tool to turn things on her that are truly not her fault though.. Use it wisely my friend
I don't understand.

Sorry, that's the only way I can put it. I don't understand what this means. Let me explain.

Let's say my significant other says something that is false. She tells me, for example, that the capitol of Florida is Miami. I say no, the capitol of Florida is Tallahassee.

Under this suggestion I should say, "OK, you're right, the capitol of Florida is Miami"? I should just go along with it because she's going to win by yelling at me? If I go to google and point out the capital of Florida is not Miami, but the opposite end of the state, I'm the one in the wrong for hurting her confidence?

So let's say I do that. I let her "win." Now I wait until she's calmed down. How do I bring this up? "Oh, by the way, my classmate from Miami called and said he's going up to Florida State next to Tallahassee and wanted to see the Florida capitol building."?

Do I express my "feelings"? Should I say, "I was really hurt when you insisted the Florida capitol was in the wrong place."? Should I give my true feelings which are "I was trying not to laugh at you for insisting upon something that is wrong without any evidence to back it up?"

It's not a matter of being hurt. Sometimes there are arguments where someone is right. If it's something silly, like the breakfast menu or politics, yeah, there's no right answer. But if my girlfriend starts trying to tell me that the Emancipation Proclamation freed the slaves, that female dogs are no longer called a certain thing once they're spayed, that we live north of the local college instead of south of it, or any other such nonsense I don't see how I can possibly accept this.

So what should I do in this situation? I honestly don't know. I don't really want to hurt her feelings but I also can't simply ignore being told that I'm wrong when I'm not.

What would you do?

Jacquesne
- November 15th, 2009, 11:20 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#54   Reply With Quote
brneyedangel brneyedangel is offline
brneyedangel's Avatar

brneyedangel just found out she lives in the worst weather city in the U.S.!

Volunteer Community Leader

Join Date: May 2009

Posts: 2,092

See profile

buffengineer wrote :
I personally could never stand a women who thinks "shes always right". What kind of wife would she make. Personally I don't think she would make that good of a wife. I personally think the man in the relationship should take the leadership position and when the women always has to be "right" in some ways its a disrespect to the man. Men above all else want respect from the women in their lives. While the men are supposed to love the wives. I could never see someone that is unwilling to compromise last that long in a serious relationship since relationships are always about compromise.. Personally I think its a very arrogant stance. Is this person married happily??? Or are they single.. I never take advice from single people.. Always from happily married couples..
If relationships are always about compromise, then why would men need to take the leadership role? Shouldn't it be a partnership?
- November 15th, 2009, 11:40 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#55   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

brneyedangel brneyedangel is offline
brneyedangel's Avatar

brneyedangel just found out she lives in the worst weather city in the U.S.!

Volunteer Community Leader

Join Date: May 2009

Posts: 2,092

See profile

Pocketmorgan wrote :
A real man should pretty much just step down from the arguement if he knows whats best for him. If he loves her he needs to realize woman are hardwired to be emotional and will always win the battle. WE WILL ALWAYS WIN... Its just our way.

So I say step down, but when she is in a nuetral mood communicate and say very politly and caringly what you think was unfair and PLEASE BE OPEN WITH YOUR FEELINGS. Then we will understand a whole lot better where your coming from. If you love her let her think she is right, there is no use in making her feel like shes not. That will bring her confidence down and who wants that?

If there is somthings that really need be discussed that are hurtung you are making you feel down on yourself you need to talk to her while she is in a nuetral mood, and say it with a kind and caring voice tone. DO NOT blame because she will raise the red flags and become defensive. Reason to her with no ego involved and she'll probly feel bad. Do not use this tool to turn things on her that are truly not her fault though.. Use it wisely my friend
We will always win because we're hardwired to be emotional and a real man should step down from an argument? Seriously? Quite frankly, I've seen a lot of women get dumped because they are overly emotional when it comes to handling problems in relationships.

I disagree wholeheartedly with the concept that we will always win because we're emotional. Emotional maturity is where it's at, imho. The ability to accept not always being right is a part of being a mature adult in a mature relationship. Playing the emotion card and expecting men to adjust their behavior to deal with emotions isn't right or fair, and it smacks of a high maintenance drama queen. Guys have feelings too, and if they get stepped on often enough, they're going to start to disengage from a relationship all together. And there are instances where some things are just right and wrong, as Jacquesne pointed out, and there's no point in getting all emotional and hurt over those things.
- November 15th, 2009, 11:51 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#56   Reply With Quote
FisherGirl FisherGirl is offline
FisherGirl's Avatar

FisherGirl :)

