Can i be to young to have found the one??


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Harvey7 is offline Harvey7 Post #11  November 1,2009, 1:10pm

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Arguing is a very normal way of expressing your frustrations or displeasure with a situation that was poorly handled or someone did something dumb. Losing ones temper and striking out or hitting someone is not and should not be tolerated under any condition. But when the air has cleared you make up!

There is a saying: Youth is wasted on the young! What do you think it means? Experience good, bad and indifference is the sum total of who you are, loved or unloved.

Do you live with your boyfriend or do you live home with your parents? Are you going to go to a college or a trade school. You have to make a place in the world for yourself or you'll always be a dirtbagger.
You have to get an education to get an reasonably good job or you'll wind up in a service type job, waiting on other people it takes a reasonable income to live in a nice place and to enjoy life.

Before you give yourself over to somebody who you love, learn to love yourself. Learn to depend on yourself and you'll never be disappointed. Life is full of disappointments and the people that disappoint you the most are the ones that you trust! It's OK to love someone but you must have a personal plan foe success and each of you share your love an success with each other. What is important to you at 18 will not be that important to you at 28 years old. The difference is (Experience!)

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beautifulgenius is offline beautifulgenius Post #12  November 1,2009, 7:24pm
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Some people are supposed to find their first loves very early in life. Others want a little time to discover who they are, where they are going and what they want to do. Love is not fleeting, and at any age you should be able to tell whether or not it's going to last or just be in your life for a short time. You sound very young, needing to find yourself, and maybe life has something more to offer.
 
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natka is offline natka Post #13  November 2,2009, 4:47am
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if you think that there is someone who can make you happier than you do not belong with this person. when you know someone is your soulmate you can feel it in everybone of your body and you put complete faith in this person.
i have those days too. what if he does leave me? this seems too good to be true? i have hysterical fits sometimes where i realize how much he can damage me.
The truth is you cannot worry about it. you will drive yourself crazy. if you love him and he's the one then give him everything you have. and if you are the one for him he will give you everything you have.
but don't hold on for the wrong reasons to the guy. and let everything flow and be patient which is probably the most difficult thing to do
 
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Jandris is offline Jandris Post #14  November 2,2009, 6:51am
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It is not dependent on age. It depends on the people. You will know when you find 'the one'.
 
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mnsnowflake is offline mnsnowflake Post #15  November 2,2009, 10:07am

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BikerBeagle wrote :
It doesn't sound like you have been with this guy for very long ...? ...but conflict isn't a 'bad' thing, necessarily, and nothing to be afraid on a relationship unless with a constant thing without any of those issues being addressed and resolved - like if you find yourselves fighting over the same thing over and over, etc.


I would never say that you are too young to be "in love", but by your own admission, your gut is telling you something else here ...that he probably isn't for you - or, at least, giving you enough doubt to question it. And, in my experience, if your gut is causing you to ask the question, then you probably already know the answer.

Don't let this guy sway you with sugary words of love and life if that's not what you want.

You are afraid to hurt him ...that's not a good enough reason to stay with him if you aren't 'feeling' it. It's not wrong to stay with him if you are simply unsure of your feelings for him and want to give it a chance, but given the doubt you are already having, I'd say it would be wrong if you are just leading him on because you are scared of an unknown future without him.

He's your first and, as you said (which is, by the way, very mature of you), it comes with it's own amount of 'connection' that may or may not be real. If it's validity that you want, I'd say that it's probably ok - given your ages and the fact that the two of you are obviously in different life stages (he's looking to get married and settle down, you aren't) - to let this one go. Make no mistake, it's probably going to hurt - badly - but any more so than tormenting yourself with doubt now and regret later?
Bikerbeagle said pretty much what I would have said. It's good advice...good luck to you!
 
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Dugl is offline Dugl Post #16  November 2,2009, 2:11pm
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Butterfly991 wrote :
hey hi
I'm new here but i really need some advice, i'm in a relationship with this guy who is 24 (i'm 18)
You'll meet other guys when you're away at college.... you are going to go to college right ?
 
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Dafearon is offline Dafearon Post #17  November 3,2009, 9:37am
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I think the answer is no, you can't be too young to have found the one. You maybe too young to APPRECIATE the one.

I say this because the "one" (which i hate using this term by the way) is the "one" because you've gone through some experience and this "one" is the one for you. At 18, you probably haven't experienced that much, so in the vacuum, its very hard to distinguish the "one", vs. a "one".

Sometimes, meeting the love of your life at the wrong time in your life is just as bad, if not worse, then never meeting the love of your life.
 
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stevex is offline stevex Post #18  November 3,2009, 1:24pm
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I am very cynical when it comes to the idea of "The One". I am not so sure the idea of soul mates exist, an I believe that statistically speaking there are likely hundreds if not thousands of people in this world that would be compatible for you.

With that said, I wouldn't worry about arguing, it is natural and you will always argue. The fact that you stated he was a bit of a jealous guy is a bit of a red flag but only goes to show that he does indeed care about you or at least desires to have you and hopes that you will stay with him.

I think it doesn't matter if he is the one or not, if you two enjoy eachother's company and have a overall good relationship than continue enjoying the relationship and don't let the pressure get to you or him.
 
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Butterfly991 is offline Butterfly991 Post #19  November 9,2009, 2:38am
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wow, well what all of you have said does make sence, and has helped alot so thanks to you all,

with him being jealous i have found its tought me alot and i appreciate that from him. i stay at home, my parents like him alot and i am happy being with him, i'v recently moved to New Zealand from South Africa, and so have been through and am going through a great deal, so i see what you mean with finding someone at the wrong time...thou i must say, i am very glad i found him, he does make me smile. i'v brought this "worry up" simply because i'm also at a stage where the teenage part of me is wearing off and i feel an adult forming within, its scary to say the least but natural i guess, and becoming an adult means i have to at least start a life...if you will... and society today has outlined the obvious get into a career, make as much money as you can, find a man, buy a house and settle down...(basic outline) i am not fond of this as i believe its over rated, i feel i should be doing more, thou it comes down to...i haven't got a clue as to what i want to do, become, or make of my life,
i'm the kind of person who is more like a dog, in a sence that companionship is important to me, i love socializing, and being with someone who adores me just as much as i do them....

which i finaly brings me to my "issue"
i have foud him to be a challenge, he does have his down falls this i know, but disite all that, i care for him very much...and he care's for me very much too, but in saying that do i put my all into our relationship? i have come to the conclusion that i might not be with him forever(in a realistic way of course) but think we will still go strong for a couple of years....i am willing to do that simply because he is very special to me, the work is not a problem, but knowing it might not work is the part i hate ....everything in the universe has a might not work stamp on it...as everythhing in life is very fragile.
and is it posible for me to make a life of my own with someone beside me? we shair many things incomman but he has a dimmer view on life compaired to me. it all just seems like i might be wasting my time dweeling over it....do i take a chance and give this relationship my all?
(knowing it MIGHT just crumble, or be that one in a million that are still toghther 50 years later??)
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #20  November 9,2009, 6:50am
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You sound like you think about important things and have a lot of self awareness! That's great!

At 18 you don't have to make any quick decisions ... no need to decide right now whether he's your life partner or not. You enjoy him, care about him, don't know where it's going to go. Sounds perfectly fine!

I'll just repeat what I said before ... don't do anything you can't undo until you feel sure. Good luck!
 
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