Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Relationships Relationships: they have their ups and their downs. Share your joy or weather the storm in this discussion board.

Reply
Page 2 of 2 1 2
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
1passionatefem 1passionatefem is offline
1passionatefem's Avatar

1passionatefem Dreaming about summer vacation

Pacesetter

Join Date: Jul 2008

Posts: 293

See profile

The elephant is now in the living room and can be seen. Before you do anything, I would have an open and honest talk with him-no ultimatiums. Have all your questions for him thought out. Have you ever discuseed living together? Is that an option you would consider? Would living together for him for a period of time-help overcome his fears. Talk before you react and break-up
- October 19th, 2009, 10:42 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#11   Reply With Quote
D_Lion D_Lion is offline
D_Lion's Avatar

D_Lion - Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Join Date: Aug 2008

Posts: 11,030

See profile

singinggirl wrote :
D_Lion, he told me when we talked about it that he really just liked having his independence. My impression (understanding?) is that when he was married, he felt like he had to give up who he was and that he always had to answer to someone.

Now this is an actionable concern.

“Independence” can mean a number of different things, like he needs time to play too much golf and lounge on his boat, all the way up to he needs to get a new partner every few years.

I would work on exploring what he means, and think about whether it is compatible with who you are. Who knows … with any luck, his concerns may not even apply to you.
- October 19th, 2009, 06:27 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#12   Reply With Quote
singinggirl singinggirl is offline
singinggirl's Avatar

singinggirl is so glad to be home. :-)

Pacesetter

Join Date: Jan 2008

Posts: 488

See profile

OK. I'm trying this again since I never could get it posted yesterday. Let me just say that y'all are great! I knew that there was a lot of collective wisdom around here and you've shown it to me. Thanks!

Sassafras, you've given me a different perspective on my life and something to really think about. You're right; if I'm not ready to get married again anyway, it doesn't really matter. When and if I decide that I'm ready for that it may be another story. But for now I think it's ok.

1passionatefem, you nailed it. I pretty much knew this was how he felt before any words were spoken. Verbalizing the words simply made it something that I now have to deal with.
- October 20th, 2009, 07:36 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#13   Reply With Quote
Alli824 Alli824 is offline
Alli824's Avatar

Alli824 is at home.

Quick Study

Join Date: Nov 2007

Posts: 84

See profile

Seems to me like he wants you to do the dirty work for him so that he's guilt free. i.e. initiate the break up. Why have someone take up space in your life when you could be out there finding someone who's crazy about you? I don't believe in passing time. Having him around prevents you from meeting other people. Think about this, he picked an interesting time to bring this topic up. It would appear he was looking for an excuse to broach the subject. And he's told you loud and clear this is going nowhere and I would translate it to mean he's not in love and never will be - at least not with you.
Last edited by Alli824; October 20th, 2009 at 08:15 pm.
- October 20th, 2009, 08:12 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#14   Reply With Quote
Reply
Page 2 of 2 1 2

Bookmarks

« New relationship - plans for Christmas??? | Array | Do relationships need "drama"? »
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Would this make me look crazy? carolynn1234 Ask a Dating Expert 10 October 8th, 2009 12:57 am
crazy situations lookingforadvice Ask a Dating Expert 3 September 13th, 2009 01:45 pm
too crazy for love? cp30 Dating 71 August 18th, 2009 11:16 pm
It's been a crazy relationship, Should I let it continue? SizzlinSaguaro Relationships 29 July 19th, 2009 09:49 pm

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“I have been pursued and it didn't work. I feel that if you aren't interested in someone, nothing they do can really change that. I went out with a guy and didn't really feel a connection. Went on a ... ” – Sawyer76

Join the “does persistance pay off?” discussion

“Believe that everything happens for a reason so what will be, will be. If you two are meant to be together then everything will work out, regardless if you mess up a bit or hit some bumps in the ... ” – Sawyer76

Join the “always so paranoid” discussion

“I actually think the variety in response is quite helpful. Even Harvey had a valid point to consider though you might not like his bedside manners. This woman needs to understand why she chose ... ” – nightling

Join the “Frustrated & Confused: Is He A Sexual Addict???” discussion

“ Nice Melcalrrt. I have to tell you I am a runner too and every time I see a runner with a prosthetic running leg I am in awe. I always think if that happened to me I hope I have the courage and ... ” – sqg123

Join the “Girls stop communicating after seeing my pix” discussion

“Yes I'd say he likes you a lot, but has some confidence issues. If you're interested, keep taking the initiative and ask him on a low-stress date like roguewolf suggested. He may gain confidence ... ” – kevin76

Join the “i have a problem understanding this guy!” discussion

“I rather fear with this thread that we are in danger of overlooking the fact that men do fall in love with women that they start off "just" having sex with. It is not always so but it does happen ... ” – nightling

Join the “bootycall” discussion

“ScottK you are viewing the eHarmony Personality Profile Questionnaire questions on conservative and liberal as being political questions. Here is a hint THAT IS NOT WHAT IS BEING ASKED.” – Gr8Guyn2008

Join the “Hypocritical Match?” discussion

“ While a lot of other sites, Match and Yahoo! Personals being two, show when someone was last logged in, eHarmony does not. FYI though you did not ask, I understand that POF now not only shows when ... ” – Gr8Guyn2008

Join the “How to find this?” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:24 am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0