To Be Introduced to His Friends -- Do's & Don'ts?

I have lived in Holland and the Dutch are very open, friendly and funny. You can be sure to have a good time.

When living in Holland, I visited the pilgrim museum in Leiden and the guide told this great story. During the war between the United States of America and the British Empire, the Dutch joined the American side. At that time a very common name in Holland was Jan Kees and the British taunted them calling them all Jan Kees. Guess which word Jan Kees became - yankees!

One of my close friends is Dutch. The first conversation we ever had was about how much she hated America and Americans and how we were all repressed and religious and the entire middle of the country (where I am from) is all the same and filled with conservative Christians who couldn't speak more than one language, blah, blah, blah......I told her off, we got into a big conversation/argument, both of us cried at some point, drank three bottles of wine and have been great friends ever since.

In general, the Dutch are very liberal, much more liberal than a person in the US who calls himself/herself liberal. And they tend not to shy away from arguing. If you are like me, any chance to have an argument about politics or religion is a chance for a good time, but unless you are really confident about this guy, you might want to avoid those topics.

It just shows that there some people that you can't take anywhere, it showed a lack of class as well as being crass!

Harvey7.

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The point is that the OP is lucky to have fair warning of the pressure situation coming her way. I had no warning and was in the middle of a difficult relationship coversation. And he sprung the friends thing on me with no warning. And his friends then bought us some very strong drinks on top of a stressful situation where I was out later than normal on a Friday night that I was never expecting to happen. I wasn't drunk so much as I was exhausted since I work earlier in the morning than any of the other people involved.

The only thing crass is your remark to me.

To Daphnie. My ex-fiance was Dutch.

Typically, they disklike overt shows of wealth, ging, an, and American wastefulness.....though they are oil people maybe they are the odd ones!

Usually they speak really good English so that shouldn't be too bad. I find that the best thing is to often ask more questions than talk about myself....they are from Holland, ask them about their lives there and what they like and dislike about America.

Good luck, I wish I could have a do-over and could plan ahead! We were in the middle of a stressful situation and it was not at all ideal...but overall kind of funny and we all got along well.

I guess sometimes relationships are awkward and messy....if they never are I guess we are not really living real life!

Well, I certainly didn't post it looking for criticism or advice, its not even my thread. Of course it was not an ideal situation.

The thing is I can poke fun of myself, and realize that we are all human, and was injecting a bit of humor for the OP. She is lucky to go into things with a mindset that she will be ready and behave accordingly, I didn't have that luxury. I already had 3 glasses of wine when the friends showed up, which was going to be my stopping point.

The larger message though, is that relationships often develop even when things go wrong, are embarassing, and when we are not perfect.

If you do or say something stupid...if he defends you, THAT is class.

And that is the point. If he still likes you and accepts you even if you...figurativley or not, fall on your face, you have a keeper.

The message is. It's not just about you imperssing them. Be aware of how he treats you too....and how forgiving he is of your mistakes.

What happened to me has already happened. Personal comments about my....lack of class, 'crudeness' and lack of self control are highly inflammatory and totally unnesscary and useless to the op, and to me.

I was embarassed. But the truth is my friend put me in a situation that I could have judged him for too. We could have went home and agreed to see the friends at another time..... a time where we were not discussing our relationship or having some stress, a time that was planned where I might even have reconsidered my outfit or started out with a different mindset. A time where I had not already hae 3 glasses of wine.

But I have not judged him for that, either.