The Road to Nowhere-Crazy?


Reply
  • Page 2 of 2
  • 1
  • 2
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
1passionatefem is offline 1passionatefem Post #11  October 19,2009, 9:42am
1passionatefe…'s Avatar

Dreaming about summer vacation

Pacesetter

Joined: Jul 2008

Pennsylvania

Posts: 301

See profile

The elephant is now in the living room and can be seen. Before you do anything, I would have an open and honest talk with him-no ultimatiums. Have all your questions for him thought out. Have you ever discuseed living together? Is that an option you would consider? Would living together for him for a period of time-help overcome his fears. Talk before you react and break-up
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #12  October 19,2009, 5:27pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

NJ

Posts: 30,743

See profile

singinggirl wrote :
D_Lion, he told me when we talked about it that he really just liked having his independence. My impression (understanding?) is that when he was married, he felt like he had to give up who he was and that he always had to answer to someone.

Now this is an actionable concern.

“Independence” can mean a number of different things, like he needs time to play too much golf and lounge on his boat, all the way up to he needs to get a new partner every few years.

I would work on exploring what he means, and think about whether it is compatible with who you are. Who knows … with any luck, his concerns may not even apply to you.
 
  Reply With Quote
singinggirl is offline singinggirl Post #13  October 20,2009, 6:36pm
singinggirl's Avatar

Happy

Veteran

Joined: Jan 2008

Tennessee

Posts: 1,686

See profile

OK. I'm trying this again since I never could get it posted yesterday. Let me just say that y'all are great! I knew that there was a lot of collective wisdom around here and you've shown it to me. Thanks!

Sassafras, you've given me a different perspective on my life and something to really think about. You're right; if I'm not ready to get married again anyway, it doesn't really matter. When and if I decide that I'm ready for that it may be another story. But for now I think it's ok.

1passionatefem, you nailed it. I pretty much knew this was how he felt before any words were spoken. Verbalizing the words simply made it something that I now have to deal with.
 
  Reply With Quote
Alli824 is offline Alli824 Post #14  October 20,2009, 7:12pm
Alli824's Avatar

thinks opportunities do have a shelf life.

Enthusiast

Joined: Nov 2007

Fort Lauderdale

Posts: 914

See profile

Seems to me like he wants you to do the dirty work for him so that he's guilt free. i.e. initiate the break up. Why have someone take up space in your life when you could be out there finding someone who's crazy about you? I don't believe in passing time. Having him around prevents you from meeting other people. Think about this, he picked an interesting time to bring this topic up. It would appear he was looking for an excuse to broach the subject. And he's told you loud and clear this is going nowhere and I would translate it to mean he's not in love and never will be - at least not with you.
Last edited by Alli824; October 20,2009 at 7:15pm.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 2 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« New relationship - plans for Christmas??? | Relationships | Do relationships need "drama"? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Would this make me look crazy? carolynn1234 Ask a Dating Expert 10 October 7,2009 11:57pm
crazy situations lookingforadvice Ask a Dating Expert 3 September 13,2009 12:45pm
too crazy for love? cp30 Dating 71 August 18,2009 10:16pm
Crazy places you've .... . . pds857 let's talk about sex 13 August 16,2009 9:08am
It's been a crazy relationship, Should I let it continue? SizzlinSaguaro Relationships 29 July 19,2009 8:49pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“It's important to understand the way a site works. Rigidly assuming / insisting that eH works likes all the others you're used to isn't utilizing the site functions to your best advantage. No.... ... ” –  Wiseman2

Join the “First contact on eHarmony, smile, questions, email?” discussion

“ If you have yet to meet, you don't know him or whether you two will form a connection. Connections formed over e-mail tend to be fantasies. You will see this echoed over and over by experienced ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “How do i recoonect with him again?” discussion

“ Then it's a bit premature to worry about being friend-zoned. The first step is to go out on dates! What specific steps did you try? How many women did you ask out in person? Did you buy a ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “For women to answer: How to avoid the friend zone” discussion

“ This is an old thread. She asked this in 2010. By now they are likely very exclusive or very over. ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “is there a reason to ask if we're exclusive?” discussion

“ I'm sure he wouldn't get that. And I can't be sure that was the actual message. But it sems kind of likely to me.” –  boomer_gal

Join the “Why am I not successful?” discussion

“Hi eccemuliere and welcome to eHA.On an internet forum like eHA, you're going to get a wide variety of responses; some you'll like and some you won't. It's best to focus on the ones that speak to ... ” –  Sassafras54

Join the “Being blown off, or something else?” discussion

“ Although I have ignored my gut at times, in hindsight it's always been right, in terms of recognizing bad choices. QUOTE] But once we realize our past mistakes, we can use our reason to clue us ... ” –  eccemuliere

Join the “Is Your Gut Leading - or Misleading You?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 5:37am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0