Trying to figure out how she sees me.


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Raw_Truth is offline Raw_Truth Post #21  October 12,2009, 12:28pm
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BikerBeagle wrote :
A woman might offer a different opinion, but I'm of the opinion you've been "friend-zoned". I say that, entirely based on your description of events that she'll do things with you that "friends" do, but won't accept your invitation to do things that "dates" do (walk her home).

She is probably very well aware that you are interested in her ...and she's playing it for all the attention it's worth, but I'm thinking that if you stepped up to the plate for an at-bat, she'll strike you out.
Yep. She's either using the OP or is extremely socially naive.

I would have to say that the OP is very much to blame for the situation - he invested all this time yet never made an overt move.

Either way, 90%+ chance she's not interested romantically. OP should do the best he can to forget it and move on.
 
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LKJ is offline LKJ Post #22  October 12,2009, 12:46pm
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PR_Princess wrote :
God bless your dear Lutheran heart. I'm very proud that you respect this girl's need to study but at the same time persist in getting some downtime with her. I think I would have been a total social chaos if it wasn't for some really good friends who wrestled me from the library every so often. Kanye West means she is well balanced mentally You can't be "good" all the time and I would be suspicious of a person that listen's to Disney tunes on her I-pod all the time. T.V. is okay but you don't want to be relegated to the "friend zone" so you might want to playfully check out that calender of hers and find an outdoor activity. If funds are difficult for you....I remember the University always having activities going on like...Acapella night, Friday night movie in the lecture hall, Spring fling etc..for a nominal fee.

Just a warning....if she feels she has to compete with you and the studies...the studies will win or if you win her grades will plummet. Either way...not a good scenario. She's not responsible for anything she may say or do right before and during mid-terms and finals week. Don't forget those small nice gestures like encouraging her to take a breaks for coffee etc...and if she is on a study streak....bring break time to her. Now you got me missing that hot chocolate they used to make on campus that was thicker than Mississippi mud
Umm, I posted a full reply to this that hasn't yet appeared. It said it was awaiting moderation for some odd reason. Will post some kind of similar reply again if it doesn't show up by the end of the day. In the meantime, thank you so much for your encouragement.
 
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Icouldwriteabook is offline Icouldwriteabook Post #23  October 12,2009, 12:50pm
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So many posts including responses from the OP, but in a nutshell, ask her out on a real date already!!!! Also, since you have participated in friend zone like activities for so long, be sure to let her know that you are really interested in her as more than a friend. You might also add that if she is not interested in a 'date' date, that you still want to be her friend if she is okay with that.
 
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LKJ is offline LKJ Post #24  October 12,2009, 12:54pm
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Raw_Truth wrote :
Yep. She's either using the OP or is extremely socially naive.

I would have to say that the OP is very much to blame for the situation - he invested all this time yet never made an overt move.

Either way, 90%+ chance she's not interested romantically. OP should do the best he can to forget it and move on.
As far as the bolded section goes, I've really tried hard not to drag my feet here. I've been assertive from the word go. I've looked for ways to make an overt move, and my female friends all counseled me by saying that this is a girl who seems like she would want to take things slow, and that I should be patient and not rush things. I trust their judgment, and didn't want to do anything outright stupid.

I appreciate the input, but I do tend to want to defend myself against this charge of botching the situation so far. I really think I've done what I can, within reason.
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #25  October 12,2009, 12:56pm
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You know I kind of hate to mention this. But here is a trick that I have seen some players use. They will offer you some of their food when you're out on a date. If you take them up on it, they can figure it's a safe bet you're not going to be averse to kissing them.

It's subtle enough you can't get into any trouble. If she says no thanks, you're probably not in, although that isn't a given. It's just an indicator and it might give you some clue where she's at on the map when it comes to you without taking any major risk of spoiling the friendship.
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #26  October 12,2009, 12:58pm
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LKJ wrote :
As far as the bolded section goes, I've really tried hard not to drag my feet here. I've been assertive from the word go. I've looked for ways to make an overt move, and my female friends all counseled me by saying that this is a girl who seems like she would want to take things slow, and that I should be patient and not rush things. I trust their judgment, and didn't want to do anything outright stupid.

I appreciate the input, but I do tend to want to defend myself against this charge of botching the situation so far. I really think I've done what I can, within reason.
You haven't done anything wrong in my opinion. It's good to take it slow and make sure a relationship is what you really want and that you're respecting the girl's wishes. Otherwise, you can leave behind a lot of hurt feelings and misunderstandings that are really unnecessary.
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #27  October 12,2009, 1:38pm
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Dude, take her out dancing and see how close she gets, and what she does when the slow song(s) come up. After a night of that, I think you'll have the answers to all your questions.
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #28  October 12,2009, 4:58pm
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I think it's important that you telegraph your interest obviously, and show that you're interested in her romantically and not just a friend.
 
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Conerstop is offline Conerstop Post #29  October 13,2009, 5:37pm
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tell her how you feel. you have nothing to lose. absolutely. at times i have been very interested in someone, but even if they are my best friend, i am not the type of woman to make a move---no matter how liberated i am. and when good friends made a move on me--or should i say told me how they felt, i didn't make it 'weird' for me at all. i was flattered and told them how i felt and we put to rest the situation one way or the other and moved on. DO IT!
 
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sqg123 is offline sqg123 Post #30  October 13,2009, 7:10pm
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My take is she likes you but not that way. Friends only. You're intuition is telling you she is not interested but you keep looking for clues that maybe she really is. Finally, no a girl would not turn down an offer to walk her home if she were interested.
 
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