justme27 is offline justme27 Post #1  October 12,2009, 7:11pm
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So, I'm stumped. Ever since joining the community I've learned extensive social skills to initiate and develop relationships. However, this relationship has got me stumped. I'm wondering if I should just get this girl out of my life, remain friends, or just be casual acquaintances.

So I'm new in my program of study-- a graduate degree-- and I've met a lot of people a lot of girls and the like. I've made it my policy to be open to friendships with women who have good traits but whom I'm not attracted to. So I befriend, a girl I will call Intelligent Girl. I'm not attracted to her but you know we joke around a lot and so it's cool.

Well a month ago she was all in tears because she was afraid that she did not understand our material well enough and she was going to fail out of the program. Being the nice guy that I am, I offered to tutor her and help her out.

Here is where it gets weird, at least I think. We have a test last week. I know I did not perform as well I could have because my concentration was on a family emergency--one which I disclosed to her. However, I accept my grade and I know I will do better on the next one. I ask her what her grade is and she doesn't want to tell me. She says she failed and she does not want to disclose her grade. So, I say ok don't worry about it, it is just one test. She said she was crying all morning. So I feel really bad for her.

I find out from another girl, Intelligent Girl got a near perfect score. So I'm confused? I don't care that she got a near perfect score, but why all the drama in the morning? I believed she is closer to me than the other girl, so why would she tell her, her score and not me? Is the relationship officially dysfunctional and should I just remain friendly but distant?

Any advice would be helpful.
 
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kevin76 is offline kevin76 Post #2  October 13,2009, 2:01pm
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She told you she failed and had been crying all morning?
The only possible reason I can think of for that is she's trying to use emotional manipulation to make you pity her. Probably she likes you and that's her way of trying to get to you.

But it's a very unhealthy and rather scary way to go about it. She just destroyed any amount of trust you may have had, and that makes it hard to build any kind of friendship. You can try to remain friendly with her if you want but from now on keep in the back of your mind that she may be lying to you at any time, especially if she tells you any more sob stories.
 
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cardguy is offline cardguy Post #3  October 13,2009, 2:24pm
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Before we go too far down that track: how does the other girl know that IG did really well on the test?
 
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TrixiPooch is offline TrixiPooch Post #4  October 13,2009, 2:40pm
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Maybe IG actually lied to the other girl. If you really are friends, then just ask her. Don't make assumptions.
 
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kevin76 is offline kevin76 Post #5  October 14,2009, 5:22am
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cardguy wrote :
Before we go too far down that track: how does the other girl know that IG did really well on the test?
TrixiPooch wrote :
Maybe IG actually lied to the other girl. If you really are friends, then just ask her. Don't make assumptions.
Okay to be fair I thought of that after I posted and had signed off for the day. That is still a possibility, so you might want to verify how well she actually did if there is a way you can do that.

Then run away screaming.
 
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justme27 is offline justme27 Post #6  October 14,2009, 12:09pm
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Oh sorry this is a double post, but thank you for responding. I've received some great responses. I am going to distance myself from this girl immediately. I don't know she means to be manipulative. This may sound strange but maybe this is her way of scarring me away. Well, either way I'm done. Thanks for all the replies.
 
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