shyguy69 is offline shyguy69 Post #1  October 24,2009, 4:52pm
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i have a lady freind with a teen aged son who has just started exploring.she wants to know how to approach the subject as the weather he is wearing protection without causing either of them any embaresment.anyone who can help?
 
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Harvey7 is offline Harvey7 Post #2  October 25,2009, 11:51am

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shyguy69 wrote :
i have a lady freind with a teen aged son who has just started exploring.she wants to know how to approach the subject as the weather he is wearing protection without causing either of them any embaresment.anyone who can help?

Not her job, is she going to teach him how to put it on? That is the job of of a sexual educator in the public schools which teach both boys and girls how to have safe sex. She can ask him if he has learned in sex education how to have safe sex?

Harvey7.
 
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Sassafras54 is online now Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #3  October 25,2009, 12:00pm
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Feeling embarrassed for a little while is nothing to what she will feel if her son becomes a 16-year-old father or an HIV patient. She needs to forge ahead and have the talk. If she just can't do it, she needs to arrange for his father, uncle, older brother, family friend, school counselor, coach ... SOMEBODY to do it.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #4  October 25,2009, 12:25pm
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Harvey7 wrote :

Not her job, is she going to teach him how to put it on? That is the job of of a sexual educator in the public schools which teach both boys and girls how to have safe sex. She can ask him if he has learned in sex education how to have safe sex?

Harvey7.
It's not a mother's job to inquire about whether her son is having safe sex? It's the job of the school? That's really rich.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #5  October 25,2009, 12:57pm
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I think Harvey7's post has merit.

I'd wager that most people are too misinformed to offer useful information.

It's a parent's role to express concern for the child's well-being, and to provide a moral framework (as a suggestion, not a mandate), but the school is required to teach the subject matter, and the teachers are qualified with correct data.
 
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dahlimema is offline dahlimema Post #6  October 25,2009, 1:06pm
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Does she feel she can discuss this with her son? If so she could talk to him. I have 3 sons when they were teenagers I explained all about sex and STD and unplanned pregnancy. I told them it was their responsibility for bc and protection. Yes Harry I showed them how to put them on by using a Banana of course. To this day they joke about it when they tell me their dating some one they say, yes Mom I'm using potection. Except that youngest one of mine LOL. Thats how I got my grandson. He never did listen to me anyway ( where did my smileys go?)
 
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trixie1868 is offline trixie1868 Post #7  October 25,2009, 2:23pm

what the bejeezus is going on round here?!

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Harvey7 wrote :
Not her job, is she going to teach him how to put it on? That is the job of of a sexual educator in the public schools which teach both boys and girls how to have safe sex. She can ask him if he has learned in sex education how to have safe sex?

Harvey7.
It sooooo is her job. School, I am sure, has done it's bit, now she needs to be a parent and recognise her share of the responsibility ~ and she does so good for her.

Just buy the condoms. Leave them in his room. Mention it later, very briefly, say it's ok and you're there to talk to if he wants to. He knows what they are and how to use them (teenagers do). If they don't have the kind of relationship where she has been an active part of his sex education it will be awkward but not more awkward than dealing with an unwanted pregnancy.

I teach sex ed at elementary level. We try very hard to be as responsible as we can to ensure that the kids have as much information as they can handle in as factual a way as possible. We figure it keeps them safe. We neither promote sexual experimentation nor pass on any moral message as this would not be appropriate for state paid educators. I don't know the US curriculum but best practise is best practise. Then it really it is down to the parents to make sure that their offspring are prepared emotionally and practically before they start actually having sex.

We teach healthy eating but expect parents to cook the meals!
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #8  October 25,2009, 2:52pm
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Thanks to "abstinence only" curriculums, many schools are not allowed to discuss birth control options in their sex ed classes.

It is a parent's job to discuss sex and birth control with their kids. A lot of parenting involves some embarrassment. Get over it and step up to the plate.

If you absolutely cannot bring yourself to do so, contact a Planned Parenthood office and ask them about upcoming sex ed classes in your area. Then make sure your kid gets to it.
 
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KungFuFtr is offline KungFuFtr Post #9  October 25,2009, 3:20pm
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I just saved a bundle on child support by switching to condoms!

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It's certainly her job to teach her kids. A return demonstration can display if the child learned what was taught. She could always have a guy show them, perhaps an uncle or you. There are tons of videos out there too. Condoms are only good if you have them available too. Buy some for the kid.


YouTube - eXtreme Sex Ed: How To Put On A Condom
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #10  October 25,2009, 6:50pm
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It is absolutely a mother (or dad's) job to make sure her children are informed on all ox these matters. As for doing it wo embarrassment, I suggest acknowledging up front that you feel awkward but that the discussion is important, then just be very matter of fact about it and as brief as you can be.

I think ideally you take small opportunities to discuss it as well all along the way. Things come up in movies and every day that make good chances to talk about some aspect or other wo too much awkwardness. And the more comfortable you become talking about it the more likely they will be to come to you if there is a real problem.
 
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