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jayjay jayjay is offline
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librarybabe wrote :
Just in reference to the "What I love about men thread" that if, as a woman, my Dad or brother or friend from work likes to help me by fixing my car, I shouldn't feel let down if my guy has no clue how to do that. Or if we find, as women, there are some things a guy just doesn't get, but our girlfriends do, why not enjoy the girlfriends who can understand us, instead of always thinking a guy needs to be able to understand as well as a girlfriend?)
Yeah...how or if a woman can 'do' things like cook etc. really mean almost nothing to me regarding how happy I'll be with our relationship. And regarding friends who can 'understand' us....I think sometimes people just want to talk with someone who's simply going to agree with them and tell them they're opinion is completely right....while with your romantic partner we actually have to compromise.
- October 12th, 2009, 09:16 am
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librarybabe librarybabe is offline
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jayjay wrote :
I think sometimes people just want to talk with someone who's simply going to agree with them and tell them they're opinion is completely right....while with your romantic partner we actually have to compromise.
Ha! True! I love to gripe and be told "you are so right!" But I derive the most benefit from my relationships who have shown me other perspectives than my own, and offered me other ways to handle problems than the way I typically do. I'm a pretty smart cookie (when I don't have a cold) so if I'm not handling things in a way that works, I don't really need a friend who isn't going to challenge my thinking.
- October 12th, 2009, 09:31 am
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Mr_Right Mr_Right is offline
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Magic = dopamine, oxytocin, and all those other chemicals running through your brain.

I hear they wear off after two years and get replaced with bonding, relationship chemicals.

Frankly, I suspect that it's possible to keep that feeling of magic alive, it's all in your point of view.
- October 12th, 2009, 05:42 pm
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Isn't anyone else going to answer Lori's thread? It was an interesting question. Pity to allow it disappear on to page 2 with so few people answering.
- October 14th, 2009, 09:25 am
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YYsmiley YYsmiley is offline
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eHA_Admin_Lori wrote :
-do we HAVE to lose that feeling?
No...I will work on it...


eHA_Admin_Lori wrote :
-if not, what can we do to prolong or even keep it throughout the (hopefully long) life of our next relationship?
My plan/ dream:
1. To forget
2. To forgive
3. Not to expect him to bring me flowers, but I will bring flowers to make both of us happy (or just me being happy)
4. Get into a 1-day or 2-day get-away package. (I just found a romantic spa resort that are designed for couples while I search something for me or my girl-friend).
5. Not to drift away or walk away !!

Anything elses? Librarybabe?
- October 14th, 2009, 01:05 pm
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chawks64 chawks64 is offline
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Sure, in the beginning you're focusing on the excitement, and later you get more comfortable, but those feelings of comfort can give you the security to express yourself even more openly. It doesn't have to be best buds that just happen to share a bed. You can flirt and flatter and all of the same things you did in the beginning, and even more so.

Me personally? In my first marriage I probably did close up some due to the nature of the relatonship as a way of protecting myself. The second time around, I really did do everything I could to keep it (ahem) interesting. But there comes a point when you realize that nothing you do is going to have any effect on the other person, and that's a pretty horrible dose of reality. Being alone in a marriage is one of the worst feelings in the world, but you can't control other anyone but yourself.
Last edited by chawks64; October 14th, 2009 at 02:42 pm. Reason: "To" is a two letter word.
- October 14th, 2009, 02:41 pm
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I remember that the "magic" would come and go unexpectedly after the first flush of romance had passed and I kinda liked that.

So I'd be getting on with the less magical chores of everyday life like the ironing or washing up and I'd look across the room and he'd be doing something equally mundane and totally unaware of being watched. Then all of a sudden and for no particular reason I would get that well of excitement in my stomache and I would think to myself "he's mine, and he's exactly what I want".

You go keeping the magic permanently alive and you miss out on those little treats.
- October 14th, 2009, 03:30 pm
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My ex said my tricks were boring and my wand too small.....I'm going to Hogwarts first this time.
- October 14th, 2009, 03:52 pm
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outdoorjeanie outdoorjeanie is offline
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I have always recognized that falling in love and being in a loving relationship are 2 different things, but next time I will try to be less selfish and extend myself more to my partner. I think giving each other more space to "do your own thing" and keeping /keeping you life balanced and interesting to yourself is important in keeping the relationship happy and strong.
- October 14th, 2009, 06:48 pm
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To KEEP the Magic alive, one must find another who understands, appreciates, and they, themselves have "Magic" to offer in return.
I will not be the magician anymore in relationships.....expecting a DOVE to appear, instead, a crazy rabbit!
- October 14th, 2009, 07:20 pm
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