Fear of abandonment that is why I said that they did not do a good job of making him feel secure.

Harvey7.

I don't have my own kids at the moment and may not be in the position to make further judgement. I was sick myself when I was a kid and needed medication throughout the night. However, I was on my own in a seprate bedroom after I started elementary school. I was 6 and a half at that time.

Personally, it looks less odd when fathers sleep with sons and mothers with daughters. But it is a bit difficult for me to understand why a mother still sleeps with her 10yo son (or a dad with daugher). Especially when this boy is old enough to date a girl from his school...

I guess my BF feels a little bit guilty that the kid went ill when he was only 2. My mom blamed herself for my being so sick and all the hush treatment I had to go through as a kid. But I don't remember that I felt self-pity during my childhood and or took it for granted that my parents had to pay me back (spoil me) because of my illness.

This boy would tell me something like "you know I have to go to bed early and if you don't leave before my bedtime, you have to stay over night so that my dad doesn't have to drive you around". First of all, I've never let his dad and him do that. Secondly, I think it's a decision between his dad and me, which we have been managing quite well so far.

The same issue as his son abandonment! Your issue with him is that he does not treat you with love and respect. He has no empathy with your feeling or you.

The difficulty of traveling 140 miles round trip or that you have your own life to live as well and he does nothing to make your life better. Things will not get better by them self over time things will get worse. If you want to speak to his wife pick up the phone and call her, introduce yourself your not a party to their divorce, so she should be rather receptive to a conversation about them and him. Your setting yourself up for a big disappointment with him in the form of heart break.

Harvey7.

He is doing what he feels is best for his son's emotional well being. If you choose to interfer with that YOU ARE HISTORY.
I speak from my own experience of raising three kids on my own. No woman spends the night at my house when the kids are home! I made an acception once and even then I slept on the couch. I will not do that again either as I know it bothered the kids. If distance is an issue get a hotel room.
Addintionally, I have had well intentioned ladies tell me how to raise my kids. They are history.

When we first dated, he was willing to drive close to 25 miles from where I live to meet me and have dinner together (He would pick out the food that i like that put them in my plate. He still does that and this is why I can't forget that he can be very sweet sometimes). He said that he was willing to pick me up and drop me off at home if that was what took him to keep this relationship coz I have to drive 100 miles around trip to work everything while he walks a couple of mile to the office from his apartment.

And then the weekday dates became tough as both of us were very busy at work. He was, at the same time, trying to get the current 2-bed apartment and had some issues with the landlord. He looked frustrated once when he was on the phone with the landlord. Fortunately, everything turned out to fine. We did talked about where we should meet that day. Whether at the place 25 miles from my home or the parking lot 30 miles from my home (5 miles closer to his place). I don't remember how we made the decision, but we met at the 25-mile location. When something else had happened after that date, he brought it up that I was not considerate and decided to meet at that place after he had had a tough day at work (i happened to work from home that day); and that I had never made any efforts driving to his place on weekends. It was at that point that I decided to drive all the way to his place whenever his son was with him (it's more complicated if I told him that i should skip the weekends when his son was there). Then he sent me a msg saying that he felt so bad making me drive all the way...

Ever since I became hesitant whenever he offered me something (such as driving closer to pick me up, etc) coz I don't know whether he really meant it or not. I am quite an independent person and would like to take over responsibilities when I need to. It may not look good in a relationship coz I am the female part. However, I do not want people to do things for me for courtesy while deep inside they really don't feel like to.

It's a good idea to talk to his ex. But I don't have the number (don't even know her name). I don't think I could ask his son to share the number without letting him know. I once asked the boy one simple question about his mom (her job, I think). The answer is "I don't know". )

If that is what the child needs emotionally then that is what they need!