jojogirl1964 is offline jojogirl1964 Post #21  October 31,2009, 7:58pm
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Well, man are visual creatures, and the invention of the internet has given men the vehicle to fullfill that need for visual stimualtion a lot easier then they could 30 yrs ago.
I think there needs to be some open discussion with your partner, but only discuss it with him if you are open to hearing the truth. If he enjoys watching porn and you have never viewed it maybe you could both watch something together, and then make a decision as to wether it is going to course a problem in your relationship,,,,if it is a big deal for you, only you, can make the decision to move on,,,because believe me,,,he is not going to stop watching porn, unless there is another itch that he needs scratching and you work out what it is.
 
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notquiteforgotten is offline notquiteforgotten Post #22  November 1,2009, 7:58am
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My boyfriend looks at porn and I know about it. I just brought it up one day and I told him that I'm okay with it as long as he doesn't do it when I am around. Maybe you should just sit down and talk to him about it. If you have a good relationship, you should be able to talk about any concerns, even if it is a bit uncomfortable at first. If he doesn't stop looking it up with you around, then yes, he has a problem. But my bet is that he didn't even think it would be a big deal if he just googled something really quick while you werent with him. Just give him a chance to prove it's not about you. Most guys look at porn. Talk to him and see where it gets you. Either way, it will be resolved.
 
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beautifulgenius is offline beautifulgenius Post #23  November 1,2009, 8:31pm
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Harvey7 wrote :

Your opinion about an obsession is based on what factual information?

Harvey7.
And I am guessing you are all fact and no fiction???
 
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beautifulgenius is offline beautifulgenius Post #24  November 1,2009, 8:45pm
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Personally, I would walk away...for good. Don't bring it up that you found it, because, as one of us put it, you did happen to just be looking around, and everyone does it , occasionally, find something we don't like. A love note from another woman, the look of pain going across your loved ones face when we realize that the person we thought we were closest to, has betrayed us with another. It's better to just to let sleeping dogs lie, and let their transgressions catch up to them at a later time. Unless you want to confront him, and then it's anyone's guess what will happen and what he will say or do to appease you.
 
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Harvey7 is offline Harvey7 Post #25  November 1,2009, 11:35pm

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beautifulgenius wrote :
And I am guessing you are all fact and no fiction???
We have not heard a word from the accused! He is entitled to due process, the rest is speculation.

Harvey7.
 
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sideline is offline sideline Post #26  November 2,2009, 6:03am
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I confronted him regarding the porn when he was at my house the next day...He didnt realize I would be upset and he didnt know what to say at the time so he left. I never heard from him since. We have broken up a few times before , but not in the last 8 months. During those times that he thought it was over he would go on plenty of fish. Curious me.....I thought we had a better relationship than this....anyway I thought I am going to see if he is on Plenty of Fish and sure enought there he was...how can he leave one relationship that quickly and jump to another without any discussion or communication. I called him and he thought since he never heard from me that it was over.
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #27  November 2,2009, 8:49am
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Well ... perhaps he is more comfortable with those fantasy 2-D women than with real ones? Very sorry!
 
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Harvey7 is offline Harvey7 Post #28  November 2,2009, 10:38am

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sideline wrote :
I confronted him regarding the porn when he was at my house the next day...He didnt realize I would be upset and he didnt know what to say at the time so he left. I never heard from him since. We have broken up a few times before , but not in the last 8 months. During those times that he thought it was over he would go on plenty of fish. Curious me.....I thought we had a better relationship than this....anyway I thought I am going to see if he is on Plenty of Fish and sure enought there he was...how can he leave one relationship that quickly and jump to another without any discussion or communication. I called him and he thought since he never heard from me that it was over.
Why confront him? You made him lose face and embarrassed him over a web site? Now what did you gain?
Whereas the low key discussion would have opened the door emotional issue door for a real response and greater communications on that level...
Forgetaboutit!

Harvey7.
 
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BrickWallsBreak is offline BrickWallsBreak Post #29  November 2,2009, 2:54pm
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Stop defending the guy, Harvey. He clearly sees women as objects, which is why he was on PlentyoFish the next day and didn't have the guts to discuss the issue with the woman he had a relationship with for over a year ... he is a loser and she is better off without him.

Confronted, talked, discussed ... what does it matter? The guy is a creep and she found out early enough to avoid his 'issues'.
 
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Harvey7 is offline Harvey7 Post #30  November 2,2009, 8:04pm

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BrickWallsBreak wrote :
Stop defending the guy, Harvey. He clearly sees women as objects, which is why he was on PlentyoFish the next day and didn't have the guts to discuss the issue with the woman he had a relationship with for over a year ... he is a loser and she is better off without him.

Confronted, talked, discussed ... what does it matter? The guy is a creep and she found out early enough to avoid his 'issues'.

Rather narrow point of view considering she was snooping! I was looking at the poorly handled communications process which could have raised the level of communication, but it didn't happen. I guess your not the type one invites over to watch a video with them.

Harvey7
Last edited by Harvey7; November 2,2009 at 8:08pm.
 
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