confused09 is offline confused09 Post #1  October 2,2009, 10:03am
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I've been in a committed relationship for several years. Out of nowhere she told me she needs to take a break. Still loves me, still loves the relationship. However, she has begun a demanding academic program and cannot give to the relationship and feels it's not fair to me. I respect her position. My question is that what does "taking a brek" mean. Does it mean it's over? She says she would still like to see me, because we are the best of friends.
 
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DDjr is offline DDjr Post #2  October 2,2009, 4:43pm
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Your relationship may or may not be over.

What you are going to need to do is sit down with her and talk to her about what "taking a break" means. Are you both still exclusive to each other? Has she met someone else that she wants to go out with?
 
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kevin76 is offline kevin76 Post #3  October 2,2009, 6:08pm
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Probably she means exactly what it appears - she's busy academically and can't commit the time to a relationship right now.

That being said, you never know what might happen in that time, or who else might catch her eye.
So I would stay in touch and make sure that when she does have free time, you're around to spend it with her. Just so you still have a spot reserved when she's not so busy any more.
 
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CapnCrunch23 is offline CapnCrunch23 Post #4  October 2,2009, 7:41pm

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At first glance, my first thought was, you're being replaced faster than a black jack dealer, who just dealt 10 consectitive black jacks on a high stakes table!

I have to agree with DDjr .. You do need to sit down with her. b/c it just might be over

Imo..You are no longer the priority, and school was the perfect chance to drop the bomb, She knew you would be very understanding. Like you said' I respect her decision".

What I do not think is fair is, She said she 'still wants to see you b/c your best of friends". So do have some sort of light switch that turns off your romantic side and turns on the friendship side? I know I don't. If I were you I would need my own space for a while before jumping into the BFF role. because you might just end up staying there. I stay let her miss you for awhile. otherwise she is getting her cake!
Last edited by CaptCrunch23; October 3,2009 at 6:16am.
 
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Harvey7 is offline Harvey7 Post #5  October 3,2009, 10:26am

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It means that she will not be there mentally and emotionally for you.

You are taking it as a personal rejection of yourself, which is not what she said, a break is a time out. Now what do people generally do on a time out? What are you going to do with yourself during her time out?
Are you going to sit home and mope waiting for the phone to ring or to txt you?

What you have to do is grow up a bit and keep living your life and have fun and give her a chance to miss you. Maybe your needy and clingy and need to get over being insecure?

You will hear from her and she will miss you, but you have to show her you best side, wine her and dine her, but take her out for a fun time and give her a chance to rediscover who you are again. It also will set you free of being dependent on her.

Harvey7.
 
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voteoften is offline voteoften Post #6  October 3,2009, 11:20am
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I agree with the others who are suggesting that you have a talk and see what she means by taking a break. You might also reflect on who puts in most of the effort in the relationship. Does she do most of the planning, cooking, organising, scheduling, etc? If she does, then maybe if you recognised that effort and said that you would help out more in those areas, you would see her more while she has ramped up her comitments elsewhere.
 
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