Newbie

Join Date: Nov 2009

Posts: 7

See profile

The way I see it, most arguments between couples are over small petty things. I think that most of the time, it should be thought out. Does it really matter who is right? I mean, there are bigger things in the world to worry about and discuss. Also, I think that most women need to relax. I am not a feminist, dislike them actually, but some things honestly DO NOT matter, so just let them go and relax!!
- November 15th, 2009, 12:06 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#57   Reply With Quote
scarlet13 scarlet13 is offline
scarlet13's Avatar

scarlet13 and i found out where my edge is and it bleeds into where you resist

Virtuoso

Join Date: Apr 2009

Posts: 3,879

See profile

FisherGirl wrote :
The way I see it, most arguments between couples are over small petty things. I think that most of the time, it should be thought out. Does it really matter who is right? I mean, there are bigger things in the world to worry about and discuss. Also, I think that most women need to relax. I am not a feminist, dislike them actually, but some things honestly DO NOT matter, so just let them go and relax!!
do you also dislike your right to own property and vote? just curious.
- November 15th, 2009, 03:50 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#58   Reply With Quote
littlebluemonkeymind littlebluemonkeymind is offline
littlebluemonkeymind's Avatar

Power Poster

Join Date: Jul 2008

Posts: 8,718

See profile

FisherGirl wrote :
The way I see it, most arguments between couples are over small petty things. I think that most of the time, it should be thought out. Does it really matter who is right? I mean, there are bigger things in the world to worry about and discuss. Also, I think that most women need to relax. I am not a feminist, dislike them actually, but some things honestly DO NOT matter, so just let them go and relax!!
scarlet13 wrote :
do you also dislike your right to own property and vote? just curious.
And do you dislike being given equal pay for equal work? Do you dislike having an entire range of careers to choose from rather than those that are "fit" for women? Do you dislike being educated? Do you dislike being able to make your own decisions rather than having your closest male relative do so? Do you dislike not losing a job because you get pregnant or you won't have sex wtih the boss?

Every freedom you enjoy, even the choice to be ignorant or to bad mouth people about whom you apparently know nothing, is a freedom built on the bones and blood of every man and woman who stood up for what was right, rather than what a select few deemed more beneficial to them.

You can be whatever you want, but show some respect, please, for the people who made that possible.
- November 15th, 2009, 05:04 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#59   Reply With Quote
nightling nightling is offline
nightling's Avatar

Veteran

Join Date: Sep 2009

Posts: 2,448

See profile

I don't know if the OP gives enough details to really understand the situation.

I at one time had a boyfriend who was constantly making reckless decisions and who was very defensive about any attempt at pointing out the really obvious safety issues with what he was about to do. He was a train wreck waiting to happen ... and I am sure he felt irritated with the "always right" woman.

Without knowing the details of the situation ...

It's entirely possible this woman's bedside manner isn't the best and that she should be giving in a little more. But I think communication is the real key here. Discuss how it's making you feel, but not only share your feelings, but find out how she feels and see if you can work out some sort of compromise that respects you both.
- November 15th, 2009, 05:27 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#60   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Reply
Page 6 of 8 « First 4 5 6 7 8

Bookmarks

« Feeling insecure, especially tonight | Array | Is it Time to Break Up? »
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Sex survey for Men librarybabe Dating 126 December 13th, 2009 06:30 pm
Attractive woman - issue seagirl11 Dating 16 October 20th, 2009 10:01 pm
Am I being tested by this woman???? CARL45 Ask a Dating Expert 0 September 10th, 2009 07:01 pm
How does a man handle rejection by a woman maturely, and how can a man date the girl Leafsg Dating 42 September 4th, 2009 02:09 pm

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“I didn't do much last weekend, except involving in a flirtatious and steamy PM with an ehA admin LOL (kidding! and no it was not Jack! :eek Nah...had to do some home improvements stuff and went to ... ” – PY_2

Join the “Monday, February 8th weekend and date roundup!” discussion

“We had a long discussion on this about a month ago. Take a ... ” – AndieIsMe

Join the “Must Have/Can't Stand Mistake?” discussion

“I called to try to get an appointment with an OB/GYN, and they are already scheduling for late summer. That is too late. My match might like me, and like me an awful lot, but he's not a man of ... ” – littlebluemonkeymind

Join the “Update” discussion

“ lol this is why chemistry is overrated but I agree with the underlined.” – PY_2

Join the “Is love at first sight real?” discussion

“http://i353.photobucket.com/albums/r388/cascade91/train_wreck.jpg Run away from this, as far and as fast as you can. That is all.” – 6dle899

Join the “Abusive relationship ?” discussion

“He works a regular 9-to-5 job, so there should not be any reason why he could not communicate. He initiated communication and we made it to OC, but now it has been 5 days since I've heard from him. ... ” – goldengirl7676

Join the “Close or leave open?” discussion

“My guess is that the 30 seconds is after meeting in real life, not online. If so, I believe it. It takes me less that 5 minutes to do the same. Not quite 30 seconds, but then I'm a guy and I've ... ” – StuckOnYou

Join the “Ladies, do you decide in the first 30 seconds if you're interetsed? And, what are you looking for in a first impression?” discussion

“Did you get a Civic or an Accord?” – PY_2

Join the “I fell in love with my car salesman,someone help me” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:36 pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2010, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0