Should You Really

I absolutely do not stay friends with ex's. It has become such a cliche - people often say it because they don't want to completely hurt the other's feelings. It's like an escape hatch that many people don't honestly intend to use.

If I am the 'dumpee', why would I want to accept what is essentially a demotion in my ex's life, especially if I still have really strong feelings for him? What happens if he starts seeing someone else before I've healed and moved on? Am I going to be happy with the occasional table scrap of a text or email message from him, which is likely the best I can hope for? I respect myself far more than that.

There are reasons people break up. In my mind, the friendship aspect of the relationship likely wasn't on solid ground to begin with. How does discontinuing the sexual aspect solve the rest of the problems that led to the break-up in the first place?

I agreed to "be friends" with an ex once, but it quickly became apparent it was more about him keeping his ego intact than it was about any of my feelings. So I cut him loose and vowed never again.

This, by the way, goes the other way too: If I am the 'dumper', I would rather hurt someone quickly and get it over with, than prolong their agony, just so I can tell myself how swell I am."