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Daphnie Daphnie is offline
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Mokkesofie wrote :
I have lived in Holland and the Dutch are very open, friendly and funny. You can be sure to have a good time.

When living in Holland, I visited the pilgrim museum in Leiden and the guide told this great story. During the war between the United States of America and the British Empire, the Dutch joined the American side. At that time a very common name in Holland was Jan Kees and the British taunted them calling them all Jan Kees. Guess which word Jan Kees became - yankees!
So Yankee is originally from Holland Thank you for sharing this, Sofie. It's so sweet of you. Now I start to think that his close friends must have something in common with him. That being said, I shouldn't be anxious to be around people who are like him, right?
- October 27th, 2009, 12:53 pm
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lil_lamb lil_lamb is offline
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don't make personal comments about anyone (present or not) unless they're compliments.
- October 27th, 2009, 01:31 pm
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lululu lululu is offline
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lululu needs to meet a guy on her own continent.

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One of my close friends is Dutch. The first conversation we ever had was about how much she hated America and Americans and how we were all repressed and religious and the entire middle of the country (where I am from) is all the same and filled with conservative Christians who couldn't speak more than one language, blah, blah, blah......I told her off, we got into a big conversation/argument, both of us cried at some point, drank three bottles of wine and have been great friends ever since.

In general, the Dutch are very liberal, much more liberal than a person in the US who calls himself/herself liberal. And they tend not to shy away from arguing. If you are like me, any chance to have an argument about politics or religion is a chance for a good time, but unless you are really confident about this guy, you might want to avoid those topics.
- October 27th, 2009, 01:42 pm
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Daphnie Daphnie is offline
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lululu wrote :
One of my close friends is Dutch. The first conversation we ever had was about how much she hated America and Americans and how we were all repressed and religious and the entire middle of the country (where I am from) is all the same and filled with conservative Christians who couldn't speak more than one language, blah, blah, blah......I told her off, we got into a big conversation/argument, both of us cried at some point, drank three bottles of wine and have been great friends ever since.

In general, the Dutch are very liberal, much more liberal than a person in the US who calls himself/herself liberal. And they tend not to shy away from arguing. If you are like me, any chance to have an argument about politics or religion is a chance for a good time, but unless you are really confident about this guy, you might want to avoid those topics.
What a story about you and your friend! Neither my date nor I am confrontational or argumentative. So I am not quite concerned about getting into heated discussion on politics, at least not yet. But thanks a lot for the heads-up.
- October 27th, 2009, 02:10 pm
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Mokkesofie Mokkesofie is online now
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I saw Bruce Willis browsing in a porn shop in Amsterdam.

Just sayin'
- October 27th, 2009, 02:12 pm
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Jato87 Jato87 is offline
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I'll offer three suggestions:

1. As graceventually said, find out some details about them and their positions, and then show some real interest by asking more than superficial questions about their work and homeland. Ask some details. They'll be highly impressed with you if you get one or more to talk about themselves.

2. You appear nervous about measuring up to their expectations. Give yourself an "attitude adjustment" by placing yourself at the top of this situation rather than the bottom. Realize that they might very well go back home and rave to their friends about this incredible woman they met at dinner.

3. I'm not sure how to relate it, but your situation makes me think of Julia Roberts in the dinner scene in the movie "Pretty Woman." While she had to be taught how to use the utensils, still she was the show-stopper because of her natural unpretentious charm. (include this thought in attitude adjustment above.)
- October 27th, 2009, 03:03 pm
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cp30 cp30 is offline
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Harvey7 wrote :
It just shows that there some people that you can't take anywhere, it showed a lack of class as well as being crass!

Harvey7.
this post has been reported.

The point is that the OP is lucky to have fair warning of the pressure situation coming her way. I had no warning and was in the middle of a difficult relationship coversation. And he sprung the friends thing on me with no warning. And his friends then bought us some very strong drinks on top of a stressful situation where I was out later than normal on a Friday night that I was never expecting to happen. I wasn't drunk so much as I was exhausted since I work earlier in the morning than any of the other people involved.

The only thing crass is your remark to me.

To Daphnie. My ex-fiance was Dutch.

Typically, they disklike overt shows of wealth, bragging, and American wastefulness.....though they are oil people maybe they are the odd ones!

Usually they speak really good English so that shouldn't be too bad. I find that the best thing is to often ask more questions than talk about myself....they are from Holland, ask them about their lives there and what they like and dislike about America.

Good luck, I wish I could have a do-over and could plan ahead! We were in the middle of a stressful situation and it was not at all ideal...but overall kind of funny and we all got along well.

