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Comedian Comedian is offline
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ServinHim wrote :
hmmm trying to
What is this about? Did I miss something?
- October 3rd, 2009, 10:18 am
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Wonderwoman402 Wonderwoman402 is offline
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The last three guys I have dated have each been married... and divorced... twice. I do not see it as a "handicap," however I am very careful to listen to their descriptions of how they get along with both ex's (especially if kids are involved) and his version of why each divorce occurred.

At least two of these guys were totally healed from their first divorce, but still wounded by the second.

One guy admitted after we'd been on a few dates that he still wasn't ready for a relationship and was going to take some more time to heal and maybe seek counseling. Another was still engaging with the ex over custody issues of their two year old son... and in just the few months we went out admitted (after a week of silence) that he had attempted to get back with her, but now realized that couldn't happen. But it was obvious to me he needed to learn to set boundaries with her, among other issues.

It's really all dependent on getting to know the person better to find out where they're at emotionally with the ending of those two significant relationships. Have they learned anything? Have they accepted their role in the break-up? Do they still want to be married (or in another long-term relationship), or are they now burned on women and just want to date around and have fun, not form an actual relationship with anyone?
- October 29th, 2009, 09:25 pm
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1passionatefem 1passionatefem is offline
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I do not see you being divored as a red flag. The red flag that you have created is not letting the person you are dating know up front! And I totally agree with Wonderwoman's post and that it the question I have asked myself in the past.
- October 30th, 2009, 01:14 pm
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BigHitVixen BigHitVixen is offline
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As a person who has also been divorced twice, I can relate to your dilemma. In my case, my first husband was very physically abusive, and my second husband (from a very respectable family) molested my son from the first marriage. I have tried both approaches of holding back this information and offering it, and have had a number of negative responses. Having bad luck in the relationship department doesn't make us losers, but other people sure seem to think so.
All I can suggest for your current relationship is to wait until she brings up the subject of previous marriages and see what bombs she has to drop. Who knows, she may be just as worried about being percieved as a divorced loser as you are! Just be patient, and know that you are not alone in this situation! Good luck!
- October 30th, 2009, 02:51 pm
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Emme Emme is offline
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My sister was married twice and met hubby #3 before the divorce from #2 was even final. Doesn't matter at all to some people, for others it will be a deal breaker.
- October 30th, 2009, 09:45 pm
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You will find the right time to address the issues...in this life the only thing constant is change....and in this day and age, divorce is so commonplace.... fortunately or unfortunately depending on your viewpoint.
- October 30th, 2009, 10:02 pm
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