I guess sometimes relationships are awkward and messy....if they never are I guess we are not really living real life!
- October 27th, 2009, 06:40 pm
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Harvey7 Harvey7 is offline
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cp30 wrote :
this post has been reported.

The point is that the OP is lucky to have fair warning of the pressure situation coming her way. I had no warning and was in the middle of a difficult relationship coversation. And he sprung the friends thing on me with no warning. And his friends then bought us some very strong drinks on top of a stressful situation where I was out later than normal on a Friday night that I was never expecting to happen. I wasn't drunk so much as I was exhausted since I work earlier in the morning than any of the other people involved.

The only thing crass is your remark to me.

To Daphnie. My ex-fiance was Dutch.

Typically, they disklike overt shows of wealth, ging, an, and American wastefulness.....though they are oil people maybe they are the odd ones!

Usually they speak really good English so that shouldn't be too bad. I find that the best thing is to often ask more questions than talk about myself....they are from Holland, ask them about their lives there and what they like and dislike about America.

Good luck, I wish I could have a do-over and could plan ahead! We were in the middle of a stressful situation and it was not at all ideal...but overall kind of funny and we all got along well.

I guess sometimes relationships are awkward and messy....if they never are I guess we are not really living real life!

All you had to say was no thank you! So you reported that you were drunk and disorderly and fell on your face because of a lack of self control. If you did not want any comments, why did you post it?

Harvey7.
- October 27th, 2009, 11:20 pm
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cp30 cp30 is offline
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Well, I certainly didn't post it looking for criticism or advice, its not even my thread. Of course it was not an ideal situation.

The thing is I can poke fun of myself, and realize that we are all human, and was injecting a bit of humor for the OP. She is lucky to go into things with a mindset that she will be ready and behave accordingly, I didn't have that luxury. I already had 3 glasses of wine when the friends showed up, which was going to be my stopping point.

The larger message though, is that relationships often develop even when things go wrong, are embarassing, and when we are not perfect.

If you do or say something stupid...if he defends you, THAT is class.

And that is the point. If he still likes you and accepts you even if you...figurativley or not, fall on your face, you have a keeper.

The message is. It's not just about you imperssing them. Be aware of how he treats you too....and how forgiving he is of your mistakes.

What happened to me has already happened. Personal comments about my....lack of class, 'crudeness' and lack of self control are highly inflammatory and totally unnesscary and useless to the op, and to me.

I was embarassed. But the truth is my friend put me in a situation that I could have judged him for too. We could have went home and agreed to see the friends at another time..... a time where we were not discussing our relationship or having some stress, a time that was planned where I might even have reconsidered my outfit or started out with a different mindset. A time where I had not already hae 3 glasses of wine.

But I have not judged him for that, either.
- October 27th, 2009, 11:32 pm
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Harvey7 Harvey7 is offline
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cp30 wrote :
Well, I certainly didn't post it looking for criticism or advice, its not even my thread. Of course it was not an ideal situation.

The thing is I can poke fun of myself, and realize that we are all human, and was injecting a bit of humor for the OP. She is lucky to go into things with a mindset that she will be ready and behave accordingly, I didn't have that luxury. I already had 3 glasses of wine when the friends showed up, which was going to be my stopping point.

The larger message though, is that relationships often develop even when things go wrong, are embarassing, and when we are not perfect.

If you do or say something stupid...if he defends you, THAT is class.

And that is the point. If he still likes you and accepts you even if you...figurativley or not, fall on your face, you have a keeper.

The message is. It's not just about you imperssing them. Be aware of how he treats you too....and how forgiving he is of your mistakes.

What happened to me has already happened. Personal comments about my....lack of class, 'crudeness' and lack of self control are highly inflammatory and totally unnesscary and useless to the op, and to me.

I was embarassed. But the truth is my friend put me in a situation that I could have judged him for too. We could have went home and agreed to see the friends at another time..... a time where we were not discussing our relationship or having some stress, a time that was planned where I might even have reconsidered my outfit or started out with a different mindset. A time where I had not already hae 3 glasses of wine.

But I have not judged him for that, either.
It's still no thanks guys, I've already had 3 drinks!
The lesson is were you planning on driving home drunk? Possibly getting arrested for DWI?

The lessons is poor decision making because you did not have self control or fore thought, as to how are you going to make it home to your kids? Safe and sound takes a bit of fore thought, before you accept the next drink!

Your blaming his friends, your blaming me, but who's responsibility is it? That's the lesson.

Harvey7.
- October 28th, 2009, 12:42 am
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